The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the ~~innocent~~ naughty.
***
Waking up hungover. Ugh, you know the feeling, that groggy haze blanketed over a headache. Even worse if you’ve got a flight in a couple hours to go see your folks over the holidays, so you head to the bathroom to take a shower, wash the smell of booze off of you, and make some feeble attempt to seize the day.
That’s when you realize, standing in front of the mirror, that you’ve got a cock-n-balls (among other things) scribbled on your face with a Sharpie.
Fuck.
Let’s roll back about 12 hours. My senior year again, but first semester – before I’d started hooking up with Megan ([from other stories](https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gxsmh2/from_check_out_my_new_engagement_ring_to_bent/)). I honestly don’t even remember which holiday it was, coming up on either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I’m living in a house with two other people, and we had some sort of party with a bunch of folks over, including several from the racecar team I was working on. This includes my buddy Nick, and his girlfriend Sara.
This racecar team thing (some of you might know the one) – suffice to say it’s a lot of hours, everyone is super tight knit and spend a lot of time together. So Nick, Sara and I (among others) hanging out – nothing new.
Sara and I are cool, we get on well, but she’s just genuinely outgoing and friendly with everyone. I’m sure you know the type. Yet another straight haired blonde in my life, very thin and petite figure though. Don’t get me wrong, she’s definitely attractive, I just am naturally more drawn to a bigger ass and fuller thighs like Aubrey or Megan. Still, Sara has reasonably sized breasts for her frame, very perky, ate healthy and worked out, fit long legs and cute but small buns. Both she and Nick were a little older than the rest of us. I think I was 21 at the time, Nick 24, and Sara 26.
Granted, Sara could have fun – but never was a big deal. I remember Nick and Sara swinging by our lab on some weekend, I was the only one there and the (glass with wood frame) door was locked. They’re knocking on it, Sara turns around and lifts her dress and shakes her ass at me as I’m walking over like “Cmon hurry up!” And Nick just shakes his head and laughs like, whatever. Or she’d be the type to just casually tell you “Yeah Nick had a tough exam the other week, oh you’re in that class too? Yeah I guess he thought he bombed it but passed just fine, so I gave him a blowjob to congratulate him.” So I dunno, for one reason or another, while I felt like Sara and I had good natural chemistry with the *potential* to be more if it ever went that way, it was just never on my radar to be like overtly hot and bothered for her or make a move. Not to mention she’s dating a friend of mine.
As was par for the course those days, I overdid it on the drinking at this party. I didn’t even remember the last hour or so of it. But eventually was like fuck it, I’m calling it a night. Went upstairs, in *my* house, to *my* room, in *my* bed, and passed out.
What happened next… apparently Nick was mad because I was “hitting on his girlfriend” (which she even later said was bullshit), and being pretty drunk himself decided he’d come up to my room and do the deed. So, 12 hours later, I’m out of the shower after having scrubbed my skin until it feels raw, and the permanent marker is still there. At this point I’m out of time and either have to go to the airport or not. And… I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to go to a hub, international airport looking like this, much less then seeing my parents. I called them, said I was “feeling really sick” and asked if I could get a flight later or the next day, and that I’d scrap up the money for the change fee (since they’d bought the original ticket). They later told me that they figured I was just hungover and puking… but probably not that I had a ballsack drawn between my eyebrows. Either way, pretty embarrassing.
Now you might be thinking that at this point I’d be pretty fucking livid. Who the *fuck* does that? I’ve *never* drawn on someone else, and that is the one and only time someone has scribbled on me. But honestly, it wasn’t outright rage or anything. I was so mad that it’d gone beyond just basic anger, and I just had this clarity of vision and determination that whoever did this – they’d get what they had coming. Over the course of the day I texted a bunch of people and pieced together what happened.
Fast forward to after break. I’m back in town, and it’s Nick’s birthday.
Sara really is a superstar girlfriend and great person; she likes doing things for people. For Nick’s birthday, she somehow managed to rent out the top floor of a bar in town and invited us all to come out. Suffice to say I had no desire to go, until I think our mutual buddy Jon (also on the racecar team) talked me into it. “Just come hang out, it’ll be cool, whatever.”
So I do, and it’s cool, and honestly I barely see Nick anyway – he’s doing shit with other people. Even kind of ignoring Sara honestly, who not only put this all on but is going around making sure people are having a good time, that drinks are going, and all that. She’s putting in all the work, and seems a little frustrated.
The layout of this place, it’s a two level bar. Bottom level is where most of their business is happening, and then they have this smaller level upstairs that Sara had managed to get for us. I think it had one upstairs bar, some restrooms near there, and then a more open and empty area beyond that and another set of restrooms over on that far end of the place. We don’t have a huge group so maybe only half of that upstairs area is occupied, the rest is just vacant.
At some point I’ve had plenty to drink, I need to get or make a call, maybe to go somewhere else after, and walk over to the dead / empty side of the upstairs level to take it. Kinda out of sight and earshot from everything else.
Finish taking my call, turn around, and oh! Sara’s right there in my face.
“Heyyy what are you doing over here by yourself? Oh taking a call huh, got a hot girl to see after? No?? Aw, are you having a good time though? You know I want everyone to have fun tonight, and I’ve barely been able to see you!”
She takes a step closer, touching and feeling the fabric of whatever button down I’ve got on.
“Ooh is this new? I like this material, and you look really good in it. And… what cologne is that you’re wearing? God damn, how am I supposed to resist a man that smells this good. …hey, here, come with me.”
From there on out it’s a blur of images of sensations (bearing in mind this was 10 years ago and I was 3 sheets to the wind at this point!).
Her hand grabbing my wrist. A quick look around. Bumping the door open of the men’s room on that empty side of the building. Going in. Lights on. A stall. Don’t even think we closed the door. A “Shhh!” followed by a smile and little devilish laugh.
I remember locking lips with her in that cramped little stall. Making out, getting handsy. Reaching under the back of her dress, squeezing her ass. Getting a feel for what kind of panties she was wearing from how much smooth bare skin I felt before soft silky fabric. Turning her around, grinding against her. Pulling up her dress, admiring these emerald colored… not quite a thong, not quite boyshorts – probably Brazilian cut? Looked pretty damn hot in them even with a more petite rear end.
Her turning back around, dropping down on her knees. Belt buckle. Zipper. Boxers. Was it just a hand job? No, I think she sucked it before getting back to stroking. A noise! Both stop, totally still. Shit, are we going to be walked in on?? What are we doing?? More making out. I honestly don’t remember if I finished then and there or not. But eventually a “Too risky, we gotta go, stay here like a minute or two after I walk out.”
The sound of the door as she exits, then silence again, just me in there now pulling my pants up, thinking… *What. The. Hell. Just. Happened.* Lol. The whole ordeal couldn’t have been more than a couple minutes.
I eventually walk out, go back over to where everyone else is at. Sara’s back to being like a hostess going around checking on people as if *nothing* out of the ordinary just happened. I’m just like laughing to myself, probably grinning like an idiot, before finishing a drink, saying some goodbyes, and walking out to go crash at my buddy’s place.
She and I never spoke of it again.
***
**Epilogue**
Really wish I could have remembered more juicy details, but that’s all I could squeeze out of the few brain cells that weren’t killed by cheap beer and Jaeger shots back in those days.
Some time later that week though I run into Nick on campus, and he motions for me to come over.
*Ohhh fuck, this could be interesting.*
“Hey man, really glad you could make it to my birthday party the other night, sorry I didn’t to hang out more! I just got caught up with people.”
I just kinda nod, not sure what’s coming next. He reaches to get something out of his bag. No, not a gun lol.
“And I’m really sorry about… before break. That was a real dick move, I’m sorry, and I didn’t know you had a flight the next day. To make it up to you, I got you a bottle of your favorite vodka. Grey Goose is what you like, right? So… we cool now? No hard feelings?”
I take that frosted glass bottle in my hand, smile, look up and shake his hand.
“Yeah man, all good. We’re square now.” :)
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gyfihw/if_you_draw_a_dick_on_my_face_i_might_have_to
Misleading title
This r/gonewildstories not a final submission for your Creative English Writing class. Just chill out a bit.