The Knob Goblin [MF]

It’s October, which is the best month of the year: Crisp mornings, cider donuts, colorful leaves and of course woman in sexy / slutty / sultry Halloween costumes.

For a bit of background about me, check out my previous post.

This confession is about a very random, but outrageously hot encounter.

I am not a big fan of trade shows, but a lot of my clients (and prospective clients) are in one place so it is an efficient way to do business. The two major trade shows for my industry are six months apart: April (in Europe) and October (in North America).

At some point I will share a great story from the recent European conference, but since it’s October, this is about a fun time at one of the North American trade shows, which a few years ago was in Las Vegas.

Now Vegas is one of my least favorite places, but people always party a bit harder at the social functions. One of my long-term clients is the President of a company that always hosts a big, raucous party on the final night of the conference and since the event was at the end of October, well, this was a big, raucous costume party.

I was given a few VIP passes to the private / side room by the President, who made it a point to say that I needed to stop by so he could introduce me to their new director of South America (basically, the chance to get a personal referral and expand our role with the client without a trip to Santiago, Chile).

My CFO was at the trade show and I asked her to join me at the event because she is an Ivy League educated wiz-bang with numbers (whereas I am more process oriented) and has an incredible ability to understand precisely the pain points the client has and more importantly articulate the monetary value we can provide. She also has made (and saved) this client a lot of money. The fact that the woman happens to be drop-dead gorgeous, has a fantastic personality and yet does not take any crap is invaluable. Basically, we were going to win the business.

Now I should say that my CFO is in her late 40s and happily married to a man that candidly has become one of my best friends. In fact, her husband arrived earlier that day because they planned to spend the weekend at the Grand Canyon before flying home. The reason I asked my CFO to attend the event, even briefly, is because they had an early start the next day and of course I asked her husband to join.

So we stopped at a costume shop around 5 o’clock (by the way, one positive about Vegas is they have some fantastic places for costumes) and we made our decision the moment we walked in:

[https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://hollywoodforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/DD_main.png&imgrefurl=https://hollywoodforever.com/event/dumb-and-dumber/&docid=pbQSenL2-YU9vM&tbnid=sVP4ZCNrC2RgOM:&vet=1&w=565&h=383&source=sh/x/im](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://hollywoodforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/DD_main.png&imgrefurl=https://hollywoodforever.com/event/dumb-and-dumber/&docid=pbQSenL2-YU9vM&tbnid=sVP4ZCNrC2RgOM:&vet=1&w=565&h=383&source=sh/x/im)

Of course we splurged and got the full kit, complete with the top hats and shoes. The CFO went as Mary Swanson / Lauren Holly (the shop actually had the dress and wig to match the tuxedo scene). I was Lloyd Christmas (the guy in orange).

If some of you twenty-somethings have no idea why these costumes are so awesome, shame on you.

Anyway, we arrive at the club around 8 o’clock and it was not only packed, but already in full party mode. The typical corporate excesses were on full display and certainly being indulged in by those in attendance. It was very clear that there would be a lot of serious hangovers and more than few regretful decisions.

We skip the dance floor and various open bars and go to the VIP room, but not without a few dozen comments about the tuxedos (it is incredible how much that movie resonates with a certain age group). We find the President, who promptly says “nice set of hooters you got there” and a few other quotes from the movie. More importantly, we were given glasses of champagne and introduced to the person from South America. We won the business in about 12 minutes (mostly due to the CFO) and promise a visit to Santiago before the end of the year (which is a fantastic story that I will eventually share). We find the President to say “thanks” for the referral and grab more champagne to celebrate.

My CFO and her husband decide to head out about 15 minutes later given their early departure. I did not plan to stay long either, but wanted to chat briefly with a few people I recognized. I also wanted a stronger drink, so I went to the bar.

As I waited for the bartender, a woman approached the bar and stood next to me and said, “Where is Harry Dunne?” I laughed, started to explain and then noticed that the woman was not only astonishingly beautiful, but also had on a skimpy body suit, a cape and a cute, but weird ensemble of a felt hat and hairy ears, hands, etc., that must have been meant for a kid dressed as a creature from Where the Wild Things Are.

“What are you?” I asked.

“I’m a knob goblin.”

Now let me be clear: I have known a few Knob Goblins in my life and wow, they are magnificent creatures, but they were of a different species than the dressed-up version in front of me:

[https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=knob%20goblin](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=knob%20goblin)

I am not sure what I said, but I must have had a smile on my face that let this woman know that Knob Goblins were my absolute favorite things on the planet because she said (and I will never forget this): “Yes, I love that you know what a Knob Goblin is. Oh, Lloyd Christmas is my favorite!”

We never ordered drinks. The Knob Goblin led me around the bar, out of a side door and down the hallway to a door that she unlocked with a key from her clutch. The room seemed to be equal parts dressing room and office. She closed the door and we immediately (and frantically) started to make out and within 30 seconds this enchanted woman was on her knees with my orange tuxedo pants around my ankles and was sensuously swirling her tongue around the tip of my cock.

I mumbled, “Oh. My. God.” as most men do the moment we know a blowjob is going to be absolutely fantastic and a second later she guided my entire cock into her mouth.

My previous story described an other-worldly blowjob from a corporate lawyer. This, too, was other-worldly for two reasons: One, the Knob Goblin knew exactly what she was doing and was damn good at it. Two, whenever I would look down there would be furry, pointed ears sticking out of a felt hat.

Just a few minutes into this incredible experience, I started to have the battle between my balls and my brain, whereby the former are about to explode and the latter only wants the pleasure to continue. Of course, the balls always win.

I grunt out that I am about to cum, which only encourages this Knob Goblin to increase the action. I immediately started to pulse at least four ridiculously strong blasts of cum that she gulped down. The sensation was so intense that my eyes clinched and the my orange top hat fell off my head.

The woman stood up, smiled and kissed me on the cheek. Still out of breath, I gasped, “Please, let me return the favor” and she said that would be lovely, but she had to get back to the VIP room.

As we walked out of the room, she turned off the lights, locked the door and we walked back to the bar. I tried to hold her hand, but she asked for me not to do that. The moment we re-entered the room, the woman shook my hand and took out a business card from her clutch and said “If you want to return the favor, then please text me tomorrow before you fly home” and the walked back into the group of 200 or so guests.

I looked at the card and I kid you not: The Knob Goblin was CEO of the event planning company that put on the party for my client.

I was not sure what to do, but I knew there was not one thing in that room or the entire club that could be better than what I just experienced, so I decided to leave and walk a few blocks to my hotel. Several people along The Strip gave me high fives or screamed “Lloyd” or shouted quotes from the movie, which was hilarious. I was in bed by 10:30pm and slept like a baby.

The next day I texted the Knob Goblin / CEO around 8:15am and she texted back 30 minutes later to say she was terribly hungover, but if I wanted to pay her a visit she was in room 412 at – incredibly – the same hotel as me.

I knocked on the door about 15 minutes later and she opened the door in a robe and a mess of hair. All she said as she stumbled back to her bed was, “I am in rough shape, so please fuck me slowly.”

I ran my hands over her whole body for a few minutes, which she seemed to appreciate, before one of them slowly spread her legs and started to caress her clit and then had one of my fingers enter her pussy, which was quite wet.

I asked her if she was ready and she said yes, please. I stood up, undressed, grabbed a condom from my pants, put it on, climbed on top of her and entered a wonderfully tight and warm pussy and then heard that fantastic sound of a woman releasing a long, passionate moan.

We did not fuck, but we did have insanely passionate sex twice. After the second session, I went downstairs to buy her a coffee and drop it off before I headed out. As I re-entered her room, I realized that I had never introduced myself and as I started to do so and offered up my business card she said, “No, please. This is better for both of us. Just please say “hi” at the event next October.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I said okay, but asked: What made you decide to pick me?

She told me that she had her eyes on me from the moment I walked into the VIP room simply because of the costume, then noticed my colleagues depart and she wanted to introduce herself. The fact that we had one of those instant attractions at the bar was the kicker for her.

I kissed the woman on the forehead and said “thank you” and as I started to walk away she said: “I told everybody else I was a Hobbit” and we both started to laugh hysterically.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/dcxeym/the_knob_goblin_mf