[F] 23. I love the subtle power imbalance in straight sex

Less of a story and more just a horny rant with some tidbits from my past hookups.

I love the implied dominance that men have in the bedroom. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but in my experience, and I assume for the majority of women, there are universal parts of sex that are clearly favored towards men or even flat out misogynistic. I find that really fucking hot and I want to talk about it, so here we are.

I get that sex is a spectrum and vastly different for everyone, different strokes for different folks and all that. But I feel that there are just these moments in what we think of as normal sex where women are expected to submit. Maybe others see it differently, but I definitely don’t feel like an equal when your cum is dripping off my face or when I’m stuck with the taste of cum on my tongue lol.

Like, for example, when a man is finishing. I think most people would agree that cum is kind of gross (not trying to kink shame for those that disagree😂!!). And yet literally every guy I’ve ever been with has expected to cum in or on me somewhere. Nobody is out here offering to cum into the towel lol. Is it really *vanilla* for me to kneel at his feet patiently, smiling, while I wait for him to shoot hot ropes of cum over my face? Not really, but we certainly treat it like that.

Or the amount of times that a new partner has cum somewhere we haven’t talked about at all. I honestly think every single time I’ve ever first sucked a guy’s cock, they’ve cum in my mouth without asking, and even without warning sometimes. And, of course, it isn’t enough to just let you cum inside my mouth. No, no, I have to *swallow* it too. And there’s all this stigma around girls that don’t swallow as well. Talking with my friends, it seems like nobody *likes* swallowing but literally everyone I know does it anyways.

When I was with one of my first boyfriends, I was still a virgin so pretty much everything we did was oral, and he *always* wanted me to swallow. It was to the point that I had a regularly upset stomach, and I remember asking this dude if I really had to swallow every time… ya’ll, I am not exaggerating when I say that he was about ready to break up with me for even wondering. Does our relationship really not mean anything if I’m not choking your nut down every time I see you lmao? I still get off remembering how he had me suck his cock right after that conversation. It was like he had to remind me how things worked after I stepped out of line. He was a bit toxic in particular, so maybe not the best example, but I do feel that most men are like that to an extent.

And let’s talk about cleanup. I don’t even want to think about how many *hours* I’ve spent wiping cum out of my eyes & hair, or having to fix my makeup in a hurry because we have plans but he *had* to cum on my face. And most the time they don’t even help clean the mess *they* made. Somehow, it’s all my job as soon as they get their’s. If you’re lucky, they throw you a towel, but some don’t even do that.

Once, after a drunken hookup, this dude made an absolute mess of me—I had cum practically blinding me, tangled in my hair, running down my back, even in my fucking bra. I swear to god this guy just sat on the couch watching TV, while I spent 10 minutes ransacking his apartment for a towel and trying to find my clothes. He was pretty drunk to be fair, but it was still infuriating. And somehow that’s a memory that I cum to all the time…

Then there’s all the grabbing and smacking. Every single man I have ever been with has freely grabbed and slapped my ass like he owns it, and I can say with certainty they never asked or cared if I liked it (I do, but that’s not the point 😂). It’s not even always during sex. I can think of so many times when a boyfriend and I were just cuddling and watching TV, and they would just lazily be playing with/slapping my butt. To me it’s always felt like an implicit message that I’m his and he could take me whenever he wanted. And I fucking love it lol, easily the quickest way to get me wet.

I remember one of the first times I ever had sex, my boyfriend at the time and I were trying doggy. We were in his parent’s basement, “watching” a movie, and he had me bent over the couch with my pants still stuck around my knees. We were fucking like that for a few minutes, and then out of nowhere I just feel him wind up and slap my ass. I remember being livid, just absolutely shocked, that he would disrespect me like that. I snapped and asked him why the hell he did that in the nastiest tone I could manage, and he nonchalantly tells me “because I felt like it”. He was completely unthreatened, didn’t even slow his pace down as he was fucking me. If he even knew I was mad, he didn’t show it. And I can still vividly picture in my mind the way he just pushed me down by my shoulders to get my ass higher, and gave it another slap. Harder than before, and then he *really* started giving it to me. I was fucking speechless, somewhat from being upset, but more from the sudden and overwhelming arousal.

A very intense way to discover that I like being spanked to say the least. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve cum to that memory… the indifference to my complaint and the way he doubled down, oh my god🥵.

I’ll stop there for now since I’ve been writing this for over an hour at this point. Would love to hear others thoughts on this… it gets me so, so worked up.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/xoxdla/f_23_i_love_the_subtle_power_imbalance_in

2 comments

  1. I think for me, I’m pretty stubborn, stick to what I want and can come off as bossy or “no nonsense” to some… But that’s because I have to be that way. You have to twist people’s arm and yap in their ear to get them to do what they already should have the common sense to. It’s exhausting.

    But in the sexual context, ideally anyways, there’s no bossing or nagging, I don’t have to write out all the steps for them to wanna bend me over and pound me. They just do it. And when they want to do it, and know how, the enthusiasm makes it even hotter…

    It can honestly be nice to give up a bit of that power/control/having it all together vibe that I have to live with all the time and just get to be needy, beg for more, be a little depraved without having to think so hard. To be able to freely give into my desires for once without having to play a commanding role for every little thing. I guess because Im used to having so much responsibility on my shoulders, leaning into the power imbalance there or even turning it up actually brings a bit of relief. That’s just my two cents!

  2. Thanks for sharing this. It can be hard to talk about this in our society these days as a guy. I have immense respect for women, highly value my female friends, am 100% for equality and nothing upsets me more than girls being mistreated.

    Having said all that, I LOVE the implied biological power imbalance in heterosexual sex and being dominant.

    It was a real growing experience in my early years slowly learning that I wasn’t a bad person for wanting to be a rough and a little degrading with girls in the bedroom, or enjoying slutty submissiveness from them.

    Always fascinating to hear from girls’ perspectives who are into the same dynamic and willing to be honest about their feelings, even though our culture shames that.

    Some of your anecdotes reminds me of friends, FWBs and girlfriends telling stories about guys cumming in their mouth without asking or forcing it, and I always felt a little guilty that hearing that really turned me on. Though I have never forced a girl to swallow or not warned in that scenario, I have definitely twisted some arms or lightly pressured in the heat of the moment to… encourage it to happen.

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