Sex, Drugs, and the End of Something [GROUP] [M34F33_M34F32]

Prologue: Though I’m an occasional redditor, I am not a lurker on this sub, and thus I can’t be sure whether this is the sort of content that is welcome here. It’s also capital-L Long, and a bit of a slow burn. But then if I’m being honest, I’m writing this post as much for my own catharsis as I am for your pervy entertainment. Also, while I pledge to do my best to provide the sort of details that cultivate a literary experience, readers should assume I have exercised editorial license with regard to particularities that might reveal the identities of the parties involved. You never know who’s reading…

—

Earlier this year, while standing amidst a sea of people at the main stage of a major music festival, my [34] friend Matt [34] told me he was going to die. The music didn’t stop, but everything inside me went silent. I swiveled to look at him, and as he fought back tears as I could feel my own coming. I tried to summon the right words. When I couldn’t, we stood there together for what seemed like a century, with that god-awful fate filling the space between us, until I could muster the only thing that made sense: “I love you, man.”

But this story doesn’t start there, of course. Shit, maybe stories never really start at all. Maybe there’s only a single story, always growing out of one thing and into something else. I don’t know, I’m not that smart.

But anyway.

The Sparknotes go like this: Matt and I have been friends for many years. I won’t describe the origin of the relationship or its progression, but we have become something akin brothers, or maybe cousins. Which is to say we’ve been through a lot of shit together — good, bad, and bizarre. The kind of stuff that never leaves you. We’re also both incredibly fortunate to be married to amazing women. And my wife, Liz [33], and Matt’s wife, Kacey [32], have formed a close bond independent of their husbands. If you were to simultaneously slander and compliment the four of us, you might say we’re the sort of well-adjusted, yuppie-adjacent people you’d see smiling earnestly and clinking bottles in a Bud Light commercial. We have enjoyed many trips and outings with our larger, extended friend group, but we’ve had even more adventures between just us four, and with that comes a level of familiarity, comfort, and affection that, as most readers will know, cannot be manufactured.

Now, there are three factors that serve as the contextual substrate of this story. The keyboard sleuths among you will likely use these as data points to predict the forthcoming narrative arc. But this is a porn-y reddit post, not a John le Carré mystery thriller. Therefore:

1. Liz and I were high school sweethearts. We went our separate ways for college and our early professional lives, but we reconnected in our late 20s, and here we are. For reference, she’s a 5’3″, slim brunette with fair skin, ample B cups, and a cute little butt. Not an athlete per se, but she works out and eats well to maintain a quintessential girl-next-door aesthetic. Think Kiera Knightly, more in vibe than the doppelgänger sense. Liz is just as sexy to me now as she was when we were kids, and we still fuck like teenagers when adult life doesn’t interfere. However… about three years ago, she drunkenly confessed she felt guilty that she was the only woman I’d ever slept with. I told her she was all I wanted or needed, but she insisted that she wanted me to be able to experience other women, that I deserved it. She also confessed that there had long been bisexual tendencies lying dormant in her that she wanted to explore. Many discussions followed that one, but eventually we opened our marriage to intermittently include women. Sometimes full-on threesomes, sometimes Liz just watches. (I may recount some of these encounters in the future if there is interest.) And though I made reciprocal offers as a gesture of fairness, she has never expressed the desire to be with another man. Matt and Kacey are well aware of our exploits, and it comes up in jest now and again, but there’s never been any overtures or cross-pollination there, so to speak.

2. In my mid-to-late 20s, my friend group began (responsibly) experimenting with drugs. Not the meth or opioid variety, but psychotropic substances. I don’t know why, exactly. It just sort of happened. Anyway, MDMA (aka Molly) became an indulgence a few times a year. Matt and I introduced our respective wives to it, and they have since enjoyed many rolls with us. In big groups, in small groups, at concerts, at home. The point being, we’re all experienced with the drug and the myriad effects it is liable to produce.

3. Three years ago, totally out of the blue, Matt was diagnosed with a virulent medical condition. He has since undergone countless treatments, and his winding road has been laden with victories and setbacks. A lesser man, myself included, could not likely abide the physical, psychological, and emotional toll. But Matt just gritted his teeth and took whatever came through the door next. Arguably the most inspiring shit I’ve ever witnessed. Last summer, after a particularly positive stretch, Matt’s condition suddenly worsened. His doctor immediately prescribed an aggressive treatment, a side effect of which was the inability to achieve an erection. After a few weeks, Matt confided in me that this was the worst period of his entire affliction. He’s always been an especially virile dude; in fact, his impressive penis is sort of a running joke in our circle of friends — guy’s got a hammer. Liz and I have heard Matt and Kacey engaging in vigorous sex on a handful of occasions, and it was excruciating for him not be able to be intimate with his wife. He said Kacey was nothing but supportive, but nevertheless he felt like he was depriving her of something.

—

Last fall, Matt proposed that the four of us book a trip to a big American city for this year to attend a popular music festival. There was a ton of anticipation for this festival on the group text thread, and when the weekend finally arrived, we checked into a hip 2-bedroom Airbnb near the venue and festooned ourselves in funky outfits. The first night of the festival, we each took an edible and had a couple drinks throughout the show, which yielded a pleasant but fairly mild buzz.

Midway through the last set with a day of travel behind us, we decided to head back to the Airbnb to rest up for Day 2. We bid each other good night, and both couples retreated to our respective bedrooms. But Liz and I were both feeling a little frisky, so we enjoyed a quick but passionate romp. Nothing unusual, and neither of us were terribly concerned about making too much noise.

The next morning, I staggered out to the kitchen to make a coffee wearing only a pair of shorts. Kacey, to my surprise, was already out there making one for herself in shorts and a tank top. (As a quick sidebar, I will describe Kacey: she’s about 5’6, dirty blonde hair, former-college-athlete-turned-Peloton-junkie with a muscular but feminine physique. She’s got perky A cups and an ass tighter than a drum. I’ve always seen a bit of Rachel McAdams in her. Also, it’s not unusual for the four of us to be scantily clad in front of each other; not in a sexual way, but more of the disinhibition of close friends).

So I flipped the coffee maker on, and without looking up from her phone Kacey asked, “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah, pretty well, actually,” I answered.

“After that? I bet.”

The joke elicited a slightly flustered chuckle from me. Kacey lifted her head momentarily, winked at me, then went back to scrolling whatever app she was on. I plopped down on the couch to relax with my coffee when it occurred to me that it may have been insensitive for Liz and I to indiscreetly fuck under the same roof as Matt and Kacey in light of their situation. But I tried to convince myself I was overthinking it.

In the late afternoon, the four of us packed up for the night ahead, the key accoutrements being capsules of MDMA. We planned on ingesting what we would consider a medium-sized dose, broken into two parts — 150mg for the ladies and 200mg for the fellas. For the uninitiated, it is worth noting that MDMA is a vasoconstrictor, which means it’s nearly impossible for men to get hard under the drug’s influence. Since Liz and I both tend to get horned up during our Molly extravaganzas, I recently started incorporating Cialis into the party stack (a small dose before dropping followed by another small dose later in the evening as sexy-time approaches). This has worked remarkably well and has made for some mind-blowing experiences. Some of you degenerates may be able to confirm as much.

We settled in at the venue, and the wives were looking dynamite, pairing provocative, borderline-slutty garb with their typical infectious smiles. They were on the receiving end of more than a few looks as we roamed the festival grounds. When the sun began its descent, the four of us huddled up in the crowd at one of the stages and each of us swallowed our first pill. Forty-five minutes or so later the familiar sensations manifested: stomach butterflies, increased heart rate, music reverberating through our bodies, dilated pupils, colors refracting at the edges of our vision. And, of course, the burgeoning euphoria.

Liz, Matt, Kacey, and I took off like rockets, and that incredible sense of one-ness ensued. One-ness with the music, with the crowd, with the universe. We bobbed and danced as the sweat began to bead at our hairlines. We all became predictably chatty, and soon there was a parade of hugs and I-love-yous. Not just good vibes, as the kids say, but the very best of vibes.

About an hour and a half into our roll, Kacey had to pee, and Liz volunteered to accompany her to the porta-potties through the mass of humanity. The sky was dark but singed with lasers, and suddenly Matt got all quiet. Then he dropped the nuke.

“Can I tell you something?” he said.

“Course.”

“No one knows except Kacey and my parents… the treatment isn’t working. This is the end of the road. Doctor says I have three months, six if I’m lucky.”

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything. Eventually I told Matt I loved him and he said he loved me too. I then laid my hand on his shoulder and left it there.

“Awesome night so far, though, right?” he said, a smile breaking over his face.

“For sure.”

“There’s one other thing. I don’t know how to say it.”

“Just say it, dude. It’s all good, it’s only you and me.”

“This thing with the treatment, it’s been so long since Kacey and I had sex. It’s fucking brutal.”

“I can only imagine.”

“You and Liz, some of the stories you’ve told me…” he stammered. “Would you, uh… would you want to be with Kacey?”

I don’t know what my face looked like, but between the gravity of the implication and the drugs, I imagine it was rather cartoonish. In truth, I wasn’t even exactly sure what he was asking.

“Are you being serious?” I pressed.

“Dead serious.”

“You mean, like, me and Liz with Kacey?”

“Well Kacey isn’t bi, but she wouldn’t mind if Liz watched if Liz wanted to.”

“Wait, did you already talk to her about this?”

“Yes. She wants to do it, but she’s embarrassed and didn’t want to be around when I asked you.”

“Fuck, man,” I said, floored by the whole thing.

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s fine. I’m just, I don’t know. It feels like a betrayal or something.”

“Not at all, man. You know me, I’m not into this kind of thing. But things change, and I want it for her. I wouldn’t ask anyone but you.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, but I told him I would need to talk to Liz, which was obvious. So when the ladies returned, I recommended we separate as couples in the crowd to dance. Off we went, and after swaying behind Liz for a few minutes, I told her what Matt had said. She turned to face me, stunned. It was difficult to tell if she was put off or intrigued or some combination of the two. But we talked through it as the music blared, and eventually she asked me if I wanted to. I told her yes and no, and we both remembered that when we opened up the relationship, we were careful not to shit where we ate.

Liz then turned back around, grinding into me while dancing for a few minutes before pulling my into hers as she whispered: “I think you should fuck Kacey.” My cock immediately twitched and I kissed Liz’s neck. I asked if she was certain. She said she was. Then I asked if she wanted to watch, to which she replied she couldn’t decide. I don’t know if it was the unbridled generosity produced by the MDMA, but I asked Liz if she wanted to be with Matt. Another stunner.

“I thought he couldn’t…?” Liz said.

“He can’t. But you could do other things.”

“I mean, I don’t know. I’m not necessarily against it, but… are you sure?”

“I’m not sure about any of it,” I said. “But the guy is gonna die.”

Liz’s eyes popped bigger than they already were, and I realized I’d let Matt’s prognosis slip. I then had to spill the rest of the story, which landed hard on Liz, especially in our cognitive state. All the sudden, though, there was a change in her demeanor, and the prospect of this — whatever it was — seemed to strike her as more appealing. From my perspective, Liz is the absolute best, and my heart was full for Matt, and I didn’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be able to fool around even if they couldn’t go all the way. Ultimately, we decided we’d let it play out naturally, with no hard boundaries, and just revel in the moment with two of our closest friends. I suggested we go find them so that I could confer with Matt while Liz talked with Kacey.

The ladies had scurried off about 20 yards away from Matt and I at the main stage, and I filled him in on my conversation with Liz. He kind of rebuffed, saying that he didn’t need any reciprocation from Liz, that it wasn’t about that at all. I told him I wanted him to enjoy her. Make out with her, go down on her, let her touch your dick. It was all good. I could tell that excited him, especially since he hadn’t anticipated it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Liz and Kacey talking close and smiling and eventually hugging, which was a relief. Matt and I approached them, and I suggested we all take our second pill and start the foreplay — dancing with each other’s spouse. Everyone kind of giggled, then after a big group hug, we swallowed our second dose and paired off again away from each other.

Never in my life had I been nervous around Kacey, but I’m told there’s a first time for everything. Neither of us knew what to say, so we just danced and smiled and lightly touched for a while (I’d put a hand on her hip, or she’d take my arm and drape it around her). It’s hard to gauge the timeline, but it wasn’t long before I felt the second rush coming from the drug.

“Oh, fuck,” I said with a deep breath, feeling the come-up.

“You’re rolling again?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” she said with a seductive smile.

The dancing grew more sensual; I raked my fingers up the length of her thighs, then up her torso over her rib cage. Kacey let out a subtle moan, and I felt my cock twitch again, which she noticed against her ass. We kept at it that way for a while, lost in the crowd and in the anticipation of what was to come. The drug killed all inhibitions, and at one point, feeling particularly bold, I whispered into her ear: “You’re so fucking sexy.” Kacey tilted her head back toward me, her hair brushing my face. I breathed her in as I laid my hand over her midriff. It was electric.

I managed to ingest the second dose of Cialis without Kacey noticing, and after scanning the crowd for a few seconds, I saw Matt and Liz sharing an intimate dance not far away, which made me strangely happy. The four of us reconvened for the final set of the night. There was no weirdness at all; just four friends in the throes of euphoria.

We bounced from the show a few minutes early to beat the line for an uber. During the walk, I pulled Matt aside, having just realized something.

“Hey man, I don’t have a condom.”

“It’s fine, dude,” Matt responded. “We trust you guys.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve told you Kacey’s a talker, right” Matt went on. “I don’t want you to be reserved or feel like you can’t talk back. No bullshit — I want you guys to be free together. Do and say whatever feels natural. I want her to enjoy herself, and I know you’ll treat her right. She’s incredible, you’ll see.”

Shortly thereafter we were in the living room of the Airbnb, pouring a little wine and chatting while listening to music. We were still feeling the MDMA hard, but the weight of the scenario was undeniable, and the awkwardness began to creep in. As luck would have it, Liz’s comedic timing is impeccable, and she set everything in motion perfectly when the conversation found a lull.

“Hey Matt, why don’t you take me back to your room and show me that big ‘ole dick of yours.”

I spit out the wine in my mouth from laughing so hard, and Matt and Kacey howled as well. Liz then grabbed Matt’s hand, and as she led him away, she looked back at me and Kacey and said, “You two misbehave yourselves.”

A bedroom door shut behind them. Kacey and I looked at each other, and without any words, went straight to the other bedroom. I immediately closed the door, pinned Kacey up against it, and kissed her passionately. Her mouth and tongue were hot, I remember that, but everything began to sort of scramble in my brain. The drugs, the circumstances. It was overwhelming.

I soon brought her over to the bed and pushed her down on her back. I then shimmied her shorts down her legs, which revealed a finely-trimmed, light brown landing strip adorning the pinkest pussy I’d ever seen. Kacey asked if we should shower first, but I told her I wanted to taste the sweat on her. In less than a second my tongue was working her labia. There was a sweet scent intermingling with a muskier one, which drove me wild. I ran a hand up her tight abs and under her tank top and took one of her small tits in my hand, pinching her nipple. Kacey moaned and I ate her like it was my last meal before lethal injection. I must have been down there with her legs over my shoulders for twenty minutes, circling her clit and dipping my tongue inside her. At one point I pulled back, lifted her legs and ass up off the bed, and tongued her asshole. She went wild.

Kacey eventually hopped up and pushed me down on the bed and declared: “My turn.” I’ve never lost my pants quicker, and the next thing I knew she had my cock halfway down her throat. The Cialis was clutch. A boner didn’t arrive on-demand, but it built gradually — and strong. Kacey, for her part, gave super-attentive head. Different than Liz and maybe not quite as good, but more thorough. She licked my balls and teased the tip with her tongue and used her hands aggressively. What was really amazing was the eye contact she made with me. We must have stared at each other for two consecutive minutes while she bobbed up and down; there was a seriously primal intensity to it.

Eventually we both knew it was time, and Kacey instinctively mounted me, grabbed my cock, and lowered herself onto it deliberately. We moaned in harmony. She was tighter than I expected, given Matt’s size. Not quite as tight as Liz, but definitely the wettest pussy I’ve had the pleasure of sampling. It was bananas, really. She rode me like a fucking rodeo queen while we interlocked our fingers and kissed. I gripped her ass, which was very muscular, and spanked her a few times as she bounced.

Then — we heard a noise coming from the adjacent room. It was Liz groaning. Kacey and I caught eyes and giggled.

“I think my husband is eating your wife’s pussy,” Kacey said.

“I think you’re probably right.”

“Umm, did I just feel you get a little harder…?”

“I don’t know…”

“Uh huh. I think you liked hearing someone else make Liz squeal.”

“Come here,” I said as I cupped Kacey’s ass with one and snatched the back of her neck with the other, then pulled her down to me and started thrusting hard, eventually pumping as hard as I could.

“Oh, fuck yes!” she cried. “Keep going, you’re gonna make me cum.”

I complied, and only a few pumps later she was moaning and quivering on top of me. It was unreal.

But Kacey didn’t miss a beat; we slowed down for a few seconds before she hopped off me, revealing a thick coat of cream on my dick, which she immediately devoured clean. Matt had told me she possessed a freaky streak, but I guess it always seemed abstract somehow. In real time, however, it was jarring. Awesome, but jarring.

I positioned myself on top of her in missionary, and she pulled my cock for a minute while we kissed. When I pulled my face off of hers, Kacey spit into her hand, then reached back down and kept stroking.

“I want you as hard as possible,” she said.

“Getting there,” I replied, which was the truth.

She guided me inside her, and as the tip breached her opening and I inched my way in, she stared into my eyes, straight faced, and said: “This is your pussy tonight. Take it however you want, okay?”

That sent a charge down my spine, and I immediately started thrusting away at a controlled, rhythmic pace. My memory gets a little hazy here, but I remember how good Kacey looked — statuesque, even — lying on her back with her little eraser-sized nipples saluting the ceiling. I gently wrapped my hand around her throat at one point, and she mirrored it, doing the same to me, cutting off the slightest bit of oxygen, which I loved.

After a stretch on top of her I remember becoming suddenly imbued with an animalistic urge to fuck her from behind. I pulled out, flipped her around and propped her up on her knees, and drove my cock as far inside her as it would go. She grunted as I grabbed a fistful of her hair and started pounding. I got lost in the rhythm, the sound of her cheeks slapping against me, the swishing sounds of her wetness. It was all surreal; the woman was born for championship sport-fucking.

I also recall just staring into her asshole for some period of time. It was like looking into the eye of a hurricane, or some faraway galaxy in the cosmos. I remember thinking how pink and tiny it was, just like her pussy and nipples. I delicately dripped a little spit into it and used my thumb to rub around the rim of her asshole in a circular motion. Kacey moaned and turned back to look at me: “Did Matt tell you I like that?” I began to fuck her harder, and she soon reached back and clinched my thigh with her fingernails and said she was about to cum and then her legs began to shake and her whole body convulsed and she hollered like a feral dog.

When Kacey was done spasming, I pulled out of her to discover that she had again coated my cock with a varnish of white cream. She then ordered me to get on top of her — I was happy to oblige. I plunged back inside her and kissed her hard. When my lips left hers, she told me she wanted to make me cum. I briefly explained to her that while Cialis worked wonders for blood flow, I had never been able to cum while high on MDMA. She grinned, reached down and cupped my balls and said, “Let’s just see about that. We’re not in a rush, are we?”

I smiled and got to thrusting. As good as it had felt all along, and as much as I wanted to, I was nearly certain that I wouldn’t be able to climax. Perhaps some of you gentlemen reading can attest.

But the entire dynamic turned on its axis when I was back on top of Kacey. Her dirty talk had already been wild, but she dialed it up to eleven, just like Matt had foreshadowed earlier in the night. So there I was, sliding in and out of Kacey with my face only a couple inches above hers. We held a deep stare, our pupils still like saucers, and I could see the wheels turning in her mind.

“Do you fuck Liz like this?” Kacey asked.

I didn’t respond, but Kacey stayed with it.

“Do you ever think about me when you fuck her?”

“Yes…”

“Mmm, good. I think about you sometimes while Matt is inside me.”

I pumped a little faster.

“Tell me about Liz’s pussy…” Kacey said.

“It’s really tight–”

“Fuck, that’s hot. I bet you make her cum with this thick cock.”

I then nuzzled my face into the supple flesh between her neck and collarbone as I worked in and out of her.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered. “Your pussy is the wettest I’ve ever had.”

Kacey closed her eyes and moaned and bucked into me. I kissed her deep and grabbed a handful of her ass before she pulled away and said, “Look at me.” She gazed up at me and said very matter of fact: “You know we love you guys, right? Me and Matt.”

“Yeah,” I responded.

“You and Liz are like family.”

“We feel the same way,” I told her.

“I feel so close to you,” she said as she touched my face with her hand. “Fuck me like you love me, honey. This is your pussy tonight.”

I could hardly process what I was hearing. I remember feeling this strange amalgam of profound arousal and shame, like I had committed some grave transgression against Liz or Matt or both. But in that moment, and not just because of the drugs, I did love Kacey, and I felt close to her, too. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced such a raw and unusual intimacy, and then — suddenly — I felt the flicker of a familiar sensation, like I might cum…

I picked up my pace, driving in and out of Kacey as deep as I could. She intuited a change in me, and she became this encouraging, almost maternal figure, which sounds a lot weirder as I write this than it did that night.

“That’s it, honey,” she said as I worked her. “Just like that. I want you to cum for me.”

I pounded even harder, grabbing Kacey’s ass with both hands and rounding my back for leverage.

“Fuck, I love this pussy,” I told her.

“It’s all yours, baby. You own it.”

It was unmistakable now — an orgasm was building. My balls began to vaguely ache as I humped with abandon.

“I think I’m gonna cum,” I warned.

“Mmm, cum hard for me.”

“Where should I do it?” I asked.

“Right where you are, baby. Blow it deep inside me.”

And with that everything seemed to go white in my field of vision, and my pace slowed considerably. Then I pressed my chest onto hers, and almost reflexively I slipped my middle finger inside her asshole, and with two more half strokes I unloaded like fucking musket fire. There must have been a dozen spasms, spraying what felt like a gallon inside Kacey while she pulled me into her and squeezed her vagina around my dick.

I don’t think I moved for like five minutes. I just lay on Kacey’s chest, breathing heavy as I wilted inside her. I pulled out and a string of cum followed. We both laughed, still high and trying to process what had transpired.

After cleaning myself off in the bathroom, I put my ear to the door of the other bedroom but didn’t hear a peep. I ever-so-carefully cracked the door open to find Matt and Liz passed out in bed together. When I reported back to Kacey, she beckoned me to come lie next to her, and we talked, strangely, about random shit until we fell asleep.

—

The next morning, the four of us showered (individually) and went to brunch before heading home. We agreed that we should schedule a time to talk as a group about the previous night, that we should just try to make it through the hangover and the next week. Later that night, Liz and I had an intense sex session, but there wasn’t really any weirdness over the whole thing, and the same was true when I called Matt a few days later, which turned into a conference call with Liz and Kacey. We chalked it up to a one-time thing that we would always have but never do again. It was sort of romantic, actually.

—

Matt passed away last week.

I’m gutted, just like everyone who knew him. I hadn’t really thought about the whole escapade I just detailed until a few days ago. And now, in retrospect and in the aftermath of Matt’s passing, I honestly don’t know how I feel, or how I should feel. I try to tell myself that everything that happened, happened out of love. And I believe that, at least to some degree. But did I take advantage of Matt’s impending death? Did Kacey? I don’t know. Probably never will. But that’s life for you, isn’t it?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/y400je/sex_drugs_and_the_end_of_something_group_m34f33