I should have probably known I wasn’t straight [FF]

What am I? Fuck, idk. I usually call myself bi because it was my first identifier, but who knows?

I’m not straight. That’s for fucking sure. I don’t really discriminate.

I find entertaining when folks try to ask me which way I lean. I don’t. There is no rhyme or reason to my attraction, but I know it when I see it.

In a world that suppresses bisexuality and fetishizes lesbians, it was very confusing in the 2000s. I just kind of thought everyone enjoyed making out with all genders. Plus, who would want to watch porn with men? Surely girl-on-girl was natural.

The depths of my denial shouldn’t have extended to the black hole that it did, but if there was ever a “red” flag it was this story.

I had this very, very close best friend throughout high school. We’re actually still close, but not the way we were back then. You didn’t see me without her for years.

Upon reflection, we were both always queer AF, but I just thought it was normal “HAHA SEX EXISTS!” kind of shit. Plus, it’s not like anything happened between us. We were just really close.

*Ive thought about this a lot and I do think we were attracted to each other, but I could never articulate what “attracted to” meant back then. She was obviously hot: She had a rockin body and was naturally adorable, but I never thought about fucking her because OBVIOUSLY I was straight.*

*I loved Jesus and dick. All the makings of a straight girl.*

After graduation we went to Mexico with our two guy friends. They most DEFINITELY wanted to hook up, and I had a gigantic crush on one of them.

I was 18 and shy AF though.

Before we went out, my best friend and I took a shower together. This was not weird for us. I literally shaved all parts of my body as we talked.

What was a tad weird is that we had both had two shots of tequila and were a little drunk. When I asked her about my crush she felt my breasts up and giggled that he would love them. I slapped one of her boobs back and told her it must be so easy to have that confidence when DDs when I’m a C cup on a good day.

I don’t quite know how to explain what happened next… We um, play fought?

We just kept running into each other and slapping various body parts. We also fell on each other at one point and ended up washing each other with soap.

*Lol, you know… like straight girls.*

We put on porn as we were getting ready. Again, this should have been a weird thing, but we watched porn together all the time.

*Always girl-on-girl because straight girls watch gay porn together all the time.*

We even made out before we went to dinner because we just did that…

*Straight. Girls.*

My dear best friend and I were not used to drinking. We had three margaritas when we went out and became baby wasted.

At one point my crush pulled me aside and kissed me. I was so pumped I almost jumped on him. We were clumsy and forced, but our flirtation lasted throughout the evening.

We kept making out and it was VERY good. However, I didn’t even know how to have a one night stand back then. In my mind we had already hooked up. We kissed one more time and then went our separate ways when it was time to go to bed.

My best friend giggled about this was we had another shot of tequila and changed into pajamas.

We crawled into bed together and she asked if I wanted to watch our favorite HBO porn. Of course I did.

*Oh the days of HBO soft porn.*

“I want to fuck him,” I finally slurred. “Do you think I’ll ever be as good at sex as these women?”

*I can say comfortably I’m better at sex than the sex portrayed on soft HBO porn.*

My best friend smiled at me. “You’re so cute, V. He’d definitely have sex with you.”

*This is also before I realized most single, straight men would definitely have sex with me if I just asked.*

Then she started touching herself.

We had done this before to an extent. Every time we stayed in the same room we usually watched porn and touched ourselves to it. We never discussed it or acknowledged what that might mean. Shit, it didn’t meant anything to me then.

I suppose the difference was the proximity. I had a king sized bed in my room back home, and she had two twin beds so we slept apart.

This time we were in very close quarters, and her arm was brushing against me as she pleasured herself. I started doing the day, rubbing my finger around my clit as I arched my back and moaned.

At one point a silly thing happened in the soft porn we were watching so we turned to each other and laughed… Then we kissed.

Years later when we discussed this, she apologized for kissing me. I honestly think we kissed each other.

At first it was so slow. We basically just hovered our lips close and giggled. Then her tongue parted my lips and I let her lick me slightly.

*We made out all the time… we just didn’t usually make out while we both had hands down our pants.*

I think it was me who put my free hand to her waste first, but she was as definitely the one to inch up my bra. When I moved my mouth to her neck, she squeezed my breast and I sped up the pace I was going with my clit.

I think we both did. The circles we were making moved into the same motion as we got ourselves off while we made out and felt each other up.

*Dear god, she had a great rack.*

There were no “I’m close” or “that’s it.”

I came first and then I sat back and watched her come. We pulled our pajamas back up and fell asleep cuddling. As always, we never discussed it.

So yeah… I should have known I wasn’t straight.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/xnbeji/i_should_have_probably_known_i_wasnt_straight_ff