Good afternoon degenerates, lovesicks, naughty-goers, voyeurs and camel-toer’s,
I’ve been known as each of the names you see above you but for tonight you can just call me Maddie. Just Maddie, just little ol’ me. So, I know what you’re thinking: this chick is either trying WAY to hard with creative writing, or isn’t a chick at all. Unfortunately, I AM in fact 100% woman, and I say unfortunately because sometimes I feel like it would be SO much more accepted to be a MAN with the specific urges that I have. What urges might those be, unfortunately female Maddie? Well… They’re the kind that can only be shared in a venue like this.
A little about me: I’m a x2 time college dropout with a major in “This shit is useless”, I float around jobs like every one of my slutty bff’s floats around boytoys, and I so wish I was like them… They each tell me I’m cute in a spunky kind of way, and I half believe them… But deep down, I’m NOT like them. While they’re out spreading their legs for Brad, Chad and Eldad, I’m at home, glued to the piercing blue glow of my laptop on nights just like tonight…(here it comes)… Rubbing myself dry to written sex. And not just written sex, fucking well-written intimate tales that actually take you on a ride somewhere that isn’t the soup aisle of a grocery store or the cramped bathroom of a coach flight. (Swear that last one almost happened to me in RL)
As my name says, I also enjoy softcore films that feature a far less barbaric brand of love-making and actually bother to write a story and name the dicks and tits along the way. I know, probably not for you reading this, you like watching that cock go in, all the power to you.. But I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to YOU: The lad (or lady, written sex knows no gender) that enjoys a well-crafted tale with rich worlds built and three-dimensional characters, buildup and witty dialogue. Surely the Stephen King of sex is out there somewhere and wouldn’t mind sharing an evening with me putting together something that’s sweet and sour in all the right areas. (Again I reiterate, I am unfortunately female)
So if all of this desperate, hopelessly unfunny banter sounds like the kind of girl you’d at least make friends with between the writing, please say hi, say something funny, teach me how to tell a joke that people WILL laugh at, tell me your favorite sex scene in movie history, or hell, your favorite softcore flick that you snuck downstairs to watch at 6AM while your parents slept. (Oops, that’s me projecting again.) Either way, it was a pleasure putting this together, a pleasure conversing with all of you, and hopefully this will earn me one or two “orange envelopes” from likeminded folks, as they appear to look.
Talk soon everyone, thanks for putting that free hand to work, go nuts and God bless,
Maddie
*And as an extra incentive, if you can name THIS quote from a recent softcore film AND the actress who said it, who knows, maybe a little preferential treatment may be in order.
“Your skin is so soft, does he even notice that about you anymore? If he watched me make love to you, he’d be damn sure to notice…”
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/doakrb/23f4a_taking_all_comers_well_as_long_as_you_can
So the post is confusing dear. Are you looking to collaborate? If so I’m happy to work with anyone who will tolerate my sappy style (judging by the post I’d say you may). Of you’d like to sample the forbidden fruit then perhaps a direct message is in order. I can send you hard links to a few of my current projects so you can get an idea of how I write. I’d love to see some of your work too. I feel like this would be a good coffee read. What do ya say? Wanna dance?
Unfortunately I’m not born of my favored perspective either so we may have such in common. I’d like to hear about your experiences with e literature.
(I have no life outside work so writing is all I’ve got.)
Lost me at “trying WAY to hard…”
Obviously NOT trying too hard, or hard enough, even.