My book is set in 1940 Guernsey just as Germany has occupied. It’s written in the style of a diary entries from a young woman in her 20’s
The grammar etc needs work so I shall fix those things down the line, but would like to get some thoughts on it so far.
Thanks in advance.
4th July 1940
It has finally happened, the Germans have occupied Guernsey. My heart sinks at the thought that we have been abandoned by our Government. Our Island already living in fear now faces darker times ahead of uncertainty.
We have been informed that a soldier of the enemy shall shortly occupy our property for work, We do not have luxury of a study and so I assume that one of the bedrooms shall serve the purpose. I know Mother will have me running around for said enemy in order to keep the peace. She is far too consenting, even with things she disagrees with.
She was the same with my Father before he left her for another woman on the Island, and even his behaviour she defended.
Her compliance to everything fills me with anger and annoyance.
Ever since Father left two years ago Mother has relied upon me for so much. I am 24 and am a Daughter, a Mother, a Husband and a provider all to one woman. I have nothing to show of my own life, only the care I provide for her.
My work is my escape, it is only shop work in haberdashery, but it ensures I’m out of the house for a number of hours a day, and provides me with some peace, I also get a little discount on fabrics and buttons which is always handy.
Anyway, to bed I go, see what tomorrow shall bring, nothing worse hopefully.
8th July 1940
The moment of intrusion is here. He arrived today just after lunch, Mother let him in and welcomed him freely.
Worse than having a soldier in the house, we have an Officer! Officer Johann Schneider, he removed his cap to greet me, I however had no intention of greeting nor welcoming him into the home. (Mother had words with me afterwards, according to her I’m rude and ignorant.)
He waltzed in, a tall man with dark hair, fair skin and deep set light blue eyes. He informed us that he would take his evening meals with us, he proceeded to change the time on our clocks to German time, and also informed us that any patriotic signage along with any alcohol on the property would be confiscated. Tomorrow.
I done as requested and made dinner for him, He said no British signage around the house, however he said nothing about British food. And whilst under this roof if he insists on dining with us, he will eat what I serve him!
I made a woolton pie, with potatoes. I savoured every single moment of disappointment on his face at the lack of meat in his meal.
During dinner he tried to make conversation, Mother played nice and spoke with him, I stayed silent. He glanced at me, I’m not sure if he knows I’m being ignorant, or if he truly believes I am mute.
Before he left, he asked if we could be quiet upstairs after 10:pm as he needed to sleep. I intend to make as much noise as possible.
9th July 1940
This morning that fool had his soldiers come in and remove all the British signage and alcohol as mentioned yesterday, it’s ridiculous that he wasn’t even man enough to do it himself.
I did notice these Germans look nothing like Hitler, I don’t understand why they’re listening to that small fool.
I as promised made as much noise as possible, I stomped up and down the stairs a couple of times, stomped around my bedroom. It was clearly loud enough that he felt a need to mention it this morning whilst I was drinking my tea.
I felt his annoyance at the situation was worthy of an answer, I told him I was heavy footed.
He looked on at me rather blankly, maybe due to the fact I had an answer. He said nothing, but adjusted his jaw, looked down and nodded. Then he left.
And of course I made him another wonderful meal tonight, mock brains! Some porridge oats and other bits and pieces makes for a hearty meal. I somehow do not think he was that impressed, and wished that he had not had the alcohol removed from the house. He was also rude enough to ask if I had made pudding, I of course hadn’t. I assume he was still hungry.
He chatted and drank tea with my Mother, they spoke of their lives before the war. Mother told him the history of my Father, to which he seemed to listen. He told my Mother before this he was a writer. Mother asked if he had a wife or children back home, to which he said he didn’t I felt the need to ask why he wasn’t married, ‘Why are you not married?’ he asked in response. ‘Because I don’t have time to be married!’ I replied.
With that I removed myself from the table, I couldn’t bare to sit there with him a moment longer.
I feel so angry with the situation, but I must try to relax.
I’m meeting Elsie and Judith for the cinema tomorrow.
Another rule the Germans have instructed ‘No more than three people are to meet at one time.’ Ridiculous!
However it is an excuse to dress myself up and put on some lipstick, will be nice to make an effort with myself. And cinema is an enjoyment we still have left. We’re going to see ‘A Window In London’.
For tonight, I shall once again enjoy making as much noise as possible to irritate and annoy him, I shall watch him grow more frustrated by the day until he leaves for more comfortable lodgings.
I may even get up extra early to scrub the landing, 5 in the morning seems reasonable, I can’t help wanting to get chores done and out the way, I have a busy day tomorrow getting ready for the evening, so I at least have an excuse if he asks why I was cleaning so early.
Even better, I may tell him I found fleas in the house and had no choice but to start cleaning, although my Mother may have a heart attack if I spread those sorts of rumours.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/133ao96/looking_for_opinions_on_a_little_book_ive_started