The Pert Plus Incident
A long long time ago when I was about 12, a strange thing happened to me at a friend’s sleepover party. I had this one friend, let’s call him Boris for anonymity purposes. Our small crew of friends would usually go to his house and hang with him and his older sister. Let’s call her Persephone.
One night during February (I think it was), I went over Boris’ house to sleep over. The night started off like any usual 12-something sleepover; playing lots of video games, listening to whatever heavy music we had access to, eating junk food, etc. At one point his sister Persephone enters the room to chill with us. She is a couple of years older, rounding past the discovery phase of puberty into early experience with her (and other peoples’) private zones.
Things go on pretty low key for the next few hours. Eventually the lights go off. Boris in his bed, me on the floor, with Persephone next to me as we all rambled on about whatever. She starts to feel around under my blanket. She’s over-clothes feeling me up around my legs. I wasn’t totally taken by surprise because I have seen her do this casually to other friends before. I figured it wouldn’t go past that. But it did. Next I feel her opening up my pants and feeling around my underwear. At this point she takes my hands and invites me to do the same in return to her. She was only wearing a t-shirt and a small pair of shorts. Her breasts were ample considering her age. I’m beginning to get pleasantly aroused and also amused that we are trying to keep quiet while doing this, my friend in bed none the wiser.
We start to realize that his ramblings are becoming more and more subdued, almost quaalude-like as he starts drifting to sleep. Persephone decides to go for the gold and remove the member completely from its fabric dwelling. She begins to stroke it gingerly. Only another moment passed before I felt myself at diamond plus status. She turns to me and quietly asks “would you like to suck face?”. Almost as if it were a trick question. Of course I did, so I obliged. The making out and heavier petting commenced, and rolled onward for some time. I was definitely lost in it. Then she stops us, getting up to her feet, with my hand in hers. “Come on” she says. We go into her room. She has me lay on the bed and leaves the room for a second. She comes back in with a plastic bottle. I assume it was lube. I’m thinking “how smart, this oughta feel luxurious.” Oh how mistaken I was.
She squirts some of this liquid onto her hand and begins to massage it around my still-hard member. A familiar scent wafts up. I recognize it instantly as shampoo. “Wait a second” I think to myself….that is the incorrect fluid. Sure, I’ve jerked it with lotion before, sometimes with a very light amount of mild bar soap in the shower if I had to….but never shampoo. Me, being as polite and inexperienced as I was at that age, decide not to rock the boat. So I don’t say anything. She keeps going….the shampoo begins to foam up, the strokes are feeling sort of strange but not yet unpleasant. I begin to feel a hotness in my dickhole. It spreads slowly to the head, and then the shaft. Panic inflates my mind, I want to tell her to stop. How can I get it to stop without being a total dork? Somehow or another I willed myself using fear and mind power to have an orgasm. After my pathetic convulsing had subsided, she went to grab a towel and wash off. I wiped the shampoo from my shriveled pecker and proceeded to try taking a piss. It HURT. It was terrible. I sulked back into my friend’s bedroom and did my best to go to sleep.
The next morning when I woke up I was horrified to see that my dick was covered in what looked like a flaky red mass of dried skin. It still felt hot. Every attempt to urinate was excruciating. My panic from the night before was amplified as I began to think that I had contracted some sort of hand-borne STD. “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?” by Frank Zappa played repetitively in my mind, mocking my stupidity through the long hours it took for the pain to subside.
Eventually it did. The lesson I learned was to NEVER EVER use Pert Plus shampoo, or any other astringent soap liquid, to whack the mole. But alas, learning not to fuck around with my friend’s sister in a darkened room was not part of that lesson. The next time after that, I was just very sure to explain to her what is and what is not to be used as lube. That time she opted to make things simpler and just use her mouth. But that’s an ironically less exciting story, for another time…
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ejn9mf/mf_the_pert_plus_incident