Im writing my very own Slice of Life/Hentai story and would like some suggestions on making the concept better. I have five male characters and one female character that all attend the same college. Hayate the shy and soft virgin, Hifumi the energetic and outgoing gamer bro, Tadashi the reserved athletic swimmer, Mizuki the well read but degenerate one who owns a body pillow, and Niko the actor and singer who keeps his sexual fantasies a secret. Yosei, the female lead and Niko’s step sister, is easy to connect to and loves to hang out with her five male friends.
After all the make friends confess their feelings for Yosei, she comes to the conclusion that they all are husband material in their own unique ways. To give everyone a fair chance at her love she suggests an impregnating roulette. An aggressive and messy orgy where Hayate, Hifumi, Tadashi, Mizuki, and Niko all ejaculate in Yosei’s womb. Whomever’s seed is the one to impregnate her wins her hand forever.
Let me know what you think and what can be done to really make this story pop. I understand this is a wild and unrealistic scenario but I think it can be a fun idea.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/12zrgda/impregnate_roulette_original_story_concept