People are always asking what my ex-wife looked like. I’ll tell you this, she was beautiful. Far out of my league. She was always the prettiest girl in the room. She turned heads. I saw the way the partners in the law firm looked at her. She was half-American and half-Indonesian (think Tia Carrere. Think of her Playboy shoot. That’s kind of what my ex-wife looked like. A vague resemblance, mostly in the face.) She had a dark complexion. Sexy, dark eyes. Long, dark hair that I loved. She was 5’ 5” and skinny. I could put my hands around her waist if I squeezed. She had a really nice ass, but I’m not an ass man.
I’m a breast man, and my ex-wife had large breasts. Beautiful D cups that overflowed every bra she wore. Full. Round. Firm. I loved to feel them pressed up against me when we had sex. I loved to watch them bounce when she was on top of me. Her nipples were fantastic! Dark. Pointy. Medium size areola. They were the perfect size for sucking. Rolling my tounge around. Because her breasts were heavy, they hung, which made her areola look long. They were probably two inched long and an inch wide. When her nipples were hard, you could see them through her shirt. (Don’t waste my time asking for pictures, because you’re not going to get them. And it pisses me off.)
She and I used to joke that she was so much prettier than I was that people probably thought she was with me for one of three reasons: (1) I had money (I didn’t), (2) I was good looking (I was handsome back then, but nothing to write home about, (3) I was hung like a horse (I wasn’t). I hadn’t thought about that in years. It came back to me as I was writing the previous paragraph. We used to laugh about all three of those, including the penis size one. I have a pretty specific memory about her laughing once or twice at that one. I just realized she was laughing about the size of my penis. In front of me. I think I finally have my answer. My ex-wife thought I had a small penis.
I love thinking about how other men fucked my wife better than I could. I love thinking about the fact that they had bigger, better cocks than I did. More than thinking about it, I love knowing it. I love not being able to deny it. I love having to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life. I even love knowing that will be true about any woman I sleep with in the future.
When I met my future wife, she had only slept with one other man, one time. He beat me to it by a couple weeks. Dammit! ;-) I was her second sexual experience that involved intercourse. When I met her, she was 18 and about six months out of high school. I was a dirty old man who was in his last year of law school.
That means that for the first year we were together, she really had no idea what sex with other men was like. She had nothing to compare me to. She didn’t know whether my dick was big or small compared to other men. She didn’t know whether sex with me was as good as it got, or whether it could be much better with someone else.
But, of course, I asked her to sleep with other men because the thought of it turned me on. That was probably a mistake. That was when she found out what sex with other men was like. That’s when she finally had something to compare me to. Given the small size of my penis, I know that when she started sleeping with other men, she realized how much smaller my penis was than theirs. She learned that almost every other man in the world has a larger penis than I do, and that bigger is better. On top of that, I suspect that once she found out how much better sex was with other men, she wouldn’t have stopped if I asked her to. That she was going to sleep with other men whether I wanted her to or not. That it was no longer in my control. I can’t shake the feeling that once she got started, she slept with other men, not because I asked her to, but because she wanted to. What I wanted no longer mattered to her.
I love thinking that the men who fucked my wife were better in bed than I was. It’s almost certainly true. I’m not that good in bed. I know that because she didn’t scream and moan and thrash about when we had sex. Her orgasms, if she had them, were small, disappointing ones. They didn’t overwhelm her and make her collapse in ecstasy. After we were done having sex, she would just get up and walk away without saying anything. On more than one occasion as I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep after we had sex, I heard her masturbating beside me because I hadn’t satisfied her. Because she hadn’t had an orgasm. Because I wasn’t good in bed.
The other reason I think it’s almost certainly true is how happy and satisfied she looked when she came home after having sex with another man. She never looked like that after having sex with me. She had a different look in her eyes after having sex with another man than after having sex with me. There was a different smile on her face. There was a different aura about her. She had a look of contentment after being with another man that she didn’t have after being with me. She always went to the guy’s house, so I never got to see with my own eyes what sex with another man was like for her, but from evidence I have, it was clearly better than with me. Of course, she never told me that, but I suspect she was sparing my feelings.
I get so turned on by this. Reflecting on the times she slept with other men. I asked her to cuckold me, and she did it. And she liked it. I could tell. And she agreed to do it without hesitation. I was a little taken aback by her eagerness to have sex with other men. I got the sense that she had wanted to for a long time, but didn’t know how to tell me. My guess is the reason she was so eager to sleep with other men when I brought it up is that she was unsatisfied with our sex life. She probably wanted something better than she was getting from me. Given the size of my penis, I have no doubt she wanted to sleep with men who had bigger dicks. That she wanted to find out what that was like. That she wanted to be filled up by other men because I didn’t fill her up. And I have no doubt that once she slept with a man with a bigger dick, she realized that bigger is better.
As I said a couple paragraphs above, I knew without her telling me that other men fucked her better than I did. I could tell by the way she talked about them when she got home. By the way she described sex with them. By the way she described what they did to her. Although she never said it out loud, I could always tell that she had been fucked better by another man than she would have been fucked by me. I always had the sense once she got home that she was really, really happy she had spent the night in his bed, not mine. Knowing that haunts me to this day. And it turns me on more than I can tell you. I fucking loved it! And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Even though she didn’t tell me, I hope she told the told the men she slept with. Both that their dick was bigger than mine and that they were better in bed than me. I hope they knew both those things. And I hope they laughed at me when she told them. I hope she thought it was funny to tell them those things. I hope they made jokes at my expense. I hope the two of them lay in bed after having sex and made fun of me. I hope the other men mocked me. Belittled me. I hope they knew how small my penis is. Maybe she told them I was neither a shower nor a groser. I hope they liked the fact that they were fucking my wife while I was sitting at home thinking about it and masturbating. I like the fact that she would spend all night in another man’s bed while I was sitting at home alone. It turned me on when I realized she didn’t care at all that she was spending the night with him and that I was all alone. I like the fact that it didn’t matter to her that I was waiting at home wondering when she would come home. I like the fact that she felt no need to hurry home to me. I like the fact that she took as long as she wanted and didn’t care how long she made me wait. I like the fact that she was his for the night, not mine. I liked the fact that she was in his bed, not mine. In his arms, not mine. I liked imagining her on her back, with her legs wrapped around another man’s waist pulling him deeper inside he. I like the fact that other men’s dicks penetrated her deeper than I ever did. I love that other men’s dicks touched parts of her that I couldn’t.
I love the fact that they fucked her better than I did. I like the fact that they fucked her harder than I did. That they fucked her longer than I did. That they fucked her several times in a night when I could only get it up once. That they gave my wife more pleasure than I could. That they gave her what she wasn’t getting at home from me. I like knowing she had unbelievable, earth shattering orgasms with other men. Ones I couldn’t give her. I like knowing that they made her weak in the knees. I like knowing that other men excited her more than I did. I like knowing that she wanted them more than me. I like knowing that given the choice, she would choose to sleep with them rather than me every day of the week, and twice on Sunday. I like the fact that she would lie in another man’s bed with him between her legs while she screamed his name. She certainly never screamed my name. I doubt she ever moaned my name. But I’m confident she screamed other men’s names when they fucked her.
I hope these other men told their friends they were fucking my wife. I hope everyone knew they were fucking my wife. I hope it wasn’t done in secret. I hope it was done out in the open. I hope it was common knowledge that that my wife cuckolded me. I hope everybody knew these men were cuckolding me. I hope they had a laugh at my expense. Thinking about that makes my dick hard.
Yes, she sometimes slept with other men with my consent. But I think it’s undeniable that a lot more guys fucked her than I ever knew about. That she fucked them without telling me and without my consent. Frankly, that she cheated on me many, many times. And I like that.
As I said, she was beautiful. Every man who met her wanted to sleep with her. I could see it in their eyes. I could tell by the way they acted around her. That’s the problem with marrying a woman much more attractive that you are. Every man she meets tries to steal her from you. They don’t care that she’s married to you. They want her and they’re going to try to have her, even though she has a husband. I was of no concern to them. When I watched them with her, I could tell they didn’t give a damn what I thought. I liked that.
When she and I were together, I was a corporate attorney in New York City who worked day and night. In the evenings while I was stuck in the office, she would hang out in bars with her girlfriends. I know other men hit on her in those bars because on the rare occasion I was with her, they did it right in front of me. They flirted with her even though I was watching. They didn’t care that I saw them doing it. They did it anyway. And I always saw her flirt with them back. Right in front of me. And she didn’t care that I saw her doing it. And it turned me on every single time.
In a similar vein, I know men tried to pick her up and take her home when she was in those bars without me because she told me they did. She told me men were constantly trying to seduce her. She told me they tried to get her to cheat on me. I’m almost certain they were successful. Without question, they were successful. I know in my heart of hearts, men picked her up, took her home, and fucked her while I was sitting in the office. Without a doubt, she cheated on me with them. I could always tell. Often when I would get home late at night, it was obvious she had been fucked by another man. I saw the satisfied look on her face. I saw the tussled hair and smeared lipstick. I could smell the sex. I could taste it when I went down on her. And I fucking loved it! It turns me on so much to think about that, even years later. I love that they got her to cheat on me. I love that she cheated on me with them. I still masturbate thinking about it. Hell, I’m masturbating right now.
It turns me on that her friends knew she cheated on me. That they would see her leave the bar with another man. I’m positive she told her friends how small my penis is. That she told her friends that all the other guys she slept with were bigger than I am. Much bigger. It turns me on so damn much that her friends knew that. I have no doubt she told her friends how much better the other men were in bed than I was. How much better they fucked her than I did. How they satisfied her in ways that I never did. How they made her cum and that I didn’t. That I didn’t compare to them in any way. And that it wasn’t even close. I know this because I could see it in her friends’ eyes when we got together. I saw them glancing at me and smirking. I saw them talking to each other with their hands over their mouths so I couldn’t tell what they were saying. It was obvious to me they were laughing at me behind my back. They really didn’t try to hide it from me. And I loved every minute of it! It made my dick hard every single time. To this day, I masturbate thinking about it.
I like the pain and humiliation of admitting all this on Reddit. I like the fact that you know all this about me. I like the fact that you know how much this turns me on. How badly I want it. I like the fact that you know I masturbate thinking about this. I like the fact that some of you probably laughed while you read this.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/y2od3t/cuckold_i_love_thinking_about_how_other_men