Then, stroking the side of his neck and face, I whisper in his left ear: ‘You’re beautiful, and I want to fuck you.’
I move my head back and we hold eye contact for a second that feels like a minute. He’s excited, scared, turned on. He wants this, and I need him. For a brief moment I understand cannibalism, because I want all of him, forever.
I slip off my shoes and take off my belt. I back away and fold it in my hands as if to make a whip. His eyes widen for a moment but he sees the joke for what it is and laughs out of his nose. I throw it to one side, and we kiss for a little bit longer, and I stroke him. With my shoes off we’re almost the same height and we lock eyes.
‘Bed.’ I instruct him and he nods, walking over to it as if in a dream, crawls on all fours to the top, places one pillow on top of the other, and turns on to his back, facing me.
I take off my shorts, leaving only my t-shirt, socks, and black boxers – which look as if they’re about to lose the fight.
He can’t wait any longer, shuffles to sit on the edge of the bed, and takes them off. I’m well hung, and have never been bigger than I am now. The eyes widen again (not for the last time), and he holds it for a moment, before I decide that it’s his turn on his knees, take his hand, and guide him on to the floor. I take off my T-shirt.’ He looks up at me, then tenderly goes down on me. The heat and wetness of his mouth make me moan a little, making his eyes flit up again and both he and his eyes smile. He gets back to work, giving me good head. The blowjob itself is decent, but when someone’s that hot you don’t really analyse it like you might with a glory hole or someone plainer.
Instead you look down at their face, the top of their head, their shoulders, their back and ass – and feel grateful that out of all the billions of years and light-years you are there, then.
This goes on for a little while, and he makes me feel good but not close – ideal, really, as I want to drag this out. Forever, if I could, but I’m on holiday and in any case we’ll both go the way of all flesh. Or would we, if we stayed in this room forever, bed, shower, room service, cold beer from the fridge, bed? I think we’d have a shot. Dragging myself away from the abstract, I realise I want his hole more than immortality.
I draw back, out of his mouth, he raises his head, saliva smeared over his mouth and chin. I beckon him up, more kissing. No need for instruction this time, we wordlessly get on the bed. Straddling him, I see something that I’ll never forget. His soft black hair and flawless amber skin is framed by the ivory pillow.
‘Do you have lube?’, I ask.
‘Oh, shit.’, he mumbles, clearly not having thought about it at all.
I look around for a bit, terrified. If I couldn’t find anything I’d have to find a shop, and I really didn’t want to bring the outside world back into existence. I found some hair conditioner, and moved it around his hole, as he looked up at me with a desperation to be filled. I put a finger in and he gasps. Leaning on my hand I go deeper, he’s already breathing more quickly. He pulls me closer, so I relax onto my side, he turns to face me and rests his left leg on my thigh. We’re staring at each other as I put a second in, and start that ‘come hither’ motion. Another gasp, his face scrunches up a little, another kiss. I return to my knees, go more quickly, put a third in. At this point he starts moaning, exhales the first ‘yeah’, eyes roll, and his head falls back to look at the ceiling for a bit. If fucking didn’t exist, I could do this for years – but it does, so I quickly get bored.
I lean over him, my fingers still inside him.
‘What do you want.’
‘Fuck me.’
Well, if I must. I get off the bed and fish a king-size Skyn from my shorts and put it on, cursing myself for being too lazy to go on PrEP.
Back on the bed, I wrap my hands around his thighs and pull him towards me, his head now flat against the sheets. Placing his legs on my shoulders raises his hips, so that I can find his hole. I enter him very slowly, watching him to make sure I only hurt him a little bit.
‘Fuck.’
His face scrunches up again, this time a loud moan and more panting. He places a hand on my hip, trying to push me back. As a part-time bottom I know this is a bad idea, so I bat it away and instead pause a little to run the hand that isn’t holding his legs in place over his chest. I stroke his cheek, lock eyes with him, and tell him to stay still.
He calms, and I move in a little more. He gasps and makes some sort of facial expression I can’t describe, but I can tell the pain is starting to ebb, even if it’s yet to turn into pleasure.
A few short, slow strokes and he’s looking up at me – shocked. I’m a man, he’s thinking, but I’m on my back beneath another man. I used to dream about this, he’s thinking, but now it’s actually happening – and it’s the only thing that’s happening.
I gently go all the way in and he moans loudly for the first time. ‘You’re so fucking deep’. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Yeah.’
I begin to fuck him steadily now, his moans almost constant, broken only by his breathing and the usual nonsensical stream of swear words.
His brown eyes are the widest they’ve been, and I fuck him as hard as I can. ‘God. Fuck Me’, then the moaning again.
My sympathy for the neighbouring rooms disregarded, we go on like this for minutes. With a condom on I don’t feel much, but it’s irrelevant. It’s about being in him, with him, hearing him, seeing him. He’s mine, and I’m making him feel good.
Hell, I want people to hear.
[Click for part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/11ihw6t/mm_a_certain_sense_of_loss_pt2_long/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/11ihw6t/mm_a_certain_sense_of_loss_pt2_long