Bro… idk. This one gets weird. It’s not quite a funny story or particularly hot. You’re welcome to unpack this mess with me though…
It started out pretty normal. We were just really close best friends who loved each other. She was like… my favorite person in the whole world and I wanted to be around her all the time. And I thought she was beautiful and really cool.
And she said the same about me…
The truth is we were broke as fuck which led to us walking up to *that* line. We had a two bedroom but it didn’t make sense because I slept in her bed every night. We downgraded to a studio and sold my bed.
*We bought alcohol and drugs with the bed money.*
It was only natural for us to change in front of each other. Our closets just kind of melded into one, and we got ready together every morning and before we went out. Nudity just became a natural thing we stopped even acknowledging.
Then we started showering together… To save water. That’s literally what we said. Why would we shower apart when we could use half the water?
We um… shaved each other a couple of times. Some areas are hard to reach, ok? I’m sure straight girls do that all the time.
Once we were lying in bed, high AF, and she turns over and says, “Hey V, are you gay?”
I got very uncomfortable. “Why did you ask me that?”
“You hang out with lesbians a lot… And you were REALLY bummed last year when M disappeared.”
I started crying. “I do like girls. Boys too. I miss her a lot though. She still texts me and it’s really hard not to respond.”
She held me as I started bawling. “Y’all weren’t good for each other. You know that, right? I just always thought she was a mean friend. I get it now.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”
Then we made out.
See, we had made out before at parties, but rarely without an audience. Plus it felt… different.
She dried my tears with her hand and and then brought her lips to mine. My hand instinctively went to her hair and I pulled gently. It had been a while since I had been with a woman and it felt almost instinctive to press my body against hers.
She circled my mouth with her tongue and I moaned slightly. When her thigh moved in between my leg, we moved in unison, lightly dry humping until we were both panting.
Finally, I got too hot and had to pull away, but we held each other as we went to sleep.
Ok so the weird thing was that I actually immediately told my boyfriend about this. He had seen us make out at parties a few times and kind of shrugged it off. He asked me if it was hot and then fucked me after I described it.
I don’t think she ever told her boyfriend.
Anyway, after that we just made out occasionally before bed. Sometimes it was more like a few pecks, sometimes we full on dry humped, and once she felt me up.
Years later we did go a little further but that’s a different story…
I think the weirdest thing about this time was that we shared sex toys. We legit, without washing, shared sex toys.
It started with trading lingerie. Then I told her she could use my bondage on her boyfriend. Next… vibrators. Hers stopped working so she used mine. We would just leave vibrators laying around because we didn’t give AF. When we had guests over, one of us would run up to hide the vibrators.
Then we would occasionally masturbate in front of each other.
I suppose I should say that I do quite literally have a diagnosed compulsive sex addiction, so this was almost an inevitability living with someone in a studio… But it was still weird.
We’d just be chilling and I’d be like, “I’m going to get myself off.” She’d watch TV until I was done. A few times I’d be making breakfast or walking out of the shower and hearing the familiar buzzing sound and small whimpers as she got off.
I know this sounds insane, but I sincerely thought we were just REALLY close. When I moved away I cried and cried and felt this huge weight in my chest. I didn’t care much about leaving my boyfriend, but I cared about leaving her. I remember our last kiss before I finally drove away. We were ugly so hard we couldn’t even enjoy it.
So good luck unpacking this one… but there is a chance I was accidentally in a relationship with an alleged straight girl.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/xsj3ou/the_gayest_straight_relationship_ive_ever_been_in
You’ve “not” been in relationships with more depth than many marriages.
Wow, there’s a lot there.. Is this someone your still friends with.. Would she say she had a sex addiction also? Was she into similar bondage/rough sex etc as you?
> Bro… idk. This one gets weird. It’s not quite a funny story or particularly hot. You’re welcome to unpack this mess with me though…
Welp ok then *cracks fingers*
It’s possible that you would be what is called a “Homie-sexual.” While you don’t necessarily pursue a sexual relationship with your friends, but the closer you get to someone the more open you are to the idea, whether it’s a lady or a gent. Of course not all your friendships turn sexual and they don’t have to be, you’re more than happy to keep it casual/platonic. Add that you’re friends with your exes (except that one dude), so yeah homies for life!
*exhale*
That’s all I got, hope it makes some sense LMAO!
Either way, you’re still weird regardless so why bother explaining shit, you do you Ms. V cheers!
Pretty sure you’re both just not straight lol
> I was accidentally in a relationship with an alleged straight girl.
Lol, Better than my experience. I remember when I thought I was in a relationship with a straight girl. Apparently dinner dates, aquarium, zoo and museum dates while fucking was not a relationship /shrug
Your literary voice is so unique I can tell when it’s one of your stories just from reading the preview! And it always hooks me enough to read the rest! (Or save it for later if I’m at work lol). I really enjoy the way you create vulnerability in your stories too- kind of like a narration on all aspects of sex, not just the physical. You’ve even inspired me to post a few of my own! I’m still finding my way but thank you for sharing stories that inspire me both in my literary adventures and personal life!
You were together, even if not explicitly said. Why not ask her if she wants a relationship/ or Poly one if she is bi and wants also to keep her boyfriend? And then move back? and you need to be true to yourself about your feelings. If leaving her hurt more then leaving your BF, then this was your SO
You will fall in love a thousand times. This was 983 for you lol I’m so pleased you got to experience intimacy without “sexuality” in its entirety. Many people never get that opportunity.
That’s pretty gay, bro
Are you poly, V?
I don’t want to mirror all the compliments you get from everyone else, but there’s something about what you write sometimes that resonates with me deeply.
In fact I’ve shared a couple of your stories with a paramour because you’ve perfectly captured some of my relationships without ever having met any of the participants.
It’s a big world and I know these stories are yours. But damn, sometimes…
That said I’ve never fallen into something like this, so my only comment is sometimes applying labels to things doesn’t help understanding them. Particularly if there don’t really fit.
People….like…most people, discount how fucking difficult it is to figure out who you *are* in life. And it’s a moving target, particularly in the years in which it’s common practice that society thinks you should have it all figured out.
If you add challenging experiences and family dynamics early in your development, well, you’ve just upped the difficulty on getting to that answer by sometimes exponential factors.
I’m not qualified to tell you why or how but I give you a ton of credit for your introspection and retrospection.
Edit: society thinks
I love seeing a V story pop up in my feed, they never disappoint! I love your style of writing
That’s a pretty sexy story
The part with the ugly crying goodbye makes me want to say you were together, but a strong part of me thinks that’s something no one can say without both parties acknowledging it..like, out loud.
Which raises the idea of personal definitions… if you ever entered an asexual romantic relationship with a woman, what would you imagine that looking like?
I just typed that and stopped and started thinking for a while, and I guess the main difference would be acknowledgement for the involved parties…?
That was a great story, it reminds me a friendship that I have with a guy (i’m M too)
This reminds me of a time my three male friends went on a sailing trip together over the summer during which they spent a week or two together on a very small boat. When they came
back we asked them how it was and one of them said it was “A bit homoerotic but without the erotic.” I didn’t know what to make of that the same way I don’t know what to make of this story hahah