[MF] 29 Year old with facial deformity. How I developed a fetish for rejection and denial.

I am a 29 year old virgin with a facial deformity who gets off on women having sex with other men.

Born with Trecher Collins syndrome. Was bullied in school so was eventually homeschooled. I went to university where people were a lot more forgiving. Including women, but I was friendzoned by attractive women while desperately wanting sex so it was awful. One girl, who is the most attractive girl I have ever known. (Brunette, curvy, Iranian with an amazing ass) became quite good friends with me.

I became fairly close friends with i eventually tried kissing her when she drove up on a hill one night to see the city. (Which I think almost any guy would assume there was something romantic) but anyway I was embarrassingly rejected but she remained friends with me.

A few months later we were hanging out and she bought another guy along and they were touching and eventually kissing, we went back to her place to where after we smoked some weed they went into a separate room and I first heard her laugh then few minutes later she let out a moan. Felt like I got hit right in the gut, It was humiliating.

Then after like 20 minutes they came out and he just left like nothing happened. Almost in a disrespectful way to her “I got it, now I’m leaving” I couldnt believe it and she didn’t seem to care. She came out of the room seemingly all upbeat and happy. She offered me if I wanted anything to where I just said no. She said “Dont be mad, your my bestfriend”

Eventually we played COD and I slept over on the couch. Everytime i just wanted to hug her, get close to her, kiss her and love her. But I knew itd never happen.

Later on I couldnt get it out of my head. Especially cause she seemed like someone of high standards and that guy wasn’t. Also they were not dating he just a “Friend” just like I am. Only he gets to smash her beautiful ass. The jealousy became erotic and I began jerking thinking about them fucking. Knowing I will never get to made it so frustrating yet so hott and erotic.

I then told her she could bring him again next time we hangout and that I’d like us all to hangout. She liked that I was okay with it. But it didnt happen, as the next time I was at her place she invited him but he didnt show. Seems he wanted to just hangout with her alone and cant blame him.

I told her through texts that I found it hot and was really curious about it and if she could tell me some things that they done. She said that was really interesting, but ultimately refused to give me any details of her sex life stating “What we do is between me and him”

So I didn’t get anything out of that. But one time a few weeks later we went out for dinner and after at her place I asked if she wanted to invite him over again. She kind of laughed and said “sure” while she looked at her phone and texted him. It very much excited me knowing she knew I found this hot, yet she was agreeing to having him over. But few minutes later she said “He said he will come after you leave, well I tried”

I asked so will you have him over when I go? She said “yeah” I said okay I’ll leave in an hour so he can come. She initially told me to stay longer but I insisted I’m going. So she went to her room to get ready while I became really turned on knowing hes about to come and smash her.

She came back 20 min later wearing sexy white leggings revealing her ass curves. Which was obviously a thong underneath (no panty line and she had a bit of a wedgie) had her cleavage showing. I couldn’t help but had an instant hard on, she went to make tea and made me and herself a tea. When she sat down really slowly to not spill the hot tea, just the 2 second view of that ass made the blood in my dick swirl.

After tea I had to leave right there cause I was just too turned on. I left and she gave me the usual “Text me when you get home” I went home and texted her that I’m home, which she usually replies fast. But she didn’t and I fapped knowing he was probably there smashing her right now.

After that she became annoyed whenever I asked about him so I stopped. We eventually drifted as friends especially when she started dating (another guy)

I looked online seeking a woman to friend me and cuck me. Offering money in order to do it. Found an attractive woman (but certainly not as hot as the first)

I would only pay her to have sex with other men, while I am there. And I would have the honors of choosing the guy. We met for coffee first then a week later went out for dinner then to a guys place. Which I picked and he was fine with me watching.

We went there and I smoked a J while they began making out in his bedroom. I then sat in the chair where I watched them make out and have sex. And yes, he was very good at it from the looks of it. Her legs even shook from what she later told me was orgasm.

Despite thinking this was my ultimate fantasy. It wasnt nearly as crazy or exhilarating as I had assumed it would be. Maybe because she wasn’t really my type she was attractive but im not into blondes for example. Maybe it was because I didnt feel any connection towards her.

I never talked to her sense, which I feel bad about because she was willing to do what I was looking for and didnt ask for much money (I paid her 50$) and seemed to enjoy the scenario. But I just didnt get much jealousy or erotic frustration out of it.

Well o will continue on my search and hoping to find a beautiful queen that will cuck me, make me jealous and give me that exhilaration I’m looking for. I know the first woman would be able to give me that, she could drive me insane with jealousy. But she is rich and I can’t offer her much money.

Any solutions?

Ironically there has been times I have been involuntary made jealous like this after. I went on a mushroom trip with a spiritual guide, who was hot and I already knew her fairly well and she wanted to help make me confident and more uplifted. Another guy was participating and I’m 100% sure they had sex after she dropped me off.

they were lightly flirting and she took a quick shower before leaving. But most of all she planned on dropping him off first, as he lived 5 minutes away and I lived 30 minutes away. Yeah after flirting she changed her mind and dropped me off first.

Which kind of did the opposite of fixing me, just made me wonder what the hell they were doing and I got turned on by it when I got home.

I am currently working to find my queen, who I can pay while she makes me jealous with other men. Will update when I find her.

I realize the best thing I can do is male as much money as possible. Go to school for something that will earn me lots so I can support any woman which increases the chances of finding my dream woman

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/dalxwq/mf_29_year_old_with_facial_deformity_how_i