A couple of months before Halloween I told my girlfriend that she could pick out my Halloween costume. It could be anything she liked. a few days later she said she wanted me to have a full body wax shave, I would only do that if it was for charity and of she good 10k worth of donations I would have a full make over which I thought would be a high enough that u would not happen.
the night befor the big shave she revealed she had actually good way more than I thought would be possible and she raised 65k to my uterbelive… ‘how did you manage that’ I said jasmine looked with a massive devilish grin ‘ 3 big money spenders came into work for an investment meeting and ask if we give you 10k would she go on a date with us separately, I told them for 20k each. so you now must stay a girl full time for atlest 3 weeks assuming you can have a date once per week on a Friday night and my boss has offered you a job as a girl for the three weeks but it can be extend if needed or of you want to extend that is.’ I look on with a blank face thinking how in the world did she manage that I couldn’t belive it ‘one last thing I’m live streaming your makeover from start to finish and hopefully we can get more donations well that’s what I’ve told everyone hehe’ Jasmine said all giddly and then skip away like a school girl.
The morning of the big shave/ makeover, I was nervous as hell thinking would i even look like a girl or girl with the wrong curves in the wrong places. we get to the salon at 10am, as we get out of the car she tells me to bring the suit case which is in the boot of the car ‘what did your last slave die off?’ she snaps back ‘ not doing as they were told after I’ve put all this effort in for what was supposed to be a one day thing so be a darling and dring the case in will you please.’
jasmine walks of with her head held high like this is the end of conversation and you best do as you are told kind of walk. I come in a few seconds later to be greeted be the receptionist
‘hello holly you ready for the big day we have planed for you, oh and ill take that case for you it will be safe with me behind my desk.’ i pass her the case and can’t see any name badge ‘thank you and why did you call me Holly and I didn’t catch your name’ i said with a puzzled look on my face. ‘don’t be silly Holly we can’t have you having a boys name after today can we?’ said in an assertive tone. ‘and your name?’ i said. ‘ come though here we will have plenty of girl talk to later but now strip time for you wash and wax hehe’ she was having to much fun about all this and I was getting a sinking feeling about was going to happen to me but I did say I would do it for charity which I was really starting to regret now.
I get shown to a bath and i take of all my clothes and leave them close by and as I’m washing my hair jasmine comes in takes my clothes and leaves a towel and a bath robe and what appears to be a thong for me which had to be pink. ‘come speed up we don’t have all day you know ‘ she said with that grin back one her face. I paused for a minute and couldn’t think of a way out of this and did as I was told.
i made my way out and was greater by a male this time which was nice for a change ‘what do they have planned for me today?’ i said trying to get some more information about how far jasmine planned on going today. ‘no time for that i need to get you waxed as fast as I can let’s start at the top and work down okay’ he said. I look on in disappointment but did as he ask. true to his word an hour ish later i was fully waxed and had a sore throat from screaming too was not expecting it to hurt that much. I’m usherd into the next room where four girls are waiting for me and ask ‘ would you like a cuppa darling ‘ to which a cup of tea would be nice about now ‘a cup of tea please with milk no sugar thank you’ i said. I’m seated in the recliner where they have put a towel over the mirror so i can’t see what they are doing i ask why to which jasmine ‘ we can’t have the big reveal spoiled now can we ‘ i grunt in disapproval they dont even acknowledge it. one starts on my head, one starts a pedicure one my left another on my right and jasmine is just helping them all weather its passing things and making cups of tea for is all.
any criticism welcome. even the bad ones.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/gtx40v/a_first_try_at_a_story_i_do_have_an_ending_in_my
First thought. more fragmented paragraphs. Speech in their own lines with only the actions performed when they spoke. Rest in seperate paragraphs.