Throwaway account because I agreed to him I wouldn’t say anything to anyone.
He (M22) let me (M19) know he was in an open relationship and his fiancé (F) knew he was looking for someone to perform oral sex on regularly. I was terribly lonely at the time and my bad habit was using sex as a coping mechanism for unresolved emotional and sexual trauma. We would meet up in public places and he would perform oral on me and we’d have sex. I enjoyed how he’d talk to me and desired me but the whole fiancé thing never really sat right with me. Maybe because even after promising me that we’d have consistent sex, he’d be so busy between work and his fiancé I was on the sidelines.
We had sex in showers, public restrooms, saunas, in cars, empty lots.
It wasn’t good for my mental health and my emotional health. He always wanted to include me in their sex life but I wasn’t really willing to. Since then I’ve given up porn and decided to be celibate. I haven’t had sex with him in over a month.
Sometimes when I get lonely I think about unblocking him just to feel someone else body heat. Then I remember how he was never willing to drive to me but I always had to drive to him. I can’t live that life anymore. I don’t know how to feel. It’s a shame that I believe the only reason someone would show me any emotional support is through sex.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/12c71dx/i_m_had_a_friendswithbenefits_relationship_with_a
I’m proud of you for taking a step back and treating yourself with some respect. It’s not easy, but you deserve a relationship (however you want it) that satisfies you physically and emotionally :) *friendly hugs if wanted*
very glad you put yourself first