[F] My enemy used me and I loved it

I’m a Palestinian from the US. Growing up in a conservative and traditional Muslim household, I was groomed into hating Jews, told that they’re all evil colonizers that would burn in hell for all eternity. I’m supposed to hate them for “taking my land” or whatever… It’s sad to say that it worked. For a long time I couldn’t stand Jewish people. My parents always saw me marrying someone from our background and, being a slave/baby machine for him with only 1 bodycount for the rest of my life. I was indifferent about that future and accepted it at one point.

That was until I went to University. For the first time I had the freedom to do and be with whoever I wanted. I dated many different guys, some Irish, Korean, Italian, Swedish, etc. and while sex was good in some aspect with them they could never degrade me the way I wanted to be. I wanted to be treated like a cum dumpster and I was ready to give up on the idea of ever enjoying the whole “sex” thing entirely.

Well last night I went to a bar after work. Two men walked in half an hour later. They were twins and from the corner of my eye I could see one of them staring at me like he was hypnotized. He didn’t turn his eyes away from me until he saw me notice. Then he started a conversation with me to save face.

OK I’ll get straight to the point, he was hot as fuck and he had a strong body being twice my size. I wanted him inside me. I didn’t find out he was Israeli until I got to his place and we were already making out. Rationally I don’t know if I would’ve gone back to his place if I knew at the bar. I found out because he had one of those little white caps. He told me he served in the IDF. In the back of my mind I was thinking that there was no way I could do this while he’s kissing my neck. His dick was huge, bigger than anyone I’ve seen. I wanted him to give me the most animalistic sex possible, so I made sure to let him know I was Palestinian.

His attitude changed and he was more aggressive. I asked him to put on his uniform and he colonized my body. He gave me the most passionate and fucked up sex. He called me a Palestinian bitch and fucked my brains out until I came seeing stars. He spat on my face and forced me to my knees. Then he fucked my face and gave me a facial. He didn’t let me get up until I drank all of it. He told me that next time he breeds me he’s going to finish inside me and that he wish he could fuck me in front of my parents so they can watch me get defiled.

I feel so guilty about this. He texted me but I can’t bring myself to reply to him. I feel such a deep shame. I’m a traitor. I still can’t stop thinking about him. Why did I enjoy it so much? Why did I like him treating me like the scum of the earth and a prisoner? I’ll never know.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/12v3ifn/f_my_enemy_used_me_and_i_loved_it