It all began while she had an illness, the medicine for which left her unconcerned and indifferent, toward sex. And even though she was recovering, her libido had fallen off to the point that even talking about sexual activity was an act of futility. I came home one day to find a small anal trainer on the table.
She had always enjoyed light anal sex, I would often take my finger and circle around her anus, rubbing and teasing her there as I would give perform cunnilingus, varying between the intensity of licking and light sucking on her clit and the pressure I would apply to her anus. As she would come closer and closer to climax, she would push against my finger, taking it in, riding it until she came. I used to tease her, saying her g-spot was in her butt. Usually her answer to this was a teasing terse, “What, you have a problem with that”?
Now I had a problem for sure, as she seemed to have lost interest in sex, nothing I was doing to encourage her seemed to be working and now the trainer on the table was a plain sign that for the foreseeable future, she wanted me to please myself.
During the early years of our love making she too would stroke and tickle my anus when we would 69. God it was electric. But as time passed, she did so less and less until she simple didn’t anymore. This had awakened an interest in my about play with my own butt, but what I really wanted was for her to do the playing, I never really saw it as a form of self pleasure. With the onslaught of the internet came forums and chat rooms dedicated to every hobby and interest a human being could ask for, naturally being sex positive people we participated in several of the sex oriented forums and it is there that I began to learn and think about prostate massage and prostate orgasm. Intrigued, I began to experiment but now the days of experimentation had come to an end. My sex life was about to take a hard turn into self pleasure whether I liked it or not.
And of course, I liked it. The trainer was perfect, it would slip in effortlessly and lay against my prostate and the vibrator in it gave a gentle buzz to my body and it wasn’t long before I began to have a couple of prostate orgasms. What was hardest though, was learning to do this solo. Sexual interaction had been the sole area in our lives where my need for touching and being touched was fulfilled. Now the act had become solely about orgasm, and while that is oh so pleasant, I was left unfulfilled.
As recovery from her illness took more and more time, we grew further and further apart. Living in the same house, sleeping in separate beds. Keeping separate schedules. Living separate lives. Dejected, heartbroken, my only comfort was sex chat rooms, porn and work. Somehow through it all the roots of our relationship remained alive and as she began to experience some real recovery, her desire for sex began to return as well. Her libido was not what it had once been, but her sense of exploration, openess to new experience was still there. During our down time and my exploration of prostate massage, I had developed a new taste for anal pleasure, and even had a new thing I wanted her to perform, pegging. I wanted her to peg me. She was lukewarm at best first time I brought it up, but willing to think about it, things were looking up I thought.
And then I bought a realistic phallus with a suction cup to stick on the shower wall to pleasure myself. My first experience with it was less than stellar, but after removing the condom and washing it, I had the wild thought to give it fellatio. Knowing I was alone, but on short time as we were getting ready to go out friends, I held it up and kissed the glans. Then I open my mouth and began to take it in, sucking and suckling, pulling out and licking, flicking my tongue around the glan, on the frenulum, taking it in again, taking it to the top of my throat, almost gagging ending with a long sucking kiss on the glan. Oh My God. I was in trouble. It did not matter if I ever used this toy for ass play. I wanted to suck it. To make love to it with my lips, my tongue, my mouth. I wanted to suck it till the color came off. I was terrified. What the hell was I gonna do now?
My wife had always been open minded about sex, and very exporative. But she had firm boundaries. And even though we’d had gay and lesbian friends, I had no idea how she would take it that I had a thing for sucking a dildo. In my mind at least, I thought it would almost be easier to tell her I wanted to make love with a man than it would be that I was making love with an inanimate object. And worse, it was a kind of love making with an inanimate object which I could not even each orgasmic pleasure with. It wasn’t anything like going to her and saying that I wanted to buy a 10” or 12” dildo with a 2.5” diameter to shove up my ass. No, I wanted to suck off a plastic phallus. Great.
But as she got better, our conversations began to take a change, reflecting a deeper intimacy than they ever had before. We were talking about new things we were doing in the bedroom, things she had said she had no interest in when we first started having sex. Things I had assumed she had done with a previous ex who had abused her those actions. And now here were were doing them. And to find out she had never done those things, just had mental aversions to them.
Finally, I told her. I told her I’d performed fellatio on the toy. She had almost no reaction. It was a thing, nothing more or less. What I didn’t tell her was how much I enjoyed it. Ileft things at that, but my mind burned. And burned. And the idea of being pegged fell off and was replaced by a new fantasy. A fantasy that burned, a fantasy that left me hoping for fulfillment. I wanted to perform fellatio on the phallus again. With her.
She once gave head that would make a man cry. No, she wasn’t the “suck a golf ball through a water hose” kind of girl. The head she gave was loving, intense, caressing. Energetic. Enthusiastic. Better than a porn star. Always left ya wanting more. It had dried up.
Now I was fantasizing about the two of us going down on the phallus. Kissing it. Kissing each other. Licking it. Licking each other. Giving head to an inanimate object but making love to each other. Long deep takes on the phallus followed by short bursts of short fast frantic strokes of the hand followed by lingerings at the tip, a flicking of tongues, a lock of lips, followed by long strokes of tongue up and down either side of the phallus licking up the flavored oral gel we had drizzled the phallus in. Eye connections, moments I could see the longing in her eyes for more, a deeper touch of humanity, a longing to be locked in embrace, rocked with a gentle deep love, we pulled away having spent ourselves almost making love, making love, loving each other, loving ourselves, loving the phallus.
I yearned to be one with her again as we had been in past, full of love, full of lust. Everyday that passed this was what I yearned for, what I hoped for. What kept me alive.
As our bond renewed I shared this fantasy with her. How it meant more to me than any other fantasy I’d ever had. That if there were one fantasy I’d want to see materialize, this was it. My hope, desire, fear that she wouldn’t understand. My fear that she would despise me. Fear that somehow, we would never be complete again. “We’ll see”, she said, “We’ll see”. My hope grew thin.
Often I played these fantasy out, in my head and in life. In my private time I would suck the phallus. Make love to it. Hold it. Jerk it. Jerk myself. Deep throat it. Always envisioning her at my side. Playing with me. Sucking with me. Kissing me. Me kissing her. I could see her eyes. I longed to see her eyes. Longed to feel her embrace. Longed to feel her desire. Longed for her to fuck me. Longed to fuck her.
I really had no idea what she had in mind. She is good at keeping secrets that way. It’s part of what I love about her. To me her mind is one really big secret. I have never understood, I will never understand. I had finished showering, was cleaning up after a day of cleaning up around the outside of the house. Normal stuff, weed eating, mowing, cleaning up the general clutter we all accumulate.
I had gone into the kitchen thinking I would find her there to discuss our final plans for going out that evening when I heard her call to me in that sassy tone of hers, reminding me of the famous May West taunt, “Come up and see me some time” but hers was just “Hey” and one knew it was time to show up to her presence. As I entered the bedroom, she stood there dressed in lingerie with a brightly colored shearish over shirt. At her crotch was a pronounced buldge. She was obviously wearing a strap on we had bought quite some time back but had never used. I stood for a moment, shocked by what I was seeing, but not so numb that I didn’t move closer. Kiss her. Embrace her. Stepped back and pulled the open over shirt back to expose a lacy top, a garter, thigh high hose and the strap on.
I kissed her neck. I opened the lacy top and lay my hands on her breasts. Supple. Soft. Nice hand fulls. I leaned over to kiss them, her nipples quickly standing firm from the attention. I kissed her breasts, held her nipples in my lips. Pulled on them as I suckled her, swapping from one to another and back. Felt her ribs heave and heard her catch her breath. I began to move lower, kissing her tummy along the way and as I began to reach for the phallus she wore I heard the unmistakeable voice she used to correct our children, “Uh, Uh, Uh” You got to show me you know how to suck my dick first”
She pushed me back onto the bed and deftly reached behind herself and retrieved my phallus which was stuck to a plate and covered in a pineapple banana flavored oral gel by the scent of it and placed it between our pillows. She then lay on the bed, looked at me and said, “Well, are you going to show me”? As I moved toward the phallus so did she. Our lips met at the tip of the glans. We kissed, Not one of those long tongue down the throat kisses of teenagers hoping to get laid, but a gentle prolonged meeting of lips. As we parted, I began to touch my tongue to the phallus as did she. We lapped up the sweet gel on the glans, we began to lap up each other. Out tongues and kisses traveled the length of the phallus, each of us kissing and tonguing the toy, each other, the toy again, each other again. We would move to the glans, flicking our tongues together, bring our lips together, always the phallus between us, always the center of focus, always between our eyes as we would share our passion for each other through them.
Then she rose to her knees, placed the phallus on the night stand and fully revealed her strap on. Moving toward me she whispered, “Suck me” “Suck me now” I reached for her phallus, took as much of her as I could in my mouth, held her pulled her toward me, pushed her back. I repeated
this. Kissing, suckling, licking suckling taking her phallus as though hers were the only phallus on earth and I was a dick sick teen waiting for the chance to prove myself to my lover.
As I supported myself on one arm I reached with my other hand behind her, finding her buttocks, squeezing and pulling her toward me, her body was suddenly confused, not quite sure if it should follow the rhythm of my head bobbing on her phallus or the movement of my hand pulling her into me I again took all of her I could.
Infatuated with her phallus, the buss of her vibe was nearly mute beneath the old rock and roll she had playing. I greedily took all I could of her in again, squeezing and rubbing her ass, sliding my finger along the line of her inner cheeks, finding her anus and teasing. I continued to suckle her phallus as I began to hear her breathing shorten, her buttocks tightened and I could feel her orgasm as it welled and spent itself in her body. She shuddered, in her moaning was a muffled “God, Oh God”. We fell in a twisted pile of entangled arms and legs. We lay in each other arms savoring the moment, whispering sweet nothings. Her eyes were content. In that moment I knew all my fears of what she may think of my fantasy and what I thought she might think of me were no more than that unspoken fears, unchecked by love.
I rose to get us a hot washcloth to clean with and as I entered the hall I looked back. She had loosened the harness and was tasting the phallus. Tasting me. As her eye caught mine she shook the phallus at me and with the voice that only a woman can summon said, “My Dick and don’t you forget it” I sighed and replied, “How could I”?
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/epz2me/my_dick