Tinder Hookup helps me find my sexual self-esteem. [MF]

This is a story about how one hookup experience helped me overcome a self-esteem problem caused by premature ejaculation. Lessons I learned for that night have lead to me having the best sex of my life. And spoiler alert, it wasn’t something crazy like getting pegged, I had just been an idiot and didn’t appreciate the importance of foreplay and lube. I hope this might help some other readers around here, but if you don’t want to hear the non-sexy side of the story you can skip to the ***********.

Backstory:

Through my late teens and early twenties I always thought I was a 2 pump chump and it put a serious strain on my mental health. I would finish way too fast, sometimes even on first insertion, and never lasted longer than maybe a minute or two at best. I tried the last longer condoms, numbing creams, squeeze the base techniques, and so forth but I never found anything that helped.

My first time ever was in the back of my high school GF’s Ford Explorer and I literally busted the second I got it in. I know you always are supposed to come fast on your first time, but I started getting high anxiety about it. We tried several more times, but it was mixed bag of either not being able to get it up due to performance anxiety or busting within 30 seconds.

Eventually we both went to college and went our separate ways, but the performance anxiety issue lasted with me much longer. Of course being a horny 18 year old let loose on a college campus I was excited to try and hook up with girls. And there were plenty of opportunities, pretty much every weekend I would have some dance floor makeout at a frat house, or wind up in some girls bed from the dorm “watching a movie” but I was too scared to actually go all the way and would end up bailing.

Eventually though I did end up in a relationship, and after a month or so of dating we decided to have sex. She was a virgin and I didn’t know what I was doing either, so we tried our best. Again, I would come really fast. I hoped things would get better as we got more sexually comfortable with each other, but after months nothing really improved.

It was so bad that when I went to a doctor asking for help. I thought maybe I could get some viagra or something to help (this was before Roman or the other companies that just hand out ED pills to anyone with a pulse online). He was hesitant but prescribed an anti-depressant because one of the side effects was that it would make you last longer/unable to cum. I was too worried about screwing up my already slightly unstable mental health (probably not a great idea) so I didn’t even try those pills.

We stayed together for several years and the sex life was never good. We were too shy to really talk about what we liked and wanted. We were very vanilla and pretty much only did missionary because that was the one position that I could sort of be in control and not bust immediately. Cowgirl or doggy were pretty much off the table because I just couldn’t hold it in.

There was never a lot of foreplay, and for some reason I thought any stimulation to myself was causing me to come even faster, so I kind of had a mentality of let’s get this thing in there as fast as possible so that I can last longer.

Of course, now I realize that during that relationship I never get her properly warmed up, but I thought that’s just what pussy felt like. Not that I never tried to do foreplay, but even when we did I don’t remember much difference. Maybe it was just how she worked, but looking back we really should have tried using lube. I’m not sure why we never did but maybe it was my fault because I had never consider lube something that I would need.

For some reason, I had some fucked up preconceptions about lube. Primarily, I thought it was just for women and wouldn’t help me. I also associated it with old couples living in some boring marriage and needed something to spice it up, or that it was for people that had something wrong with them.

Eventually we did break up, not primarily due to the sex-life, but that sure wasn’t helping either.

***********************

I was coming off a 4 year relationship in which the sex was awful and far-between. I had always had trouble finishing too early and it really took a toll on my mental health. Being a horn-dog 24 year old dude who was newly single, of-course there was a part of me that wanted to get right out there and start smashing everything that moved. But, I was paralyzed by fear of embarrassing myself, so I never actually followed through on hookups or tried to flirt at bars.

However, one day I got a new message on Tinder that just pushed me over the edge. “Let’s fuck on the hood of your car” from this girl named Kat. She was blonde, a senior in college, and a had a pretty nice body. Smallish boobs but a nice butt. And she clearly liked to flaunt that ass, half her pictures were her in a wedgie-bikini bottom at the pool or beach. She also seemed to prefer the ass shots because she was kind of a but-her-face. However, it was Friday night and I had a had a few beers so I gave myself a pep-talk. “You’re going to fuck this slut tonight, and even if it doesn’t go well, who cares? The school year is almost over and she’s probably going to be out of here in no-time. You got this.”

I respond “IDK if I should be driving tonight, how about on my bed instead?” Her: “Hmmm, well as long as you drive me home in that tomorrow” (Yeah I know I’m a douche for putting a sports car on my profile, but it does work sometimes)

I give her my real number and invite her over to my place. About an hour later, I get a text that she is outside. She is dressed in a tube top, tight leopard skirt, and heels. I’m already thinking wow I can’t believe this is happening. I asked what she had been up to, “Oh I was at a friend of a friend’s birthday party, but I was really bored and wanted to get out of there.” Me: “So I guess you didn’t see any Porsches in the parking lot at that party” Her: “No, I didn’t see anyone as sexy as you either.” And we start making out in the elevator. She pulls me in tight and already starts grabbing my ass.

The elevator dings and I tell her to slow down a second, I’m friends with some people on my floor and didn’t want to get caught. Once we get into my apartment I offer her a drink. She accepts and we sit on the couch sipping and talking for a minute. My nerves were kicking in at this point, I should have just pounced on her the second the door closed, but now I’m getting a pit in my stomach and I feel paralyzed. I know I should make a move since she pounced on me just a few minutes before.

Luckily for me, eventually she leans in for another kiss on the couch. It starts slow but quickly ramps up in passion and tongue use. I’m so aroused with this woman’s forwardness, and I had just enough beers to sort of push that nagging anxiety into the back of my brain. Eventually she’s all the way on top of me riding me on the couch. I’m feeling her nice ass from underneath her skirt that is riding up almost like a belt at this point as we make out.

I eventually, without a word, stand-up picking her up with me. She lets out a little yelp of fear at first, but then returns with a sly smile “I knew you looked strong in those pics”. I carry her into the bedroom and drop her on the bed. As soon as she hits she’s pulling her panties down and tells me to eat her out. I dive right in and lick her clit like I was racing to get to the bottom of a tootsie-pop. She is clearly loving it moaning, telling me not to stop. After a bit, I start working my fingers into her vagina. Oh my god it’s like a river is running through there. Maybe that’s just a normal good state of arousal to fuck, but at this point I had never experienced such a thing.

A couple more minutes of that and she pulls my head up and says “I’m so close to cumming already and I need to feel your dick inside me”. I happily agree and begin removing my pants. She pulls me in while I’m standing beside the bed and starts giving me the sloppiest blowjob of my life. Again, I think this is going to make me cum immediately, so I make her stop and tell her I need to fuck her. She spits on my dick and lines me up with her vagina. I pause and say, “do you want me to grab a condom?” (Yes I should have just stopped her and put it on, but I’m an idiot like so many other posters here). She says “Not unless you want one, I’m on the pill.” I was in no-mental state to argue so I thrust right in.

Wow, it truly felt like bliss. So wet, so tight, but at the same time I didn’t have the usual I’m immediately going to cum dread. I slid almost all the way out of her and slammed in again, still nothing. That’s when a switch went off in my brain like “oh, this is what sex is supposed to feel like.” I was elated and started to fuck her literally like I had never in my life. At this point I’m still standing on the side of the bed and she’s laying face up with her legs around me pulling me in harder with every thrust. She is a mess, she’s just saying “fuck, fuck, fuck, harder, harder, harder” on repeat. Somewhere in the middle of this she took her top and bra off, so I throw my shirt off over my head.

Eventually, I asked if she wanted to switch it up, again wow new-experience I used bust too quick to get to a second position, and she says “I want to ride you.” Now as I stated before, cowgirl had been pretty much off limits because if I had no control over the motion I would be instantly done. So hesitantly, I say yes and lay down on the bed. She climbs on top, grabs my dick and slowly lowers herself down. It felt amazing, pure bliss. At this point I’m still only like 50% away from climax. She starts rocking her hips forward and back and I just laid there and enjoyed the view. Her tits were so sexy jiggling around in front of my face. She’s now fucking me hard and holding onto my leg with one hand and shoulder in the other to keep her balance. She’s got her eyes closed looking up towards the ceiling in put ecstasy.

Eventually I can tell she is getting tired, so I slow her down and get here to sort of hover a little above the bed. I the start fucking her hard from below and it feels amazing. She ‘Oh, wow. You’re hitting just the right spot. Don’t Stop. DON’T STOP!” I follow her commands and keep on fucking her as hard as I can, she eventually lets out a moan/scream and collapses on top of me. She’s out of breath, just came, and miraculously I still have a little left in the tank.

I give her a few minute break, and she asks, “what can I do to finish you off? You can do whatever you want, you’ve earned it” Now, I know this isn’t that out there, but I had never really been able to do the prone bone before. Specifically, girl lying face down with her legs together, then the guys fucks her from behind with his legs outside of her’s creating the tightest possible pussy. I would get it in and just cum right away. But with this new found confidence I tell her, “Flip over and put your legs together.” She eagerly does as commanded. I climb on top and ask her to help guide me in, so she grabs my dick and props her ass up a little off the bed to line my dick up with her pussy. I slowly push inwards until my pubic bone is firmly against her sexy ass. She let out a long low moan on the whole way in.

I just leave it there feeling that tight, warm, wet pocket of bliss for almost a minute before starting to retreat. It felt like stepping outside on that first warm day of sunshine after months of winter. Again slowly, I pull almost all the way out and start thrusting back into her, this time a tiny bit faster. I repeat again a little bit faster. After about 10 good pumps I’m now fucking her at decent rhythm and she is loving it. I’m getting close too. Through her moans I ask if I can come on her sexy ass. She begs, “Please just a little more I’m so close to coming again.” I oblige, and start fucking her even harder and faster. It doesn’t take long and I feel her leg muscles tighten-up, squeezing her ass checks together around my cock, and creating the tightest pussy I could even imagine. This sends me over the edge so I pull out and send ropes of cum half way up her back and all over her ass.

I collapse on the bed beside her, covered in sweat, and a newfound sense of pride. She takes a minute to catch her breath too and says “wow that was amazing” I respond, “you don’t even know how good that was for me.”

I did the gentlemanly thing and got a towel to clean her up. When I get back she, is laying there in the dim light looking so satisfied with a big smile on her face. Needless to say I had never felt this happy after sex. I still have no clue how long we actually fucked, probably about 15-20mins but it felt like a lifetime, that was the most intense sexual experience I had up and to that point by a factor of 10.

We slept together naked, and went for round 2 in the morning. I can’t say it was as epic being hung over and tired, but I still was able to last a respectable amount of time, reinforcing that new found confidence I had in my sexual abilities.

We continued to hook up several more times over the coming weeks. Eventually she even introduced me to the miracle of lube, and wow that brought sex up an even higher level. We were never really compatible outside the bedroom and I wasn’t ready to jump that quickly into another relationship, so we eventually drifted off. I now know the importance of foreplay, and even if that isn’t getting the job done I always keep a bottle of lube in my night stand. Maybe my issue was more of a mental one than a physical one, but pre-mature ejaculation has never been a big issue since that night.

I still think about that first epic fuck and thank Kat for getting my sex life back on track.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/fxg9fv/tinder_hookup_helps_me_find_my_sexual_selfesteem