*I wrote a basic blowjob how-to a while back ([here](https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ooy3ud/basic_blowjob_howto_mf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)) and always meant to follow it up with some “advanced” moves. Disclaimer that not everyone likes everything and it’s always good to ask your partner what he likes or give a heads up before trying something new. Also I’m not an expert, so give me your best tips or correct me if I’m wrong!*
So, you’ve gotten good at giving head. Your partner is happy, you’re happy. But maybe you feel the itch to go even farther, try something new. In the last how-to I described how important foreplay is to a blowjob. That still applies. Do all those steps, and then do these.
Deepthroating is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of sucking dick. Once you’ve mastered that you’ve basically done your dissertation and earned your PhD. Some people can do it easily. Other people, like me, have to practice for a long time to get it. Even now, after years of practice, it still doesn’t come easy. Thankfully, I’ve always had partners eager to help me with my practice. If you don’t have a partner, or want to surprise him with this, a dildo can help you with this skill.
Start by getting his dick nice and wet. Drooling on it is my personal favorite. In my experience (most, not all) guys love that visual. Sitting upright between his legs, let some saliva fall onto his cock slowly. Use one hand to stroke his shaft firmly and slowly, and the other to massage his balls. Once he’s all sloppy (and I mean sloppy enough that your spit tickles his balls and puddles on the bed) you’re ready.
The easiest way to deepthroat for me is getting into a 69 position where you’re on top. If you do partake in 69, the distraction of the pleasure between your legs may also help distract from the unpleasant parts of act you’re about to do. I’m sure for some people this helps, but I’m a purist. I get pleasure from sucking dick and don’t want to be distracted, so I prefer to kneel to the side of his head and tell him not to touch. Or you can be a tease and hover over his head. Knowing your man and what visuals he prefers (ass vs pussy) can help with choosing.
The reason I find this position easiest is because (most) dicks naturally point upwards and curve up. Getting into this position means the curve and angle of his dick matches your throat. This is important when you’re learning to deepthroat. Next you’re going to want to suck his dick like normal, but go as deep as you can every time. The easiest way for me to get past my gag reflex is to pause for a second at the bottom of every stroke and hold him as deep as I can in my mouth. This got me used to having something near my throat.
Remind yourself you’re not dying. You’re not going to suffocate. You are in control. In this case it’s mind over matter. Remind yourself why you want to learn to deepthroat. You’re going to gag, you’re going to cry a little bit, you’re going to make some pretty unattractive noises. All of this is normal. In the future, you may even want to play up these noises and put on some cheap mascara to get the runny mascara look if that’s what he’s into.
The next step is to figure out where the dick has to go to get into your throat. This was always the hardest part for me. I don’t really have any tips for this, but you’ll find it. It’s probably going to be the spot that makes you gag the hardest. Focus on relaxing your throat, and then push just a little harder. Once it’s in you should feel it. It’ll make a little “pop” and then slide right in. You’re going to immediately take it back out and gag. Maybe you’ll even throw up a little bit (I’ve done that). Honestly, if you ever do throw up while deepthroating, swallow it back down and keep going. He won’t notice.
I do recommend not eating a couple hours before this and deepthroating at times of days you know you have a lessened gag reflex. For example, I never deepthroat in the mornings. I have a very sensitive gag reflex right after I wake up. I also never deepthroat after eating meals.
Now you just need to practice this over and over. You won’t be able to breathe when he’s in your throat. That’s okay. The most important thing is not to panic. Time your breaths with the strokes. Breathe when you take him out of your mouth. Over time it’ll become a habit and you’ll be able to go faster and for longer. But at first if you can just deepthroat a couple times during the blowjob, that is more than enough! I usually just deepthroat a couple times at the end of a blowjob as a finishing act. You don’t have to go all out every time!
Consistency is key here. I find between relationships I always lose this skill, so practice it as often as you can. Some other positions to try are laying with your head off the edge of the bed and kneeling. Laying on your back with your head off the bed is easiest way to get his dick in your throat, but I find it’s the scariest because you’re no longer in control. Place your hands on his thighs and guide his movements. Make sure he’s being steady and consistent. Come up with a safe word (for me it’s slapping his thigh). Remember to breathe and stay relaxed. The most important thing is to convince your brain you’re not dying, and not to panic.
Kneeling is fun because he can facefuck you. This is definitely one of my favorite “advanced” blowjob moves. It’s easy, you don’t have to do anything besides staying calm. Tell him to grab your hair and use that as handles. Or he can straddle your face when you’re laying face up on the bed and facefuck you that way. Bonus points if he uses the headboard as leverage. Experiment with different levels of pillows under your head and neck to find the most comfortable angle.
Another fun trick during a blowjob is to play with yourself. You can do this is any position. Doing it when you’re laying on your back with your head off the edge of the bed means he’ll see all of it. Don’t forget to play with your boobs too! When you’re kneeling between his legs on the bed you can grind on his thigh to get off. When he’s fucking your face you can reach down to play with yourself. He may want you to ask permission to touch yourself ahead of time, or maybe he likes being surprised with that move. Moan while you touch yourself. Make eye contact and beg for release with your eyes. Ask for permission to cum. To add another level to it: get a remote vibrator and have him control it while you suck him off!
See part two for tips on anal play during a blowjob :)
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/z34mn9/advanced_blowjob_howto_mf_oral_deepthroat_18_pt1