So I went with some friends to a big Labor Day cookout. There were a bunch of people I knew there, and bunch I didn’t. It was warm outside, and there was a pool, so I wore a bikini top and a pair of short jean shorts. They’re not full-on daisy dukes, but still VERY short and show some cheek. Also super comfy. I brought a dish of my famous potato salad to share.
I was there for about an hour, just drinking and catching up with people, when I heard this girl nearby who I didn’t know say (not to me) “ew, did you try that potato salad? So gross.” She didn’t know it was mine, but still, it took all of my strength not to turn around like, “excuse me, bitch?” (My potato salad is amazing.) I didn’t say anything, but kept my eye on her.
She was this uptight looking redhead with RBF. A minute later, she looked over at me, and I swear to god, she gave me a quick up-and-down glance and THAT LOOK that said “wow what a slut.”
Too bad I’d noticed her boyfriend checking me out earlier. Because that’s when I decided I was going to go suck his cock.
Her boyfriend was not a particularly attractive guy. He was basically okay, but kinda loud, a little overweight (he had a beer gut), lots of hair. Not my type. I think he was 30-something.
I waited until he went into the pool house to get a drink and followed him in. We were the only ones there when I found him in the kitchen, and I asked if he could help me find something. “I lose everything, hahaha!” I love playing dumb sometimes. 😂 I led him into the storage room off the garage.
Then, I “found” the other bikini top in my bag there and asked if he’d be a sweetie and help me tie it.
“You sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind?” I winked at him.
I made him turn around while I pretended to mess around with the other top, and then told him to turn back. I was holding the top over my boobs.
“You wanna peek? I don’t mind. I saw you looking earlier. I won’t tell.””Uh….” he was totally nervous. “Yeah.”
So I dropped the top and let him stare at my tits for a second. Then I took one of his hands and let him feel.
Yeah, so one minute later, he’s leaning against the wall, and I’m on my knees in front of him, tits out, bobbing over his cock, working his balls with one hand. He actually didn’t have a bad cock. Then I told him to turn around, so I could brace the back of my head against the wall. I told him to go ahead and fuck my mouth, and that he could go as deep as he wanted. I could handle it.
Well, he definitely went for that. He was thrusting pretty hard, and I actually thought I might gag once or twice, but pretty soon he just grunted and blew his load. I could tell he was close, so I was ready. I loudly gulped down his load, and then looked up so he could watch me lick his cock clean and say thank you.
“By the way, your girlfriend is kind of a bitch.”
He actually laughed. “You have no idea!”
Then he left and went back to the party, and I went around the side of the house so no one knew. Except one of my friends who was with me, who immediately gave me a look, and we both cracked up laughing because we both knew what I’d done. I still have no idea what his name was.
By the way – the secret to a really good potato salad is to (1) always use yukon golds, (2) let them cool completely after boiling, (3) NEVER add salt before they’re cooled, because then you get watery salad, and (4) add a healthy splash of white vinegar after the potatoes are cool, along with a bit of chili powder. I make damn good potato salad.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/x87n0g/i_25f_deep_throated_an_unattractive_guys_cock_30m
My wife says your potato salad isn’t fit for human consumption.
Potato salad claim is dubious at best.
Great story, also really appreciate the salad tips
Got me craving potato salad
Dam I want to taste your potato salad!
Sounds like some good potato salad
Deja Vu is a strange feeling
Well, you won’t believe this.
My wife is disgusted by your potato salad.
I really do like those vinegar-based potato salads rather than the ones drowning in mayo. Also, capers and pickles are your friend.
Story was pretty hot too.
I love this story!
So she was right wow what a slut lol
Modern day revenge, if that’s a thing lol
Hot story… but I’m definitely going to keep those potato salad tips!
Trained chef here. From your tips I can tell your potato salad is as fuckin legendary as your head game.
So petty. So hot.
Came for the hilarious title, stayed for the story. This was amazing.
If a chick pissed off my GF would often seek to fuck the husband/BF to get even.
You are a savage and that gives me a boner
This all checks out. I have seen grim, determined men at the barbecue festival marching a judge who insulted his dry rub around the side of the tent.
Haha, way to go. Now I want to taste your potato salad as much as your pussy.
My girlfriend also said that the potato salad was terrible.
Your potato salad does sound great!
No one’s potato salad is amazing…because it’s potato salad.
Story and recipe 10/10
Lmao, this title😄
Well, way to bury the lead with the potato salad recipe smh
I… really want to try your potato salad now. That tip about not adding salt, that’s pro-level. Nice!
This is perfect, I’ve been looking to make a good potato salad.
Haha I genuinely died laughing reading the end of this. Amazing story 🙌
Better not be any eggs in that potato salad…
That’s the problem with recipes on the internet— you have to read someone’s personal story before you get to the part you’re really interested in.
This story served 3 purposes quite impressive…
1. Never insult someone’s potatoe salad.
2. Very entertaining sexual story.
3. Great details on how to make an exquisite potato salad.
Bravo
Uh, hey, my girlfriend said I shouldn’t eat slutty potato salad.
Just had a shitty day at work and read this and laughed my ass off. I really needed a story like this. Thank you. I wish this could happen to me. Lol
Does the potato salad have raisins?
Came for the salad, came with the blowjob
It makes me weirdly happy to see someone else stan yukon golds
I love potato salad, can’t have a cookout without it. Total fat kid here, but I gotta see this salad
This girl knows how to toss a salad 😂
I am standing and applauding. Well done, and thank you for sharing this devilishly fantastic tale.
You can make me potato salad any time!
!subscribeme
Dam it’s that easy… If it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have any at all
Mmmm,I love me some tater salad !
For anyone who didn’t know or forgot the acronym:
RBF = resting bitch face
Definition: the way my Hungarian calculus teacher looked at the beginning of most classes, even when she was in a neutral mood. Not to be confused with her face when she looked at me, because that was almost always a case of BBF (bitchy-bitch face).
Nice! This is how the recipe backstories should read every time I Google how to make something. Much better than some insignificant autobiography. Can we please get NSFW recipes.com up and running.
How to smoke a brisket…. She bent over in a short skirt with no panties….. smoke till internal temp reaches 155 and then wrap with tin foil till temp hits 185 Let rest in cooler (no ice) for 2-4hrs. Pull or chop
You had me at Yukon Gold ;)
I salute you.
My mother says to add the dressing while the potatoes are still hot so that they absorb it better.
I prefer red wine vinegar, it’s a little mellower but still has that acid zing.
That’s a real cockout, then
!subscribeme
Yukon Gold potatoes really are the shit aren’t they
Vinegar…oh you’re one of THOSE people.
Damn!
Mayo or mustard-based?
For once it’s good to see a food posting that drags on with a backstory before getting to the recipe.
Just like every food blog. You have to read some convoluted story before you get to the recipe.
This is fantastic!!!
If I can’t make a damn good potato salad – BTY I love PS – will you cum help me & my Cock??
It’s so rare to find a good story and a really good potato salad recipe.
Thank you so much 😂🤣 Excellent methodology by the way!
This is for sure a r/pettyrevenge
Question is, did you add some extra frosting atop her lemon meringue pie?
nice..Society needs more women like you
Guarantee her potato salad is garbage
My gf also said your potato salad is gross 😉
Fair, she deserve it. I’ll try for sure your recipe 😁
Do you use mayo or oil in your potato salad?
revenge sex really is the best
What else do you put in your potato salad?
can you come & taste my girlfriend’s potato salad. tell me what you think … 6.5inches *zip* 🍆
You didn’t know the guy but knew his age…
lol!
Legendary. This is the kind of story I dream of being in 😅😅
Your stories are incredibly hot as I’m sure you are as well. I fell down your rabbit hole at work today and you made this old guy hard. Thanks sweetie!
Hey! My girlfriend says your potato salad sucks!
top 4 things that never happened
If watching food network could be like reading this post it could cause world peace. Bravo
I thought the story was awesome but to get the recipe too……😋👍