I’ll say it right at the top. I cheated on my husband, and I’m not entirely sure why I cheated on my husband. Writing things out has been therapeutic for me in the past, and I had planned to post this on some sort of advice related subreddit (relationship_advice, or maybe surviving infidelity.) However, once I wrote it out, my accounting of events is a lot closer to rambling erotica than it is to an advice post. I don’t have anyone to talk to in my personal life about this, and I feel like I need to get it off my chest somewhere so I’m posting here. Sorry if infidelity offends you.
If you had asked me a month, or even two weeks ago how my marriage is going, I’d have told you that it’s amazing. We have a good work/home balance, do things together regularly, and we have sex at least two times a week, very often more than that. I have no explanation for what I did that has any relation to my marriage whatsoever.
My husband and I have fairly different work schedules. He starts at 5AM, so he’s gone before I wake up most weekdays, as I don’t often start work before 10. I was using my morning free time to do some shopping a few weeks ago, and had stopped to grab a coffee. While I was waiting for my order, another customer approached me and struck up a conversation. We’ll call him Chris for the sake of this story. He looked to be about 30, with short brown hair and a well trimmed, but full beard. He was a fair amount taller than me too, easily over 6 feet tall.
Chris and I clicked very quickly, and for the first time since meeting my husband, I ended up sitting down and having coffee with a complete stranger. I’ve been on impromptu dates before, both in college and before I met my husband. Sometimes you just hit it off with somebody. I’m ashamed to say how exciting it was to be that spontaneous for the first time in a few years.
Chris and I bantered very well, and I found myself enjoying the way he was looking at me far too much. I hadn’t even bothered doing makeup before leaving the house, since I was only intending to go shopping. But the way he was staring, the mom jeans and tank top combo I had on might as well have been a little black dress. In minutes, he had me giggling like a schoolgirl, and blushing under his gaze while I answered whatever questions he asked me about myself.
We talked for a long time. So long, in fact, that I didn’t have time to finish my shopping anymore, and I was at risk of showing up late for work by the time I was leaving. He asked for my phone number, and I gave it without hesitation. It wasn’t until I left the café and returned to my car that I remembered the fact that I’m a happily married woman.
Chris had texted me by the time I was on my lunch break at work.
Him: Hey! I just wanted to say I really enjoyed talking with you today. Is it too pushy of me to ask when I can see you again?
Despite the fact that I had been mentally scolding myself the entire afternoon for ever having sat down with him , I found myself typing out a reply less than two minutes after seeing the notification.
Me: I had a lot of fun with you today too. My work schedule is pretty wonky but I’m free a lot of mornings. Let me know when you’re thinking, and we can see what works!
He replied quicker than I was expecting, I hadn’t so much as halfway finished eating when my phone buzzed on the table.
Him: Is tomorrow too soon?
His message had me blushing all over again. I was sure that I looked like a blotchy cherry tomato sitting in the breakroom given the heat I felt in my cheeks. Once again, I typed out and sent a reply without putting very much thought at all into it.
Me: I suppose there’s no such thing as too soon if we get on well. Tomorrow morning works too, around the same time?
I had the next day off, so I mentally planned to do the shopping I had neglected after seeing Chris for coffee. My phone buzzed seconds after I set it back down, and it became clear Chris had other ideas.
Him: No such thing as too soon? I like that. In that case, how about tonight?
I actually laughed when I read the message. He was being more forward with me than most men had ever been, my husband included. I felt a pang of guilt in my chest as my husband crossed my mind, and decided to step out to call Chris. I needed to come clean to him, and apologize for leading him on. He picked quicker than I was expecting, on the second ring.
“Hey. Didn’t think I’d get to hear your voice again so soon, even better.” He was speaking to me in a low voice, the same flirty tone he had used earlier in the café.
“So confession time… I’m married. I should have said something to you this morning, but for some reason I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I let myself get caught up in the attention.” It all came out of me so quickly that I wasn’t sure he’d have caught it all. His response stunned me even more. A soft laugh rang into the receiver. Chris was actually laughing at the fact that he had been led on for the better part of a day by a married woman.
“If I didn’t mind that, would you want to go out tonight anyway?” I was stunned for a moment. Then my body very quickly told my mind exactly how I felt.
“Yes…I-I think I would.”
“Great, when can I pick you up, and where?”
“I drove to work, I can just meet you. Text me where. I get off a bit after ten.” Every part of me knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did want to see Chris again. I was being self-indulgent, and I couldn’t help myself.
“Sounds great, there’s a pub a few blocks from my building, and I’ve got visitors parking. I’ll text you the address right now.”
We said a quick goodbye, then ended the call. Moments later as I was walking back inside, I felt my phone buzz with Chris’ address as promised.
I cringed at the fact that a suitable excuse to give my husband explaining my tardiness came so easily. I fired off a quick text to him letting him know I’d be sticking around to cover the first few hours of someone else’s shift because of a staffing issue. We’re notoriously short staffed at the moment, as everywhere else is, so I knew that it wasn’t something he’d think twice about.
I took a quick shower at work once I had finished my shift, before changing back into the tank and jeans combo I had worn throughout the day. My hands actually shook as I followed directions off my phone on the way over to Chris’ apartment. I parked, and texted him that I had arrived. He didn’t reply, so five minutes later I was worrying that I had been stood-up when he walked out the front doors of the building.
“I only have a couple of hours, he thinks I’m working late.” My voice shook a little bit as I approached him, but the warmth of his smile immediately put me at ease for some reason. He ran his eyes over me, taking his time, and waiting until I stopped in front of him to respond.
“A couple of hours is plenty of time. We can go to the pub, or have a drink upstairs if you want.” He gestured to the doors of his building over his shoulder, and my eyes followed his pointing. I chewed my bottom lip nervously for a few seconds, then took a deep breath, and wordlessly stepped around him and towards the doors of his apartment.
I knew what was likely going to happen once we got upstairs. What guy invites a married woman he’s been flirting with up to his apartment with entirely pure intentions, after all? It didn’t stop me, though. I waited for him to unlock the door to the lobby, then followed him to the elevator. The doors closed, and he pressed the button for his floor before leaning against the elevator wall opposite me, and staring at me intently.
“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything. If this isn’t something you want, we can stop right now, and I’ll lose your number.” The concern in his voice sounded genuine, and his face softened as he spoke.
“I know I want to do this, it just isn’t something I’ve ever done before. You’re not going to believe me, but I’ve never even considered doing something like this until today. Hours ago, really.” The elevator opened on his floor, and we both stepped off. He turned around, and grabbed my hips, pulling me close to him. My body reacted before my mind did, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“We can stop whenever you want. Nothing even has to happen if you don’t want it to.” Was he having doubts himself, or simply reminding me that I was in the driver’s seat? I didn’t know, but I liked it. My mind was cloudy as half my focus appeared to have been diverted to where his hands rested low on my hips.
I opened my mouth, intending on saying something. Though, retrospectively I’m not sure what I was going to say. Instead of talking, I stared at him for a few seconds there in the hallway, the only sounds coming from other apartments up and down the hall before I leaned up and pressed my lips against his, kissing him.
I felt him smile against my mouth, and pull me tighter against him. I hadn’t bothered putting my bra back on after my post-work shower, and my nipples hardened, pressing into his chest through the fabric of our clothes. After a while, he pulled back from the kiss, a massive grin on his face. He took my hand, and led me down the hallway towards his apartment.
Chris pressed me against the wall as soon as we had both taken our shoes off, kissing me harder than we had in the hallway. His hands started at my hips, before quickly finding their way to my ass. I whimpered into the kiss as he squeezed, and slid my hand between us to start playing with the buckle of his belt.
He pulled my tank top off over my head, and let it fall to the floor of his small entryway. He kissed down my neck, along my collarbone, and finally his lips settled around my left nipple causing me to moan out loud. I had his belt open by that point, and unbuttoned his jeans, which allowed me to slide my hand into his pants. I began massaging his cock through his boxers, exploring the shape. He was about the same size as my husband, but curved upwards. That curve made me curious, it was something I hadn’t experienced before.
Chris picked me up, ending my access into his pants, and kissed me again as he carried me into his living room. His eyes raked over me again as he dropped me on to his couch, making me giggle in surprise, and began tugging my jeans off. He tossed my jeans behind him, dropping to his knees in front of me. He was still entirely clothed at that point, save for the opening of his jeans, so I leaned forwards to kiss him again, and bit his bottom lip, tugging on it before I tugged his shirt off over his head, placing it on the coffee table behind him.
He pushed me back, tugging my panties off and pulling my legs over his shoulders. That man feasted upon me like he was starved. Or at least, it felt in the moment like he was. He pushed two fingers inside of me, giving them a twist as he did, and his tongue worked quickly over my clit. I was trying, and failing to quiet myself as he licked me. He used his free hand to spank my ass, dragging his nails along my thigh afterwards and that, combined with his dedicated assault on my clit pushed me over the edge. I clenched my thighs on either side of his head, abandoning all attempts to quiet myself as I came against his tongue and around his fingers.
I fell back against his couch, and stared at the popcorn ceiling of his apartment as I panted, slowly regaining my focus, and my breath. He flopped next to me on the couch, and leaned down to tease my nipples with his tongue with a laugh. My whole body was still pretty sensitive from my climax, so I shuddered against his tongue which earned me another one of his gentle laughs as he lightly peppered kisses along my chest, neck, and shoulders.
Chris’ lips brought my focus from controlling my breathing back to him, and namely the lovely curved cock I had felt in his jeans what seemed as though it had been only a few short moments ago. I told him to take his pants off, and he practically jumped off the couch to oblige. I sat up from my slouched position on the couch, and Chris stood between my legs as I grasped the base of his cock, stroking his semi-erect length slowly while looking up at him. I swirled my tongue around his tip, then began bobbing my head over his length while he let out a loud, pleasured groan, and slit his fingers into my hair.
“I’m not going to last very long if you keep that up.” He said. There was disappointment in his voice, and that flattered me. He wasn’t done with me. He wanted more. I did too.
“Do you have a condom?” I asked, pulling back from his cock but continuing to stroke him with my hand very slowly. He nodded, and motioned for me to follow him down the hallway. He was already halfway to his bedroom by the time I followed him. The idea of moving to a bed gave me a momentary pause. For some reason, it felt much more official than what we had been doing up until that point. Like I had been doing with all reminders that I was misbehaving throughout the day, I pushed it to the back of my mind and followed him anyway. Chris had a condom in-hand when I reached his bedroom doorway, and turned around to look at me with a big grin on his face. In any other context, I’d have called it a goofy grin. At the time though, it struck me as purely lustful. He was excited to have me.
I felt like, and I suppose was a massive slut walking around naked in the apartment of a man I had only met that morning. That feeling only turned me on more though, and I stepped into his bedroom, wordlessly climbing onto his bed, and positioning myself on all fours. I stared ahead for a few moments, too nervous to look back at him. When I finally did look over my shoulder, Chris had positioned himself behind me. He rubbed the head of his cock along my already slit, and I pressed back into him, grinding myself up and down against his length. He spanked me ass, and called me a good girl before he leaned forwards, grabbed my shoulder to steady me, and finally impaled me with his cock.
I gasped from the immediacy of it all. He began fucking me at a steady pace from behind, and I grabbed one of his pillows to bury my face in. I reached down between my legs and massaged my clit while his pace increased, causing my core to clench around him. He asked if he could pull my hair and I only nodded, unable to reasonably form words.
He grabbed the ponytail I almost always wear at work, and used that newfound leverage to tug me back into him with some force, and I felt his cock throb inside of me. I bounced my ass for him, pushing back into him each time he thrust into me. The sound of our bodies slapping together filled the room and I lost myself for a few minutes in the sensations as he alternated between spanking me, massaging my breasts, and pulling my hair.
Chris pulled out of me, and flipped me on to my back before beginning to fuck me with the same pace he had used from behind. I pulled him down into me and kissed him again, arching my back and pressing into him. He then broke our kiss, and told me he was about to cum. I clenched my kegels around him again, and he gasped into my neck before pulling out, hurriedly pulling off his condom, and shooting several ropes of cum over my pelvis and lower stomach.
We kissed for a little while, then Chris got me a towel to clean myself up. He offered to let me use his shower before going home, but I was suddenly racked with guilt and couldn’t stay. I put my clothes back on, only muttering one-word, or otherwise short replies to any questions he asked. My hands were shaking by the time I reached the elevator again, the gravity of what I had done was sinking in. I blocked Chris’ number when I got to my car, and showered immediately when I got home. That was another action that appeared not to arouse any suspicion from my husband, as it’s what I do whenever I come home from a shift.
So there it is, the absolute worst thing I’ve ever done. I haven’t said a thing to my husband yet, but I know I’m going to. He doesn’t deserve to live in a relationship based on a lie. I just haven’t been able to muster the courage yet. I go back and forth wondering if there’s some sort of temporary insanity explanation for my actions, but I don’t think there is. I was aware at every stage that my behaviour was wrong, and that didn’t change my actions.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/xazpek/the_worst_thing_ive_ever_done_fm
Oh wow… Simultaneously a really hot story, and I feel bad for the husband.
Well that story is insanely hot! I hope you are able to figure out your own thoughts before going to your husband! You might even thinking having your own dirty secret to be sexy!? Good luck and thanks for sharing!
Here i am reading this at work- incredibly turned on
Please take my advice. DO NOT TELL HIM! Your actions can be lived with, but it will be his constant suspicion that will destroy your marriage. Go to a priest or someone that you can confess and come to peace with it. People fail and you have a great thing don’t blow it through Self punishment. If you need help with self forgiveness dm me.
Would argue your marriage and sex life has become stale. Would suggest being honest with yourself. Life is too short if you are with the wrong guy.
Tell him you whore. That was sexy though
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Your husband will notice a change in you. The guilt will eat at you and he will notice. It will be more obvious during sex w him. I’d recommend std screening before having sex w your husband because you did have sex w a stranger.
If you are as close to him as you say, have sex several times a week etc he will notice some difference in you if he hasn’t already.
Guilt makes us do weird things and inappropriate times. You will feel the guilt more during sex and if he’s as In tuned to your body, movements & sounds as I am my wife he will notice a change.
Only you know why you did what you did. I know you said you don’t know but you do. There is a reason you cheated w a stranger you’d only know for few hours. Don’t kid yourself into believing you don’t. No matter what it is we do there is a reason. If you don’t figure it out it’ll happen again.
I feel sorry for husband because sooner or later it’ll come out and you’ll have to explain yourself.
Maybe he’ll forgive and even if he does the trust is shattered.
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Good read. It worries me that my wife could just as easily get caught up on something like this. I have faith that she could resist but you knew … and still dove in head first. People are human. I guess I’m the end we just have to be true to ourselves first and hopefully to our spouses as well. No judgement from me, we all make mistakes. The reality of this just makes me shutter. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
I was hoping you’d end this with how horrible of a husband yours is, and you’re basically on way out anyway, but the fact that you honestly thought it over and recognize how much you love him. And you look forward to spending time with him? This put that punched in the gut feeling in my stomach imagining what he deserves to be told.
Figure out a way to express that love you have here, cause I belive it is genuine. And pray that he is feeling extremely forgiving and understanding. And if he is, and this does not destroy both of you, know that your relationship will never be the same. He’ll never look at you the same. The trust will never be what it was this morning, and that is all justified because you are no longer the same.
At best, a long painful road is in front of you. At worst you guys get to the end and divorce anyway. But he deserves to be told the truth. Even more so if he is a good husband and you love him like you stated. I doubt he’ll believe that, because why ruin something you are still in love with, but it’s done. I doubt you’ll ever be able to answer that question, and saying I don’t know is not an answer. I would get something else to say. I don’t know will probably infuriate him.
Shit, I am way to caught up in the emotion of this, I feel like my wife did this. But, I’m hoping, wishing, and praying you guys are able to work it out and he can, by some miracle, put this behind him and forget about it. I truly hope that, and wish you all the luck in the world.
And I want to puke imagining being blindsided by this, like he will be.
God this is awful.
Do not say anything to your husband! Trust me on this. Confession may be good for YOUR soul but it will destroy him. You fucked up, you made a mistake. Or you needed a stress release from the pressures of everyday life. Or you were just a little bored and needed a quick thrill. Doesn’t matter. If you tell him he will never look at you the same. You have to deal with it in your own head and heart. Do not be selfish and drag him into this. If you need to confess, go to a priest. Or a therapist. Or continue to write about it here on reddit. But you don’t need to destroy his world just so you can feel like you were being “honest”.
First of all, this was very well written. And very hot!
If this was a one time thing, then DO NOT tell your husband! You will be changed, but why inflict pain on him. But if you are looking to change your situation or wish to restructure your relationship with your husband, then that option needs to be on the table.
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Good luck!
Telling him will hurt him as some sort of absolution for a sin feel you did. Don’t do it again and work on your marriage. Don’t further risk your marriage to ease your guilt. Unless deep down you want to blow up your marriage. Which might be why you did it in the first place.
We are not free in what we do because we are not free in what we want. You know why you did this. Take responsibility.
How old are you and your husband? Was the guy alot younger, was that the desire & temptation?
***He doesn’t deserve to live in a relationship based on a lie. I just haven’t been able to muster the courage yet.***
I agree; he doesn’t. You seem to genuinely love him… You’d be doing right by him by being honest. You have my support. Just, please, don’t wait too long to do so.
I kinda of understand this, but it’s still nightmare fuel. By your own account your marriage seems solid, with plenty of sex and mutual respect but you still fell prey to the allure of the unknown. It’s not like your husband did anything wrong that drove you away, so there isn’t anything he could have done to prevent it.
This comes down to the fact that for a relationship to work, you need a high degree of certainty you can count on your partner. But that same certainty is achieved by sacrificing attraction and lust. So some day a new guy can come up and make you feel like your husband hasn’t in years and there’s really no way to compete with it.
No judgement though, I understand your side as well. You’re a great writer.
I think you have to consider there simply is no reason. You are searching for meaning in what you did. Assessing whether something is missing or wrong or whatever so that you can point to as a cause. I don’t think all things have an identifiable reason. You met someone so utterly attractive, physically and mentally, that it overrode sense and reason and logic. You’re writing in the sub Reddit tells tales about how sexual attraction pushes people into doing things or making decisions that are incredibly erotic but morally suspect sometimes.
I believe that sometimes two people, in all the immense biological diversity that we have as humans, can hit something so in tune it’s like creating a harmonic. It could’ve been the timbre of his voice, his physical attractiveness, perhaps the pheromones that he emitted were perfectly attuned to you. Who knows? I don’t necessarily think that there was something wrong or missing, so much as something superseded all of that and activated whatever it was in your mind to seize the opportunity engagement. This isn’t to provide excuses for your decisions just that sometimes reason eludes us and that may be pretty hard to deal with in of itself. But it happens. And now you have to deal with the consequences of that.
Since this post wasn’t in an advice sub Reddit, I won’t really offer any on the moral front as you have indicated that you plan on telling him as soon as you can muster the courage. The only thing I would say is to make sure you continue to avoid Chris should your marriage go the way it will likely go. If you ever want to DM or chat let me know because I’m certainly familiar with your situation
Hey. I did not have time to read the entire post yet, but you are welcome to message me if you want to talk about whatever you have on your mind. I know how it feels to have noone to talk to.
Don’t beat yourself up, OP. You’re only human. We do weird things sometimes – use this as an opportunity to assess where you’re at in your marriage.
Really hot story, you’re an excellent writer.
You deserve pleasure and joy. You still love the people you love, even if you wanna have fun every once in awhile. Thanks for sharing. My dms are open if you wanna talk more about cheating (not necessarily in a horny way).
everyone seems to be judging you and i understand why but honestly, we are human and make mistakes. just be honest with him and tell him everything. learn from this and maybe itll help you both and bring you closer rather than tear you apart.
This is a easy one I slept with my best friend mother and sister but got the sister pregnant…
Hey. I expect you already know this by now; you’ll almost certainly do it again at this point. I’ve been there in your shoes, but as the guy. I confessed and she forgave me. This was years ago, but the damage I did is still there and will almost certainly never go away. Your options have been put forward by others. But I wish you the best in how you choose to proceed. Good luck.
**When you do, please PLEASE read up on how to do this correctly.**
* Do NOT get defensive about anything you did. You’re not in a position to do that, least of all in your husband’s mind. The more humble you are, the more likely he will be able to trust you.
* Be ready to share all the details. There will likely be TONS of questions. If you value your marriage, answer them all completely honestly. Sharing everything preserves some shred of trust.
* Be ready to share your texts, messages, emails, etc. Do NOT delete anything ahead of time. Be open and honest.
* Be ready for your husband to react very strongly—probably more strongly than you feel is appropriate. For many people, this can be one of the most traumatic events of their life. **Validate his trauma.** Understand that he may not like how he is reacting either, but that he might be experiencing some of the most powerful emotions he’s ever felt in his life and isn’t prepared to handle them.
* Affair PTSD is real, though it’s not as well known. It has many of the same symptoms as traditional PTSD.
* Be ready for your husband to feel like he has to confirm details about your location and time usage. Be ready to give him those for weeks or months—as long as it takes.
* Be ready for the possibility of divorce. Be ready for a long road ahead if your husband is willing to stay with you.
* If you decide to stay together, be prepared for forgiveness to be a long process. Trust takes a LONG time to build back up.
* Be prepared to feel really frustrated that he’s not over this even when you are. You might feel a lot of relief that the weight is off your shoulder, but now it’s on him and it will take a longer time to get over it for him.
* Be prepared for there to be good and bad days in the recovery process. Forward progress is not tteady.
**My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear OP. Good luck from all of us.**
No judgment here from me. Sometimes sex is just an overwhelming basic physical human need that we need to satisfy, like animals, and we need that release. If you think this will become a pattern, talk to your husband about your temptations and fundamentally explore why you’re having them, but I honestly see nothing useful that will come from confessing. All you’ll be doing is searching for an emotional explanation for a physical impulse that’s more powerful than most people’s self control in the right set of circumstances. There are many people, with good reason who have accepted that it’s not really the natural order of things to be monogamous for decades after marriage, yet it’s a standard that so many people blindly hold on to in detrimental ways. Honesty is important, but there’s a difference between honesty and trying to find explanations that don’t exist for natural things our bodies can and need to do because we are human.
Think this is the first time I have ever skipped to the end, I glossed over some of the naughty parts. See I discovered my partner’s infidelity recently and it has left a path of destruction within. Not only did you slipped up, but also followed through by contacting him, knowing you were gonna be intimate with another. That moment of bliss will give your husband a lifetime of torment. I really question whether or not if you should tell him. In some ways I kinda wish I didn’t know myself. We tried to move past it but even when we were having a good time, a moment, the betrayal crept into my mind and my smile faded. We were happy, I just don’t understand.
Normally this subreddit is a fun read. This is the very first time I have felt something other than curious about other’s personal interactions.
Sorry you resent your actions. Come clean with him. It’ll hurt him now, but if you do not and he finds out it will hurt much more. I just experienced a similar situation. Letting someone find out through someone else is way worse.
Personally I have told my wife, even before we were married and ever since, that she should act in that kind of urge as long as she lets me know asap. I would not want her to resent me for not being able to experience that sort of hot adventure. Though I do try my best to be that hot adventure for her. Worked for over 12 years by now.
Am I the only one here who thinks this is fictional writing?
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Trash wife. 🤷🏻♂️
The problem is the hook. There’s a hook in you. He’s blocked now but I would not say blocked forever. If you connected that well there is no way you aren’t still tethered to him some way. Well written, heightens the fall and descent really well. Will be interested in seeing the part where you unblock him to explain yourself and he reels the hook, and you, back in. Not in a bad way, just in an erotic thriller way. Wishing you the best.
I’m (M) in a job where I socialize lots and sometimes drink. I’m told that I’m friendly and easy to talk to. So, when I’m traveling I somehow find myself in convo with women at airport bars. Invariably, we always have a good buzzy talk while waiting for flights. It’s never in my head that action would happen, maybe that’s why I’m approachable to these hot married or attached women. The younger ones are too cynical to jump into that type of random convo. Your body never lies, when I walk away and realize that I’m unconsciously dripping pre-cum is when it feels the most intoxicating.
I have a guilty hard on
I dunno. If you love your husband, and he loves you, if it was something you needed to do, I bet you can have a discussion about it and work something out.
Me and my partner had some ‘ooopsie’ moments I’ve the last 15 years. Shit happens. We are all human. Talk to him.
Guys can easily separate sex with love but as a girl you’ve emotionally betrayed him and as far as I know most girls cannot love a partner while fucking someone else
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Yeah, I don’t think people like you deserve to be in a healthy relationship at all.
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Your poor husband , shit wife
Congrats on killing your marriage, I guess.
Don’t tell him. No need to pull the pin on that grenade.
You are an excellent writer.
How was he only semi-erect after eating you? I think my penis doesn’t work the same but it would be at full staff.
Unpopular opinion, but the worst thing you could do is tell you husband.
>I haven’t said a thing to my husband yet, but I know I’m going to. He doesn’t deserve to live in a relationship based on a lie.
If you know you are never going to do this again, take the secret to your grave. Tell him is going to make you feel better and destroy him and your marriage. I know this will get a chorus of boos, but people confess to feel better. This is your burden and you are about to put it on him.
I truly sympathize with your situation, and I understand the baffling feeling of not knowing why it happened. I have been going to Sex Addicts Anonymous for many years due to having impulses I have never truly understood. It saved my marriage, and it might save yours. Look up SAA meetings in your area, call the coordinator, and steel yourself for a frightening walk into a room with strangers. After you get through the door, you will find an accepting, open minded group that can help you figure it out. I know this has only happened once to you. It might not ever happen again. But the feeling you describe is one the group will very much understand, and can help you process. Good luck!
Can I ask how the first conversation went?? Like what was the first thing he said and what was said after that which made you wanna have coffee with him?
I’d love an update to this. This hit a nerve. I feel for you both.
I think it goes back to the beginnings of your story. Sometimes people click. And while it doesn’t make it right, I can see how it led to another man’s bedroom. Reading your story also shows not only your guilt, but how enamored and turned on you still are. Days ahead have tough decisions as I believe you are tempted to unblock that number.
I am curious if before marriage did you ever cheat on prior monogamous relationships? No judgement about this as it is your business. We all have our pasts.
Did it cross your mind that Chris had zero integrity to know you were married but proceeded anyway?
The feeling of remorse must be common. You get the emotional hit and then reality sets in. Lizard brain stuff. You have sex and then realized the hot guy won’t be there to care for offspring. The provider may depart also. These thoughts run deep.
I remember in college a girl had her boyfriends picture right there in her room when we met up for a date; but later we slept together. Super hot interaction but was she ever cold after. Who knows her motivation. But, the blank stare, eyes down told the story.
This story sure seems like a guy wrote it. Getting coffee, an attractive women engages with you and soon you have sex. Like a 5 second story half the guys at Starbucks have running through their heads. but know won’t happen.
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Did u like sex more with Chris? Did he feel better?
> I haven’t said a thing to my husband yet, but I know I’m going to. He doesn’t deserve to live in a relationship based on a lie.
You want a divorce? Because this is how you get a divorce.
Think things through. Most people cheat; very few talk about it.
I’ll be downvoted but here goes: don’t tell him. I heard or read once a discussion about this., and how by telling him, on one level it’s felt the right thing to do — as we’re taught currently. But when you strip it back, what that means is you get to unload and assuage your guilt and to some extent feel absolved not in terms of the guilt for the action but by turning yourself in and ‘doing the right thing.’ But where does that unloading go? Right onto your spouse. The hurt, the pain, and shattered trust, self worth doubts might even affect him for life even if you were to divorce. So in a way, it’s you transferring the pain onto your partner.
Anyway, at first when it read or heard it (show? Movie? I don’t remember), I vehemently opposed it. And I too, felt, ‘yes but they’re living a lie!’ But with time I realized I think it’s the pragmatic and least hurtful thing to do. Yes it’s a lie but there are parts of many people that not everyone knows. The whole ‘what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them’ kinda thing.
I dunno, tough call, and it’s definitely not the b/w morality of Disney /Hallmark we’re all taught, but real life isn’t and I’m not sure coming clean about it is a good idea anymore. Anyway a different perspective to think about.
Moving fwd tho you should not be doing this again and work on yourself privately to overcome this (therapy etc) and deal with the shame and guilt (again, vs dumping it all on him). But if you can’t or don’t want to stop, you’ll need to consider discussing some type of open/monogamish/swinging marriage.
Ok, let the downvotes begin…lol
Don’t cheat your husband out of an authentic connection. Tell him
As someone who has been through this myself from the husband’s side I can honestly say after you have confessed things will never be the same again. This happened to me 20 years ago and for over a year I hated everything about her but just didn’t show it I did forgive but forgetting is not an option. For the most part now I did not think about it at all but there are the odd day here and there where it pops into my head for no particular reason at all and the hate and trauma just floods back in. I wish e eryday she would have just kept her mouth shut and took it to the grave. So my advice do not tell him at all it will destroy him.
It’s a drug. “Chris” knew what he was doing and he also has to take some blame. It’s exhilarating. The rush of the hunt and the forbidden fruit that’s intoxicating. But when it’s all over the guilt sets in. You won’t be able to stop.
Not saying it’s right. It’s awful. Hell I did it. I loved it. Anyone who says they didn’t love cheating in the moment is a lie. No one is that righteous. But it’s wrong and after the guilt hang over is awful. Don’t wait too long. You need to tell your husband.
Good luck
Well you have to come clean to your husband. The Truth always has a way of coming out when you least expect it. It’s going to be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. But you have to come clean otherwise if you husband finds out on his own. The revelation will be so much worse for you if you don’t tell him. The fact is that you may have to let your husband go in the end. That divorce is going to be on the table the longer you rung sweep. food for thought 🤔
I think one thing you need an answer is why did you do it? Your husband likely to want that answer too.
Confessing can go either way, right? The good one, you guys work things through and he learns to trust you again moving on for the better or he may not forgive you, what are you going to do if the worst case scenario happened? I think you need to consider this.
It is a hot story, thanks for sharing. I hope things work out for you.
If this was truly a one off experience, DO NOT TELL YOUR HUSBAND. This is not worth destroying your marriage over. People are saying he’s going to sense some change in you because you had sex with another man one time. Hogwash! Men are just happy to have sex. You’re not a bad person, you’re human. Talk to a counselor or a priest, confess your sins to that person rather than your husband. If you find yourself confronted by the same temptation again, be it Chris or anyone else, and you feel like giving in, THEN reevaluate your marriage. One dalliance does not a slut make.
I hope you tell him. I hope he goes to therapy and doesn’t spend his life asking why. However I really hope he never reads this and has to imagine you sucking and fucking another man on an attention whim.
And this is why my wife has a hall pass to fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants. As long as she is safe and tells me about it. I’m not a jealous guy. It’s the lying that hurts.
I see you feel terrible about what happened. Although It’s questionable into how much detail you can go considering how bad you apparently feel.
What you absolutely need to do is tell your husband about it. Not for yourself, but for him. He deserves to know who his wife really is.
I don’t think there is any repairing that trust. As he didn’t even do anything wrong he will forever have the feeling that he cannot trust you or others no matter how good he is to you/them.
If you’ve been together very long and your husband is an attentive guy, then he might already be suspecting something.
How long were you gone after work when you’re usually home?
Were you late responding to his text during this time?
The shower at work, is that something you usually do?
Were you able to confidently look him in the eye when you got home and maintain a normal conversation?
He may already suspect something happened to throw you out of your routine. I knew, when my wife did this. She didn’t confess, I found out.
Funny how you start off about how great your life is with your husband yet you let a smooth talker get to you and you knew better yet continued down the path of getting your feels with a stranger. You have some deep issues and betrayed your husband for a quick screw. Once you gone down the rabbit hole you will continue to cheat on your husband regardless of how guilty you claim to be, you are way too detailed about your liaison about how he seduced and how he had sex with you and how much you enjoyed it. Tell him you cheated and give him the freedom you want then get yourself some therapy.
Do at least one right thing and tell him. He absolutely deserves to know. Maybe he is some day able to get over the trauma you will make him go through. And maybe he is able to find someone who treats him with honesty and respect he deserves.
Sad that you drove your marriage against the wall while being aware of every step.
Not gonna lie I’m just some stranger on the internet but seeing that even in a happy relationship one is one day just deciding to throw everything away makes me wanna cry.
I have found that Redditors are moral prudes when it comes to any hint of infidelity or cheating. Infidelity is a complex act and it will have different consequences for every individual. The fixation with infidelity as though something has been “robbed” or “tainted” is some retrogressive “partner as property” thinking, and its fucking up relationships even before either partner cheats. Check out Esther Perel’s latest book on the need for more empathy for “cheaters”.
OP this is hot, and don’t blow up your life (or your husband’s) for an extremely hot moment that you’ll savour when you’re looking back on your life as an old women. Keep it to yourself (and keep that guy blocked if you can).
If infidelity offends you, you’re in the wrong subreddit.
Telling him is selfish. He doesn’t want to know, please don’t tell him and hope he doesn’t find out.
You mentioned Banter in the fifth paragraph, so my assumption is you’re attractive to bantering and know a lot about it. Bantering with most women will lead to a decision to have sex with that person. I believe you knew before you got up from the table to leave at the coffee shop. Please tell me I’m wrong! No judgement, as I’ve used bantering before and it works for both people!
Wow.
Normally I am the person defending people who write cheating stories here and saying that they are adults and it’s their life and choices.
But this just made me sad and it completely validated what all the choads always say about women being far more faithless than men and so much sneakier.
I feel bad for your husband who was simply working his ads off and being a good and faithful spouse.
I’m a swinger and my girlfriend knows and accepts this and is open to exploring that – together. Neither of us has any desire to cheat on our own. And that’s what you did. You cheated and with absolutely no excuse but a simple turn on when opportunity struck and you had a choice to walk away immediately.
So sad.
This is one of the best sex stories I’ve ever read. If anything more happens please write more. Sorry it’s causing trouble though with what you’re going through.
So…… so….. so fucking hot!!
Tell him **now**. Every minute you delay just makes it worse.
This made me sad :(
Read Ether Perel’s “The State Of Affairs”. It will help you understand a lot of the why of what happened.