[F] I had a threesome with my boyfriend… and his ex

“What’s one thing you want to do before you die?” my boyfriend Tomas * asked me at the end of last year.

“Have sex with a woman,” I replied, without hesitation.

“Interesting,” he said, nodding his head.

Little did I know, just three months later Tomas would be stood in the corner of my room, watching me going down on another woman, before pulling off his pants and joining in.

I’d started seeing him last year, and we immediately spent a lot of time naked together in bed/on the kitchen bench/in his sauna. A month later, I went back to my hometown for Christmas. Although things were getting serious, we weren’t yet exclusive. So while we ended up sexting most nights while I was away, I also spent my fair share of evenings making out with women on nights out. From a few drunken dance floor kisses, to me sticking my head under another woman’s skirt for the first time in my life (all while locked in a toilet cubicle), I was having a lot of fun. And because I wanted to be honest with Tomas, I didn’t hide this from him.

“It’s not like I mind or anything, but would you say you’re bisexual?” he text me one morning. I told him I wasn’t exactly sure – I’d never felt a need to put a label on my attraction to women; though, if I did, I’d say I identified most strongly with bi-curious.

“So, you weren’t joking when you said you wanted to sleep with a woman?” Tomas asked. “How would you feel about a threesome?” Although ‘bisexual women all want threesomes’ is the biggest/most harmful stereotype in the book, a threesome with a woman and a man has always been on my sexual bucket list.

Tomas hadn’t ever had a threesome either, but it turned out he wanted to. He told me he knew a woman who’d be keen, and judging from the descriptions I’d been giving him of the women I was into, was exactly my type.

When I asked if they’d previously slept together, he said they had. He explained Sara* was bisexual and had spoken about wanting to try a threesome someday. Tomas said he’d ask Sara if she was into it, and send her photos of me if I wanted. I agreed.

Sara and I immediately followed each another on insta, and both told Tomas how attractive we found the other. I didn’t know anything about her, since Tomas had never mentioned her before. But I gathered they were just two people who slept together once and then became great friends.

Over the coming weeks, the three of us made a Snap group and sent nudes to one another in between pictures of our dogs. It was a healthy, wholesome balance.

After I’d been at home for a month, I came back to the city for work and spent the following weekend at Toma’s. I asked him to tell me a bit more about Sara. After all, if we were all going to sleep together, I wanted to at least know more than her insta handle.

As it turned out, Tomas and Sara weren’t just old friends… they were exes. He’d been seeing her exclusively for nearly a year, three years ago, but had only committed to an official relationship for a few months before calling the whole thing off.

They broke up because Sara realised she was also interested in women, and she wanted to explore that side of her sexuality independently. Tomas had supported Sara in this and the two of them had remained friends. They also occasionally slept together.

After hearing this, I realised that if I went ahead with the threesome, I’d be going against every tip I’d ever heard: don’t have sex with someone either of you know, cut all ties with the additional person when it’s over, or have sex worker be your third because they will keep it professional.

But it wasn’t just other people’s advice swimming in my head, it was my own fears. Would this ruin mine and Toma’s relationship before it even had the chance to start? Would I feel insecure, or that he wanted her more than me? Or would something happen to make me jealous that I’d never move on from? Regardless of my concerns, I knew I was still curious… and really attracted to her. I couldn’t get it off my mind.

About two months after we’d first suggested the idea, the three of us went for breakfast and took our dogs for a walk. I finally got to meet Sara in person, watch how her and Tomas interacted, and listen in on private jokes that were still lasting the test of time even when their relationship hadn’t.

I could tell they cared about each other, but I didn’t feel any pangs of jealousy. Sara was the kind of person I could trust, and I knew I’d be able to be honest with her if something made me uncomfortable once our clothes were on the floor – something I couldn’t guarantee I’d feel with a total stranger. Sara agreed to come over to mine one night so the two of us could have some alone time. And we agreed Tomas could then join us a few hours later. We all knew what was happening.

Throughout the week, Sara and I watched threesome porn and sent each other screenshots of positions we wanted to try. We sent photos to each other in our lingerie, and talked about what colours and styles we liked best. Sometimes, I stopped and compared my body to hers, wondering if Tomas wished I looked as fit and naturally gorgeous as his ex. Mostly I got lost in enjoying her beauty myself.

When the night rolled around, Sara and I talked on the sofa about our families and work, like two good friends having a regular catch up. Yet, I knew exactly what her red corset looked like under her sweater, because I’d chosen it. I couldn’t wait to see how much better it looked right in person than in the photos she’d sent me.

Once Tomas arrived, we all moved to my bedroom and cracked open a bottle of wine. After more talking and hands flirtatious resting on legs, suddenly Toma’s lips were on mine and Tomas was kissing the back of my neck.

Tomas got up to get a condom and ended up standing in my doorway, watching his ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend revel in each other’s bodies. She sucked on my nipples while I slowly pushed my fingers inside her. As I felt her moan into my skin I thought, ‘My bucket list is getting shorter’.

It wasn’t much longer before I moved and positioned myself in between Toma’s legs, so I could go down on her. As I did, I arched my back, making room for Tomas to put his cock between my legs and penetrate me from behind. Next, we tried all the positions we’d been admiring in the run up.

I was the first to climax, with Tomas following shortly after. Exhausted, satisfied, euphoric explorers, we then both turned our attention on Sara. Eventually, she said she probably wasn’t going to orgasm – regardless of how aroused she was – since it had never been an easy feat. Tomas said he could vouch for that.

Instead, Tomas and Sara who consider themselves to be ‘givers’ who find more satisfaction in getting someone else off, took turns in pleasuring me. Tomas whispered commands in my ear as Sara fingered me to climax. Then, Tomas licked my clit while it was Sara’s turn to call the shots. I realised this identical desire to give ad probably created a frustrating dynamic in their sex life, and more of my initial worries fell away.

As we laid in our post-sex slumber, it was clear Tomas didn’t know who he should give his attention to. Sara said she felt like she shouldn’t stay much longer, and I cuddled in between them wondering if I was getting in the way of some post-sex ritual the two of them shared after all these years.

Another hour went by and Tomas and Sara kept saying the same thing at the same time, laughing about how their minds were still so intertwined. Then, Tomas started telling a story of our first date, and I could see that same twinge of discomfort that I myself had felt flash on Sara’s face. I held her hand and squeezed it. We were all in a weird position.

Tomas and I wanted Sara to stay the night, but she decided against it. She kissed us both on the cheek on her way out, and messaged the Snap group to thank us for the evening once she got home safely. We each text her separately telling her how much we appreciated her, and we woke up to a video of her puppy.

Now, Tomas and I are still happily together in a committed relationship. I still send nudes regularly to Sara or talk her down from first-date nerves. Tomas and Sara don’t have sex anymore like they used to before me, but they do still go to their favourite restaurant every few weeks.

Thanks to an unconventional yet comfortable dynamic, I was able to explore the fluidity of sexuality by experimenting with a woman who I trust and adore as a person – both with and without my equally-adorable boyfriend.

Ever since, I’ve felt more confident expressing my sexuality to those around me. And, Tomas are I have opened a new dialogue about further experimentation within our monogamous relationship. Despite going against all the advice my friends had given me, following my own rules for my own sexual experience was the best decision I could have ever made.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/12626au/f_i_had_a_threesome_with_my_boyfriend_and_his_ex