Yes this is my sleazy porn throwaway acct. I promise, this thing started off with good intentions. We haven’t seen this neighbor in what seems like weeks, but the lights are constantly on, day and night, and it was starting to smell a little weird near her doorway. So one evening, after a few six beers I decided I would go check on her. I’m going to make sure she’s not dead in her living room or anything!
I knocked on her door to no answer. Just for shits and giggles I turned the knob, and sure enough the door was unlocked. I walked in and did the usual, “Hello? Anyone here? It’s your neighbor buttstuff. Hello?” I took a quick look in the kitchen, where a bunch of takeout and trash sat, creating that funky aroma I was starting to smell. I peeked in the 2nd bedroom, nothing but trash bags full clothes and things. I look in the master bedroom and nothing but a bunch of laundry and hinnngggg is that a pair of panties on the bed? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It’s a sexy thong, too. Now my neighbor would do well in the r/pawg (NSFW) sub, just to give you an idea of what I’m dealing with here. Ok, let me just, ahem, see if this is clean laundry–you know, for sleuthin’ around; it could be an indication of time of death or what have you. Darnit, these clothes were freshly laundered.
But at this point my heart is beating, and every strong thud in my chest emanating from the exhilaration of having basically just broken into someone’s apartment is matched by a strong thud in the nether regions. I’m literally just whispering “oh my god. oh my god. oh my god” to myself as I start creeping around her bedroom. Maybe the closet has a surprise for me? Look, people. I’m not proud of this but I was really hoping to find a pair of dirty panties to take home. I’ll have you know she is either a very diligent laundry-completer, or she just hardly ever wears panties because in the pile of dirty clothes in her closet, there was not a single undergarment to be found, much to my attentive boner’s chagrin.
Fine. I’ll just have a look in your dresser and maybe touch my peen to one of your clean ones. Let’s look in thi–oh my god. What the hell is in this bag? Yes, that is a pretty big butt plug. Wow she is–WHAT the fuck, there is an even bigger butt plug in this bag. I’m talking the size of my two fists in girth. And then behind those was just the veiniest 10-inch dildo I’ve ever seen. The cuck I never knew I had in me just about jat his pants. I was pretty much frozen in place staring at these things but I knew I had to get the fuck out of there before someone saw me. So I closed the drawer and, just on a whim, opened up the top drawer and yes, purty panties a-plenty. I grabbed whichever one was furthest away on the bottom, hopefully one she’d never remember she had, and skeedaddled on out of there.
I went straight to my room and buried my face in those bad girls, a nice pair of cotton panties, but inhale as I might, I couldn’t revive the ghosts of her wonderful aroma / gaping asshole stench. As any freaklikeme knows, the smell is like 98.6% of the reason to ever procure women’s underoos, but the other 5% enjoyment comes from the soft cotton lovingly caressing your shaft as you jerk your shame into completion. But alas, it was not to be! I just couldn’t complete the deed. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do this with pair of panties? I can’t just throw them out. What if the raccoons come and dig them up out of the trash and have little fashion parties just as she gets home?
So I put them back. Welp, I don’t actually know her name , if you’re reading this. I’m sorry, and I hope you take out your trash soon. Unless you’re dead?
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/e8wtmv/mf_i_walked_right_into_my_neighbors_place_saw_her
fake as fuck