To start with, I should tell you this is not a sex-heavy post, more of an update on where my adventure of self-discovery has taken me in the last few weeks. Short story long: it’s a bit of a disappointment right now. If you’d rather read about my happier sex stuff, you should start at the beginning of this saga: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/
Anyway, it’s been a while since I posted. No real reason, except that I feel that I’ve kind of exhausted my real life experiences, so there’s not much to say. I’ve tried writing erotic fiction but it feels… unreal. I’ve also tried chatting with other people on reddit, I hoped that having someone to spur me on or help me explore my sexual self would help me scratch that itch, the itch that exploring my affair with Keith helped scratch. But this experience has been discouraging, to be honest. I did have one very hot exchange with a lady that turned into pretty filthy dirty talk–not what I was there to do, but I got into it in a big way. But just that one time. Otherwise, my experience chatting on reddit has been an eye opener, but not really in a good way.
Maybe I’m naive, but I’ve been surprised to find how similar so many people are on reddit. Is reddit actually just 5 people pretending to be 1000s? Or maybe I’m just in the wrong place: I just want to talk about sex with people who have regular sex lives. I don’t mean sexless lives. But I also don’t mean people who have regular orgies, or who love watching their husbands fuck their friends, and all that. I guess there are actually people who live this lifestyle–but is everyone on reddit really?
I just wanted to share what’s on my mind and have someone to listen to me, give me advice and ideas, and I would do the same for them. Instead, my attempts to find a new outlet for my sexual mind were depressingly the same.
First, the men. Most of them just don’t seem to know how to actually start a conversation. Either that or they don’t care enough to try. In either case, I ignored the vast majority of messages that came my way. About half the messages were guys saying “hey” or “hi sexy” or something like that. No way to respond, no reason to try. A whole bunch tell me they’re 19, or 21, or whatever. But I state in my post that I don’t chat with anyone under 29. Too picky? Maybe. But that’s my limit. Then there are the guys who think opening with “I’m going to choke you with my 9.5” cock” is an intriguing or interesting conversation starter. That’s the nicer version. To the guys who open with threats of violence, violation or degradation I say: learn to talk to people, grow up, get therapy, get out of the basement.
Conclusion? The very few men that stand out, the ones I’m likely to respond to, are the ones that were actually curious about me and specific. They put work into the first message. They probably realize that as soon as a woman posts a chat request, she is buried in dozens of responses right away. So the more work is put into actually trying to get a conversation started, the better. This means doing more than just asking easy questions. Say something that’ll make ME want to ask some questions!
Now the women: to be honest, I have no way to know if the people I was chatting with were women. Sometimes I was pretty sure they were, sometimes it wasn’t clear. Sometimes I thought so at first but gradually saw that I was wrong. Who knows.
What kind of depressed me is how a conversation that started well so often ends up going to the same predictable places. We have a good connection good, we’re exploring each other’s thoughts, then there’s this moment when it seems the other person gets impatient and brings up one of the three following topics: “are you into anal?”, “I love watching my husband with other girls” and “I like MFMs with men who are not my husband.”
Now, I believe that some woman do enjoy these things, but I find it weird that every one I’ve chatted with ends up leading to one or more of these topics. Is it because they actually like these things, or is it what reddit/porn leads them to think they should say?
I must admit I get discouraged and after my last attempt I kind of promised myself to stop trying. On the other hand, I’ve found it quite empowering to post my own experiences on reddit, and I’m surprised it’s so hard to find people who are on the same wavelength. I’m sure I’m not alone, but it can feel that way.
Am I barking up the wrong tree here? I’m trying hard to find some supportive, exciting friends here, it’s a way of keeping my sexual mind engaged and satisfied–or I thought it would be. I find myself wanting to have a meaningless encounter irl, at least it’d be something. I won’t, though. I didn’t even think about it when I was travelling last month. Well, ok, I thought about it, but I didn’t do it.
I would appreciate the wisdom of those who found something meaningful in this weird world of reddit. Or am I asking too much?
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/yndc9b/f_i_f46_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it