*This is interesting because it’s the first and only time I’ve ever sent a past partner a post before posting. Her one condition was that I included Fred because she felt he was necessary to the integrity of the story. I had originally written him out, but enjoy this cameo.*
My ex girlfriend was a fucking mess. She was hella hot and the first person I genuinely enjoyed fucking, but boy was she a mess. She was mad at me for about 80% of our relationship and that complicated our sex life a little.
Anyway, she was extremely closed off and very rarely vulnerable. Part of this was a defense mechanism because she hated that I wasn’t “out” and part of this is just M. I actually sincerely did not really feel like I knew her ever.
Until she tripped acid and got WAY too honest.
At the time, I was a weirdly good kid. I was around drugs always, but they just didn’t interest me. When M and her roommates tripped acid, I showed up to babysit because I cared about her and I was honestly pretty curious.
The first hour or so was pretty normal. We were just chilling like we always did. They were all being slightly weird, but no more than if they were a tad high.
Then suddenly M started “petting” something I couldn’t see. She was so chill about it that it took me a while to realize she was hallucinating.
*The thing about being around folks who are tripping is that it’s easy to forget they’re tripping because they often say pretty normal things. Then they’ll be like “Hey, check out the way Fred’s hair is dancing” and you suddenly remember they’re tripping balls.*
At one point she stopped mid sentence and started looking at me. She narrowed her eyes and stared for so long I got uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” I finally asked.
“Nothing. I was just thinking about how if young me knew I’d someday date someone as beautiful as you I might not have been so angry all the time.”
I think my mouth fell open. She just didn’t say things like this very often, and certainly never talked about her younger self. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s stupid. I’m tripping. Forget it.”
About an hour after that she grabbed my face and stared at me again. “I once tried to mix paint to find your eye color and I couldn’t do it.”
“Why were you painting my eyes?”
“I don’t know. I paint everyone. Why do you care? You’re being weird.”
I was definitely not being weird. She was being weird. It got A LOT weirder too.
So for those who don’t know, hour four is when things get very freaky. She got overstimulated and the two of us shut ourselves in her room with her best friend until she could calm down.
*He was a red head I’m just going to call Fred because we all die anyway.*
Fred was freaking the fuck out and couldn’t get off the floor. Meanwhile, she was on another planet.
“I’m sorry I’m so mean to you,” she finally said.
“Why are you?”
“I don’t know, V. I think because I like you more than you like me… Well, that’s not even true. I’m mad because we have an expiration date.”
“Let’s not think about it.”
“You always say shit like that! You deflect.”
I got kind of pissed. “You think it’s because you’re a girl, but I don’t talk the future because you’re kind of a mess.”
“Do y’all want privacy?” Fred asked from the floor. He was coloring.
She glared at him. “Don’t you dare leave, Fred. You can hear why Viola is a mess. She’s just better at hiding it because she’s manipulative. She’s just so sweet folks don’t notice.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ok M. In what way?”
“You don’t eat enough.”
“I eat plenty. How would you even know that?”
“You think I’m as stupid as the guys you fuck? I’ve fucked you everyday for months. You don’t have periods.”
Fred was uncomfortable. “Are you guys sure you don’t want privacy?”
“No!” We both yelled.
She went on. “Also, do you seriously think I don’t see you leave yourself during sex? Do you know how fucking weird it is that you don’t remember shit you say when you’re fucking?”
*Fun fact: this comment is why I started journaling- I read it helps you remember. So in a way, everyone who reads stories on this account can thank M and Lucy.*
“What do I say during sex?”
“Mostly shit about how you want me to hurt you. Or stuff like how you’ll die without it… To be honest, it’s kind of hot, but fucking weird. It’s like you went from being the most innocent person I know to full BDSM overnight. Although, you’re not innocent. You just want to people to believe you’re innocent. I think it’s so you can eventually find a husband. I’m not the only thing in your closet, if you know what I mean.”
I gaped at her. “What the actual fuck are you talking about?”
“I don’t know, Viola. You shouldn’t jump from asking what a dildo is to asking to be choked in a matter of weeks. There should be some learning period, right? I’d say you’re lying about experience, but I truly believe I’m the first good sex you’ve had.”
“What do you guys do to each other?” Fred asked from the floor.
I ignored him. “I’m not lying.”
“No, I know,” she said. “I realized that when you thought my nipple clamps were earrings. Why do you like to be hurt in bed?”
“I don’t know. It feels good? I’m sure that seems very simplistic to you, but it’s the truth. I don’t overthink it. Why do you like dominating me?”
“It’s the only control I have in this relationship,” she sighed.
I snorted. “That’s not true. I basically worship you and you treat me like shit.”
“I know… it’s because I hate that you like men. It’s like, I want to spank the straightness out of you.”
“Wait, wait. Who spanks who?” Fred asked. “Is that why Viola is always bruised?”
Again, I ignored Fred. “You just might. What’s the weirdest thought you’ve had about me during sex?”
“I want to keep you in a dog cage and make you eat out of a bowl.”
I spat out my drink. “Jesus Christ, M.”
She shrugged. “I don’t *actually* want to do that. You asked what the weirdest thought was. You can’t expect me not to have weird thoughts when I’m railing you and you scream something like ‘Please destroy me.’”
“Ok but what does it do for you? The thought of putting me in a cage?”
“You don’t see how having another human do literally anything you want is hot? Like the thought of someone willingly exist for your pleasure?”
I smiled. “I don’t know if you have to put me in a cage for that.”
“She doesn’t?” Fred interjected. “Why not? What do y’all do?”
M huffed and rolled her eyes at him. “I feel fucked up about it sometimes. Like, there’s something wrong with me. You have it easy.”
“My ass was so sore the other day I could barely sit during class.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to question why you’re turned on by the sex scene in American Psycho.”
“What the hell, M?” I stammered.
“Not the murder part- the part where he makes two women fuck.”
“This is not making me feel better.”
“You’re asking about my *deepest* sexual thoughts.”
“Yeah, they’re just a little darker than I imagined. I thought your sex drawer was the extent.”
“Where’s your sex drawer?” Fred asked.
“Bottom right,” V said absently. “If you touch my dildos I’ll whip you with my flog.”
Fred’s eyes grew big as he scooted across the floor. He opened the drawer and was occupied for a while.
M went on. “Yeah sometimes I want to bite a chunk out of you.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“Again, these are the darkest thoughts I have. It’s not like, what I think about when I get myself off.”
“Do you think of me?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Obviously.”
“M, why do you have three types of handcuffs?” Fred asked.
“To cuff her to the bed. Sometimes I double them up if I need room to play,” he answered very matter-of-fact. His eyes grew large as he held one up to light.
“What… What do I usually do when you think of me while getting off?” I asked
“I don’t know. I use you as furniture or fuck all of your holes. I don’t know. It depends on the day. You don’t think about shit like this? Because you get VERY turned on when we get rough.”
“I don’t know. I mostly think about stuff we’ve done.”
“Fucking subs. Y’all don’t have to think.”
“What’s a sub?” Fred asked. “Like she obeys you?”
We ignored Fred.
“Well, you get to use my body for pleasure so…”
“Were you like this before?” M asked.
“Not really. I won’t ask about you. I don’t want to know.”
She sighed. “Are you the same with men?”
“How?”
“Like… this submissive?”
I blinked. “I’ve never had a man try it, but yeah.”
“You’re good at it. Sometimes it’s all I can think about. I just want to make you hurt so bad and then come so hard, and I love that you love it. I don’t understand it, but it’s hot.”
I shrugged. “Again it feels good.”
She jumped on me and held a hand to my neck. I said our safe word.
“What is happening?” Fred asked. “Should I leave?”
*Fred didn’t move. He didn’t really want to leave.*
“Why can’t we fuck?” She complained as she backed away. “I’m actually super clear headed right now.”
“Earlier you said the vents were breathing. I can’t fuck you when you’re this fucked up.”
“Well shit. Can I fuck myself?”
“No, it’ll be too tempting.”
“I really want to put a collar on you.”
“Ok…”
“Or like, tie you to the bed and free use you all day.”
“Ok…”
“I want to make you eat me out to get your freedom, but I’d just keep going. Then I’d edge you, and then pull your collar and tell you that you’re mine.”
“You’re saying a lot of things right now.”
“I’d probably pee on you too… Even though I’ve never been into that. Is that a guy thing? Fred, is that a guy thing?”
“I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know any of this was a thing.”
“M, you are in another world,” I finally sighed.
“You should see how wet I am.”
Bro, it was tempting. Because NGL, apart from being slightly afraid of getting murdered and eaten by my girlfriend, this was HELLA hot.
*Idk maybe I’m as sick as she is.*
But alas, she was tripping balls and Fred needed guidance. Half an hour later they were on her living room floor and she was telling me about how the shadows in the room looked like tiny ghosts. We didn’t fuck until the next day after she had fully come down and recovered.
She did go off about how beautiful I was several times that day though. So I fucked her silly when she was sober.
Fred never really looked at us the same.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/x1wv6z/when_my_emotionally_stunted_girlfriend_tripped
Wow this is so interesting and reads amazing. I have some additional questions? Can I chat u
I think freds life changed after that day
Did you ever see M’s paintings of you?
This story is pretty wild…and now I am curious on how tripping on acid would feel.
I was mesmerized by the concept of an expiration date on relationships.
The rational part of me says that its just a self fulfilling prophecy. But then i remember “The history of O” and how both lovers knew their connection would end one day i guess i may have finally uncovered another truth from one of greatest poets of my mother language:
Não que seja imortal
Posto que é chama
Mas que seja infinito enquanto dure.
It will be immortal
Its a flame after all
But may It be infinite while It lasts.
I have so been Fred in the past but all of us were tripping. The boundaries were very less defined. Sometimes ended like Fred others like Hefner. Acid is crazy.
Huh. So you actually did the same thing with her that you did with Him (I forget the name you gave him, but I figure you know who I mean). You bring it out of them, but with M it came more easily because she was already so angry and it was on the surface (which I’m glad to hear she’s aware of, at least on some level).
But it seems like with everyone you’re with, you bring out a new level of darkness they have to confront and manage because you make yourself *so* submissively available. Your husband is a psychologically **strong** man, clearly, because he’s apparently partitioned that part off from any “meaning” that doesn’t actually exist once the clothes go back on.
I had always wondered if M is the one who left the imprint on you that led here, but this story flips that around.
Well that was interesting. Your mind is awesome. I want to read more of your adventures.
Spilling the tea on acid is definitely something. Not sure if you were able to understand it at that point in time, but at least then you knew…all of that stuff she spilled.
“Again, I ignored Fred.” LOL amazing
Fred really does establish the atmosphere.
I’ve been in that kind of position in college, but I usually didn’t interject. A friend mentioned once she had to remember I was around and be careful what she said because she could tell I was actually paying attention to what was being talked about around me, unlike some of the other pet boys her crew had tagging along.
Huh, yep yep yep. M is definitely a heartbreaker. Those dang tsunderes. I feel like Fred reading your stories just in awe at the situation and just trying to absorb it all.
Here’s a random anecdote that you may find amusing V
I did date a artsy kinda punkish alt girl that was really into drugs that got weird really quickly. I used to carry around my cat around campus in a DIY cat carrier backpack before it was cool.
I remember she used to be like…infatuated with my cat but also afraid of him. She used to make some weird offhand comment like “I think your cat wants to eat my face” Which…made no sense at all and I was very confused about it.
Anyways, she made a comment like that to some effect one day while I was over at her place and I was like “wut” then I went to the washroom… I came back to a scene of her sitting on the couch with my cat in her lap…and her mouth on my cat’s head “sucking on it”
Shit was weird.
“I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know any of this was a thing.” 🤣🤣🤣
I’m glad you included Fred.
This was good, and hot, and sad.
Fred has his mind opened and reevaluate life that night 😂😂😂 what night for him! Great story as always V
We were all Fred at least once in life.
Watch but don’t touch.
I would read a novel-length compilation of stories like this. Life is just… strange like this sometimes.
I’m intrigued that the whole conversation basically is “I HORNY! WHY?”
Human source code is hella buggy.
Let’s be real honest and say that by the end of this we were all team Fred and wanted to pat his head and give him hugs😅
I sincerely hope you have a screenplay manuscript on the go because your ability to write dialogue is fantastic!
Did M ever put you in a dog cage?
Funny how that’s actually something that I enjoy. We submissives are quite fascinating.
TBH one the best, most honest posts I’ve read here in years!
Bet Fred’s story is on here too somewhere ;D
>“Nothing. I was just thinking about how if young me knew I’d someday date someone as beautiful as you I might not have been so angry all the time.”
The first thought I had after reading the recount was how this conversation was either very adult or a teenager’s concept of an adult’s conversation.
But rereading this line maybe she was very much in tune with her inner child, the vulnerability of it, the truth and sincerity. No guise, or as close to that sunny core as possible.
And re-rereading that line, I’m struck by what she may have had to go through when younger and her frustration at not being able to have all of you, out in the open. Hot(?) story. But also made me sad for some reason.
Also, the fact you thought Fred’s inclusion was unnecessary when it in fact was the breather we all needed… I’m disappointed. You were just too sober. You couldn’t see. It was Fred all along.
Omg i am fred
I love Fred. Hope that dude’s doing well.
You should get Fred’s version of the story
I got super horny while tripping and my sober fiance was happy to oblige.
It was incredible sex
!updateme
Yeah…. this is why acid just really isn’t my jam. Too unpredictable.
Fred seriously made the story.
ETA: ohh, you also posted about the sociopath last month! I really enjoy your writing.
One of my favorite of your stories. Feels like I’m ready a ready to go script for an indie rom-com or something. Absolute gold.
I use the phrase everything had an expiration date. Even love. She seems like a very intense person
Damn this is pretty similar to one of my past relationships with an ex. This was great I don’t know why but it was. !updateme
NGL including Fred made me feel like I was on that trip too…with Fred as my guide. Fred’s great
>“Bottom right,” ***V*** said absently. “If you touch my dildos I’ll whip you with my flog.”
Funniest typo in history.