..The last time I [18m] had an orgasm was roughly 3 days ago. I was currently on a depressing streak of procrastination, and staring at my to do list (desktop app trello, really recommend) of all the exam revision I was supposed to have done. For some context, It was the last day of a one-week “holiday”, if you could call it that. Everyone knew it was just a short breather from physical school where you were supposed to study undistracted to your heart’s content. Or at least that was the general consensus on the surface, a social stigma to portray the utopian, studious image of yourself. In my opinion, the first few days of any holiday a relaxing yet critical moment which predetermines the productivity of the rest of the holiday. There is always a burst of motivation that one will feel in those initial days, that makes the future seem like difficult yet rewarding challenge to tackle. However, such motivation is short lived, and by then discipline should take over the helm to propel one onto a planned, consistent and balanced study schedule. It is always a gamble as to whether I will be able to establish this schedule and grip the reins of my life to steer it in the right direction.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In the present, I ruminate upon my failed schedule for the past week. To distract myself from this predictable predicament, I put up my shield of procrastination that fills up my mind with shallow distractions. I know, not a genius move. But at this stage any action to actively solve the situation is beyond me. There is an Economics test tomorrow that I have not studied for. There is a graded assignment due tomorrow night as well. There is also a physics practical this Thursday in which I have not made any plans for. The time was 11:00 pm. Overwhelmed by all the actions I had to do, my sleep deprived brain decided to just take a shower and sleep.
Before I move on, I’ll like to talk about the present. At the moment, I am sitting in the darkened living room typing this in Notepad. The time is 12:05 AM. The first day of school begins tomorrow, and I am nursing a raging boner stuffed into my pants, my hair still wet from the shower. I am pretty short and skinny for my age, at 165cm (5’4 for those living in eagle land). I don’t masturbate that often, (at least after I started the IB syllabus), and talking about it feels weird. I’m pretty sure I’m mostly straight, but I think my more introverted personality and slight figure diminishes my masculine identity lol. I used to wish I was a girl but nowadays that sentiment is only slightly present. I would say I’m probably 85% straight, 10% bi and 5% trans?? It also doesn’t help that I am in a Christian, Asian family that is not openly conservative or nonstraight-phobic, but such ideals are still present. Anyway.
Just about an hour ago I entered the shower naked and turned on the shower head. While going through the motions of shampooing hair, then lathering my body with soap I began to feel a twinge down below, which was a little surprising. I thought I was too depressed to wank but apparently I underestimated the power of the horny. I thought: why not? I usually see jerk off sessions as impromptu, where I would find myself cumming after about 5-10 minutes of scrolling pornhub. The post-nut clarity that would hit after would guarantee a couple of days free of the horny, and I had viewed masturbating more as relieving an unwanted yet enjoyable primal desire. However, this time alone in the shower, free of the guilt inducing compromise of porn, I decided to pay more attention to myself instead of the girl in the video.
I started off with using soap to lather the area around the slowly hardening shaft, then stroking up and down lightly, leaving a subtle trail of soap from up to the tip. I particularly paid attention to the pleasurable tingles that were faint enough in its intensity to warrant a more intense action, but i held back and kept repeating this light stroking. The situation was suddenly much more intense and real than the other porn sessions where the girl in the video cumming was my cue to do so, as I came to the realization that being in control of your own orgasm was much more rewarding than blindly jerking off. It was at this point that I decided I would try edging for an indefinite period. I had done so in the past, but it was not with as much freedom as I had now; standing here (i reeeealise\~), with warm water trickling down my head, back propped against the tile wall, legs slightly apart and fully erect dick bobbing up and down with my rapid heartbeat. I suddenly had an idea of doing what I haven’t done in a while- using the shower head itself for hands free pleasure. I had tried it before in the past, and comparing the experience with other erotic stories, seemed the male compromise of females getting off with a vibrator. It was also more controlled and less messy than using hands.
To get off with a water jet stream, I held the shower head against my thigh, pointing upwards so that a consistent and delicious rush of water would be concentrated on the bottom of my shaft or head, setting never-ending vibrations against the throbbing, sensitive area. For those who have not tried this, the sensation is definitely more intense than beating the meat with hands (like a caveman, ew), and the whole process is much more controlled. A must try. Anyway, I stayed in this position for about 5 minutes- I don’t really know, as I edged closer and closer to a bursting orgasm, and ascended beyond the intricacies of time and space. Only two things existed in this world- the water jet bouncing off my throbbing dick prompting oh-so-delicious sensations that crawled down my thighs and up my spine, and the constant fire of desire slowly burning brighter in my belly, inching closer and closer to an explosive release. However I had enough sense of mind to back away from an orgasm, and held the stream just out of reach of the tip. I exhaled sharply as I experienced the simultaneous pleasure and frustration of edging, and I must say, It is definitely so much more intense than actually orgasming. Taking deep breaths to clear my mind, I washed off my hands with more soap and changed the showerhead to a cold setting, setting it back on its holder on the wall to aim a wider less intense stream of cold water that felt like ice on my heated body.
After a while I stepped out of the shower, still feeling sexually frustrated and my raging boner showing no hint of subsiding. Still naked, I dried myself off, taking care to avoid brushing the towel against my extremely sensitive tip. I started to feel a little panic setting in because I could not possibly put on my underwear and pants with my dick fully erect at about 5 inches and probably reaching a hardness that could be measured on the Mohs scale. I engaged in more deep breathing, trying to banish lewd thoughts from my brain while simultaneously brushing my teeth. Finally, I could feel the erection abating, and I ramped up my deep breathing while slipping on my underwear and trying to absolutely not think of putting on my underwear which would sandwich my dick between my thighs, no doubt producing more delicious sensations. Luckily, my dick deflated sufficiently enough for my to pull the foreskin over the head, tuck it between my legs and settle my underwear into place. I could feel the snug position making pumping more blood to my dick, but in its trapped position no noticable bulge could be seen. I put on the rest of my clothes and got out of the shower.
The time now is 12:30 am. Just typing this makes me throb with intensity again and reminds me of how tight my dick is pressing upwards against the pliable cloth… I’m not sure if I can make it through the school day tomorrow. Wait shit Economics test is tomorrow.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/xca3jo/first_time_edging_m18_first_timeedgingsolo
Your story got me so excited!