I already posted this before but in the wrong community, sorry about that. Also: what I’m writing here isn’t an invitation for other men to try and have the same experience with me because the literal point of this post is asking for some advice to stop this, not continuing this with another man.
Last year I met a guy on omegle. I knew the reputation of that website but I genuinely went on it to strike conversations with nice people. One day a random guy with his cam off started complimenting me even though I wore nothing revealing at all. One thing led to another and he made me strip in front of the cam.
I was 17 back then and still had no experience when it came to sex or exploring myself. I never went further than one finger during masturbation and I just didn’t understand the whole hype around it.
But he made me realize I have an age fetish and am a mild exhibitionist. I felt dumb for not knowing that already, I always used to like older men much more than guys my age. And after showing myself to him while camming I felt this rush knowing that I showed myself to a total stranger.
During our first conversation he told me he was in his early 20s. I’m not naive and knew he probably lied but I enjoyed his presence and we added each other on snapchat.
He made me do crazy things on skype and snapchat. He pushed my boundaries further everytime and my orgasms became so intense. Sometimes I had to sneak into the bathroom at 3 am to wash myself and put my dirty sheets in the laundry because I squirted all over the place.
As the teenager I am I kind of felt emotionally connected to him as well even though he told me before it was only sexual attraction between us. I started to fall for a stranger I didn’t even know that well.
I asked him many times if I could see him partly. I also don’t show myself fully on cam. Just from my mouth down below. He has seen pictures of me fully but I never got something in return.
We argued a lot and the first time we took a break he told me he was actually 37. I wasn’t surprised because I already had a feeling he lied about it. But that made me like him even more, how fucked up that may be.
When we started talking again he told me he went back on omegle to see if other girls made him feel the same way he felt with me but they didn’t. I felt betrayed that he would just so easily do that because I didn’t even go on omegle anymore after meeting him. But we we’re really addicted to each other so we couldn’t stop.
The second time we officially tried to stop it he told me he was married and had three children. I felt awful and ashamed. I was also really jealous of his wife.
My feelings for him became more intense and he even told me a couple of times during our cam sessions he loved me. He keeps saying how lucky he is for being allowed to see me. But when I mention I want to see him he says it will put him in much risk.
I’m 18 now so legally it isn’t wrong but only morally because of his wife and children. He told me the last time we talked his wife is pregnant again.
I really like him and don’t want to lose what we have because it feels like a drug to me but I know it’s awful to do this to his wife and children. His youngest child is only 5 years younger than me…
I know I should stop this but how can I do that after many failed attempts?
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/e9wjyz/f_masturbated_with_a_married_man_twice_my_age
You’re infatuated. It happens to most of us, someday. Orgasms can strengthen bonding between people, and it’s easy to get hung up on people, especially when you’re young and someone makes you feel things you haven’t felt before. It’s going to be tough because you’re probably lonely and looking for validation, but you need to find that strength to give up this situation that’s toxic for both you and the older philanderer.
Two solutions.
1. The easy, lazy, short term solution is find someone else. People are more replaceable than you think. Ideally, someone local enough that you could form an actual bond. You could even try just widening your social circles IRL. If you start crushing on someone else, it’ll make leaving the bad situation easier.
2. The long term solution is to learn to be okay with solitude and independence. Love and affection are dangerous things, and shouldn’t necessarily be thrown about lightly. If you do find yourself in a proper relationship someday, being able to love yourself and stave off the insecurities of periods of solitude will help you resist the urge to cheat like your buddy. If you’re not frightened of being alone, you’ll know that when you settle on a good partner that you’re running towards someone and not away from yourself.