I’m inspired to share this recollection in the hope of helping guys who have had anxiety struggles around erectile dysfunction / premature ejaculation.
Rewind – I slept with a guy who was quite anxious beforehand. He’d thrown into conversation that he hadn’t had sex for nearly two years. I struggled to see how, but no judgement. He was kind, had a lot going for himself and was funny.
He dropped in there that he may struggle with lose his boner but wasn’t sure.
Okay, not a problem at all.
I reassured him that I liked him, that I’m not here to judge his ‘performance’. I liked him, wanted to pleasure him and would have fun exploring each others bodies regardless.
I was told I’m not like most girls. This didn’t click at first. He was trying to tell me that I wasn’t putting excess pressure that men often face to ‘deliver’.
I suggested we could enjoy cuddling, or even some foreplay, at his pace. Despite me being VERY horny, the greater good was him feeling comfortable.
We got down to things and when giving him head he went floppy. He panicked and I told him I know it’s difficult for guys for a variety of reasons. No need to worry. He got harder again and we got back into things.
I asked if he wanted to have sex, and he did. I could sense he was nervous and I let him know that at any time, we could stop, or change position, or if he needs to, let me know what works best to stimulate him.
He was on top of me, and I’ll add, giving it to me fucking good. He paused and he’d gone to a semi. I smiled and asked if he’d like more head or to take a break. We got back into things, and I whispered, asking which position he enjoyed the most.
When putting me in doggy, we were back in business. My, oh my, he clapped my cheeks. Starting slow, building up and making me cum. This was a turning point. From here, oh boy, we were on fire.
I sensed he’d been shamed previously and struggled as a result. He confessed afterwards that he felt a huge relief and really enjoyed things, having had a bad experience previously. The poor guy hadn’t sought after sex due to that in years.
Guys, if you feel like ED or premature cumming is kicking your ass – there are women who are patient, understanding and would love to enjoy your company in bed. The women that heavily judge and ridicule are not worth your time.
Don’t put yourself down and speaking about these things can help loads, or at least, get you in the right direction to enjoyment again.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/108mqvq/f_this_story_of_my_sexual_encounter_with_a_guy_m
This is very good of you to share. There is nothing better than a caring woman who doesn’t find it necessary to belittle others.
Same goes for men, too.
The real MVP!
Hell yes. I’ve been experiencing performance issues a bit lately but have been blessed to have partners who don’t care and are happy to take a break when needed. I always am able to get hard again and deliver. And I love making them cum with my hands and mouth so I’m not worried about PIV being the only event.
You are a saint. He needed you and you helped him. I also have issues and know I’ve missed out because of that. Didn’t want to be humiliated so I wouldn’t pursue the women I wanted to be with. We need more people like you.
Dear fucking god, this makes me miss good sex and sensuality soooo much. I really need to find it again, but fuck it’s difficult.
You’re an absolute angel. I wish more women could be like you, but alas.
I hope we can all find someone as sincere as you.
Very kind of you
Speaking about these things can… help loads
You have such a beautiful heart. It’s a huge reason I follow you. Thank you for sharing this!
You’re a wonderful woman!
You are a gift from God.. and what he’s going through from that shaming is pretty similar to the anxiety attack a lot of girls have when they are first naked with a guy. Not that all those leading thoughts spinning around in your head if does he see my stretch marks does he hate that one boob is bigger than the other and you feel as though you are being scanned and judged and you cock block yourself you put up a mental block of anxiety that blocks all the endorphins that allow you to have an orgasm. But if that guy makes you feel comfortable and secure and he tells you that he licked those stretch marks simply because THEY ARE YOURS….. That man just knocked down all the walls and that girl is going to feel comfortable and secure and she’s going to get off like nobody’s business and that’s exactly what you did for this man and you should get a gold star for that one
..
This is a really nice story.
How did things go from there?
A little empathy, compassion and understanding can go a long way to being a confidence booster in any situation. Especially when it comes to ask things sexual.
Hope all women are like you. Some women forgets that some men have thin self esteems and we are also human beings that wants to feel loved by someone.
Pass this along… “I’m married, and my wife have a great sexual relationship. Sometimes when we’re having sex, I lose my erection. Sometimes, I’m close to orgasm way sooner than she is. Sometimes, she comes quickly and I don’t orgasm. And sometimes we orgasm together, and sometimes neither of us do. I want to please her, and she wants to please me. As long as we’re both enjoying it, it’s all good. That’s the important part.”
This was amazing of u!! I have similar fears since im 22 and .. Well .. i still have my v card .. so yeah.. that’s that
Are u for hire?
Thank you for sharing
Thank you so very much, light at the end of the tunnel maybe xx
My bf had a period of like, more frequent ED due to what we figured was mostly stress pretty early on (although he has a pretty unpredictable orgasming rate anyway). We agreed on a no PIV for a bit and that really took the pressure off of sex!! Doggy is his favourite position too so after a few weeks he just *had* to hit it from the back and that was the end of that 🤭
I don’t have a penis but I do have ADHD and sometimes get distracted during sex even when I’m enjoying it, so truly i would have to be a hypocrite to judge a guy for his body and brain not responding ideally to simulation haha.
The world needs more women like you. Great story.
Another option is using roman, for ED. I was given medication for ED and it has changed my life completely
You are a queen among peasants. Not something I struggle with, but your selflessness probably dramatically improved that guys life. You are a shiny example of what people should aspire to be for each other! Way to be awesome!
I’ll add to this that orgasming doesn’t have to cum from PiV. There are hands, oral, toys. If there are some ED or premature ejaculation issues, there are always other ways to enjoy each others bodies. If you cum too soon, you can still please her other ways. If he can’t stay hard, a BJ or HJ or vibrator can still likely achieve orgasm even on a semi erect cock. Same goes if she finishes too soon for him. Think outside the box, and don’t let an erection or lack thereof stop you from achieving pleasure. 😉
Thanks for sharing. Happened me before with a previous partner and wish she had the same reaction. 😅
Thank you so much for sharing this!
I’ve been fortunate to have a string of casual partners who’ve been understanding and caring, and it makes such a difference. That said, there are some women who do need extensive penetration and it can be intimidating when you just know you’re unable to provide that. For a woman who requires lots of stimulation for a long time to get off, it’s can be difficult to understand that a guy might be desperate not to cum, that managing to have sex and not cum could be a victory.
The other painful thing, apart from any humiliation (real or imagined) is that sex is a form of personal expression and PE or ED kill that. They’re incredibly oppressive for the sufferer.
These things need to be talked about more. Thank you for spreading some love.
You are an angel on earth. We need more people like you