I didn’t know why I felt this way.
But when I tried to hit on a girl, I freak out. My stomach tensed up into knots and my throat went dry and raspy. Every time, without fail, when I saw a girl I found attractive, it happens.
I’m 18, and I wouldn’t say I was particularly ugly. I wasn’t not a model or anything, but I get plenty of looks from girls around campus. I played a lot of sports and hoped to jump into uni on a football scholarship.
But that damn vee card… I knew it wasn’t a big deal. Most guys were still virgins at my age. Well, if you considered 12% of guys. I read that somewhere.
The problem was, all my mates were testosterone filled males. Every one of them were in their prime, shagging girls left, right and center. I loved playing footie, but sometimes the teasing from the lads could be infuriating.
I was about to leave college after the last class of the day finished.
I rounded the corner and bumped into a lock of long, blonde hair.
Sophie Turner, one of the girls in my class. She was insanely cute and had one of the best rated rears in college. I had a crush on her for years, but I was content with admiring her from afar in classes we were in together.
“Hey Leo, how are you?”
“H-hi…” I stuttered.
The thing with my nerves, it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I got nervous, and it made my speech go all weird. And then that made me even more nervous.
“I watched you play today. You’re really talented. My family are big into footie.”
God, she smelled nice, and her eyes were big and round and this was the bit I was supposed to ask her for her number…
“T-thanks, I guess.”
That familiar churning in the pit of my stomach revved up like a sputtering engine.
“Say, do you fancy doing something sometime? Like grab something to eat or…”
Yeah, that’d be nice. Lots of talking, one on one interactions and me thinking about what I was supposed to say next and then what? She’s gonna find out what a weirdo I am, and go tell everyone. I was going to get a reputation.
“I need to make sure the oven isn’t left on.”
Yeah, my brain went stupid too.
“Oh… well, anytime I guess,” she said, her face a mask of confusion. She walked off, and I knew I made an ass of myself. Note to self: rush out after class, do not let myself get ambushed.
I drove home in my beat up Vauxhall Corsa, blaring out some random dance compilation CDs to drown out the anxiety bubbling in my gut. The car was a bit ugly, but it had a solid engine. If I ended up in a university away from home, I needed to make sure the damn thing still ran.
I parked the car onto the driveway and when I entered the house. It was quiet. The clock on the wall said a few minutes after 6pm. So, Mum and Dad weren’t back yet. I couldn’t tell with Emma, though.
Emma was a few years older than me.
But unlike me, she had her shit together.
She studied at a local university and as a result, stayed at home to save on accommodations. Her lectures were sporadic, and you never knew when she was home or not. She studied medicine, so she was a bit of a golden child as far as Mum and Dad were concerned. Not that I had problem with that, but while Ems was making the best use of her time, I was still kicking a football around and waiting for the next FIFA game to come out for my Xbox.
I headed upstairs for a shower. To make my day extra special, the heavens opened up, and I was drenched on my way to the car.
I peeled off my wet rags and bundled them up, about to stick them in the laundry bin, until something caught my eye.
It was a dark red, lacey ball of fabric.
I swallowed.
I picked them up and unfurled it. It was a pair of Emma’s knickers… I knew it was hers, because it was bundled together in a pair of her jeans. Mum didn’t wear jeans.
I wasn’t a pervert, honest. But something triggered inside me right then.
Emma was the only girl that didn’t make me nervous.
Okay, she was my sister, but she was a beautiful girl, too.
As a guy, you couldn’t help but appreciate a fine female body. Emma had a juicy, curvy ass, gorgeous face with ever so slightly plump lips. Lips that promised to do wicked things if you let them. She had big boobs too, at least more than and handful. The lads liked to give me shit about how I had a hot sister and kept asking me to help them hook up with her.
As if I was going to whore my own sister out like that.
But still… She was hot. In a refined and nerdy way. Emma wasn’t big on words and those who didn’t know her would think she was cold and unapproachable.
I licked my lips as I looked at the fabric in my hands. The gusset just had her dried-on juices. I didn’t know what came over me. I mean, I wasn’t hurting anyone…
My hands shook, the thrill of doing something I wasn’t supposed to, made my heart pound hard.
I pressed the thin material against my nose and inhaled.
Fucking hell.
A thick, pungent aroma flooded my nose. It was a sweet feminine scent with just the slightest hint of sourness to it. Did the smell disgust me? Not at all.
In my nakedness, my cock lurched to life.
“Fuck,” I growled.
I just wanted to know what a girl smelled like…
I should put it down and go for a fucking shower.
My other hand gripped my cock. It was awkward because I usually used my right hand, but I didn’t want to let go of the panties…
I jerked off furiously. Not even porn made me this aroused.
“Emma,” I whispered to nobody. It felt like a dirty little secret, which only made it even hotter.
I pounded hard, the urge to cum overwhelming me.
“Fucking hell Ems…” I groaned, picturing her naked, on her knees and encouraging me to rub it out.
I inhaled more, intoxicating myself with my own sister’s scent.
My cock swelled in my hand, and I had a second before the inevitable would happen.
I didn’t know why I did what I did. I pulled the panties down to my dick and, with a growl, I ejaculated. I shot load after load of my pent up cum into Emma’s panties. A strange primitive part of me aimed for the gusset, wanting my cum to coat over her stains. A dark thrill crawled up my spine as I indulged in a sick fantasy- picturing Emma walking around casually, oblivious and wearing her panties soaked with my semen. God, why did that sound so hot?
And then, something caught the corner of my eye.
I looked to the side, and there was Emma, watching me.
Watching my dick emptying itself into her panties…
Her stone cold expression gave nothing away. She simply turned and left.
Fuck.
***
Fuck. Shit. Bollocks.
I considered going after my sister. But what would I say? Sorry for jerking off into your panties?
Sorry for being a perverted little shit?
Oh, God.
I spent a few agonising hours in my bedroom. I felt safe and maybe I could stay in there forever. Or maybe I should plan on where to go when dad kicked me out later. I had like £50 in savings.
Fuck.
My anxiety shot through the roof when my parent’s car pull onto the drive.
Mum was going to make dinner and it wouldn’t be long before she was going to tell me to come downstairs.
I had a wash earlier, but it didn’t calm me down any. Fresh sweat bloomed all over my body.
I went downstairs, passing by Emma’s room on the way. The door looked more locked than it ever was before. What will she say to our parents? Maybe I should take the initiative, tell them myself that I accidentally jerked off into Emma’s panties.
Yeah, right.
Mum was busy humming away at an 80s pop song in her head and Dad was already in front of the TV catching up on his shows.
I smelled pasta sauce, so it was going to be a quick meal. Emma would be down in like 20 minutes.
I said hi to them and joined dad in the living room, my heart banging against my ribcage a million miles an hour.
Then, a few minutes later, I sensed Emma coming downstairs. Sensed, because she was light on her feet.
Mum made some commotion, the usual ‘how was your day’ and Emma’s usual response.
Mum called for me and dad to join them around the dining room table and that felt like the longest walk ever. I kinda felt like I was on death row or something.
I sat down, and Emma didn’t make eye contact with me. In fact, she sat farthest away from me.
Mum asked me what I did in college and all that. And I waited for Emma to spill the beans on me.
It never came.
Dad discussed tomorrow, the big Saturday date that they did once a month- Mum and Dad disappeared all day, a day just for them. Couldn’t blame them. It was one of the tricks to keeping their relationship healthy as far as Dad was concerned. I hoped I lived long enough to experience that for myself one day. We all convened in the living room and Emma sat on the other side of the sofa with Mum between us. Dad took the armchair.
We watched a few programmes, and I wondered if Emma felt the awkwardness hanging in the air. For some stupid reason, my head wandered to other thoughts other than imminent doom. I loved the way the glasses framed her face. Ems kinda looked like a much sexier version of Velma from Scooby-Doo, but with longer hair.
It was getting late and Dad yawned. Mum took that as a cue and they both retired for the night, leaving me alone with my sister.
When Mum and Dad were safety upstairs, Emma turned to look at me.
“We need to talk. You know what it’s about,” she said, her tone neutral.
I nodded, sucking in a breath.
“What I saw earlier in the bathroom… I wasn’t mistaken, was I?”
“No,” I managed to squeeze out.
“I’m disappointed in you, little brother. I thought you knew better than to play around with other people’s property.”
“I’m sorry. I just got carried away.”
“How did you get carried away doing something like that?”
“It’s just… I was horny, and I saw your pants and I just…” My face burned red. “I’m sorry. Please don’t think badly of me.”
Emma sighed. “You need a girlfriend. You cannot do things like that. You’ll turn into a deviant.”
“I tried, but I can’t. I’m no good with girls.”
“What do you mean? You’re generally a pleasant person. My assessments conclude that girls would want to date you.”
“That’s exactly it, girls do want to date me, but I can’t. I-I freeze up when I interact with them. I don’t know why exactly, but I’m not comfortable around other girls.”
“You’re okay with me and Mum…”
“That’s different I guess. You’re family.”
Emma stared at me intently, as if she was looking right into my soul. After what seemed like forever, she let out a deep sigh. “Just… Don’t do it again, okay?”
“Promise.”
“Okay.” She stood and went upstairs, leaving me feeling utterly ashamed and reprimanded.
***
Johnny lobbed the ball over to me, and I carved the ball into the net.
The friendly game ended. Me and the lads whooped and cheered at the victory.
It was only a kick about, but we take sometimes took it too seriously.
I knew I had potential, but deep down I doubt I’d make it to Premier League or anything. The most realistic path for me was uni, get a sports degree and be a coach or personal trainer or something.
That is, if I got over my morbid fear of interacting with women.
The boys congregated over the side of the field. I joined them and fished out my phone and bottle of energy drink. As usual, the guys were chatting up some girls who liked to hang around when we were playing. I tried to casually keep my distance while also looking like I’m with the group. The lads joked and teased the girls, and they walked off.
“What do you reckon?” Johnny asked all of a sudden.
“What?”
“Them birds. They are going to the club tonight. We’re joining them. You should come.”
“I got other things to do…”
“C’mon bro, you always blowing us off,” Eric said, suddenly wrapping his arm around my head, putting me in a headlock. “Don’t be a pussy. Come for a drink with us. And get laid.”
I pried myself out of his arms and my phone lit up. It was a message from Emma.
[Are you free later?]
It was Saturday and Mom and Dad were gone. Maybe sis needed me to do something with her.
[Sure, just on the field with the lads]
[I will be home later. I have something to discuss with you.]
Okay, can’t tell if that was good or not.
“I’ll even buy you a pint!” Johnny said.
“Can’t. Got plans with Emma,” I said, holding my phone up as if it was a get out of jail free card.
“Tell your sis she can make plans with me anytime,” Johnny said, grabbing his nuts.
The other lads laughed with him.
I smirked and flipped them the bird.
***
I headed straight home and went to the bathroom to wash the muck off. I stopped at the laundry bin again and guilt washed all over me. The contents were calling to me like a moth to a flame. I chastised myself for even considering it- I made a damn promise to my sister.
I shoved my dirty gear into the bin, and rinsed myself off as clean as possible. Then I pulled on a T-shirt and shorts and went downstairs.
With a bowl of cornflakes for lunch, I settled down to a couple of rounds of Call of Duty in the living room. I didn’t even hear Emma come in.
She dropped a few medical tomes in front of me on the coffee table.
“Got a minute?”
“Sure.”
“So, I did some research regarding your compulsion.”
“Wait, what? There’s a medical issue with sniffing panties?”
“Not that. Your anxiety when it comes to interacting with women.”
“Okay?”
“Do you know what gynophobia is?” she asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Just that it’s a phobia of some sort?”
“Correct. A fear of women. Any idea what might have triggered it?”
A fear of women? Can’t say I ever been attacked by a girl or anything. I heard of people developing a fear of dogs after they’ve been bitten, though.
“Don’t think so.”
“Think harder. It might not seem like a big deal, or something that happened recently. Like a subconscious fear buried deep down.”
“Uhh…” I made a focused effort to think up times I had a bad experience with women.
Then an event dislodged in the back of my head.
“Sally Saunders.”
Sally was a girl I had a massive crush on at school. I was 13 or 14 at the time. At the height of my puberty, I chanced it and told her I fancied her.
Not only did Sally reject me, she laughed at me and others joined in. I was a weirdo for asking her out, go figure. I was known as ‘Spotty Leo’ back then, due to my acne issues. Thankfully, it all cleared up now.
I was traumatised back then, though.
I couldn’t face going to school and my parents ended up transferring me to another school. With everything going on, I kinda forgot about it. I assumed my nervousness around girls was just me being shy.
Maybe it was more than that.
“I’m going to help you,” Emma said.
“How? Take me to therapy?”
“I can see two issues you’re dealing with right now; your irrational fear of women, and your intense libido. That’s the only logical conclusion I can hypothesize.”
“Uhh, I suppose. So what do you propose? Lock me in a room with girls until I don’t feel nervous around them?”
“Take off your shorts,” she said suddenly.
“What?”
“Strip. You need to desensitise yourself. There’s no way you can do it with another girl and I don’t trigger your anxiety, so I’m the only one who can help you.”
“I don’t know if I can. It’s kinda weird.”
“Not as weird as me walking in on my little brother masturbating into my panties.”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
“Just teasing you,” Emma replied, deadpan.
I gave out a sigh and looked up to the ceiling, as if there were going to be answers written up there. I really don’t need to go to university being afraid of women. It would be hell.
“Okay, fuck it. Let’s do this.”
I didn’t feel nervous in that way, not the anxiety inducing way- that felt different. But it didn’t mean I was comfortable whipping my dick out in front of my sister.
I pushed the band of my shorts down, together with my boxers.
A gasp escaped her lips.
“What?”
“Nothing. I didn’t expect you to be so… big.”
“Really?” I looked down. I guess it was big, but the only other penises I saw were in porn and they all looked around my size.
Emma sat there on her knees in front of me and I was standing there with my dick out. The way she looked at me… Laser focused and intense, made me feel like a lab rat.
“Well?”
“Oh, right.”
I grabbed my floppy dick and gave it a few strokes. Emma couldn’t keep her eyes off it.
Maybe it was the strangeness of the situation, but my dick wasn’t getting hard. I usually did it in the privacy of my bedroom, one hand on my dick and the other holding my phone, streaming some porn. I’d usually have the volume on silent, but if there wasn’t anyone around, I’d indulge myself in the sound of the girls moaning.
This was completely different.
It was the middle of the day, in the living room, and Emma was watching.
“What’s wrong? Isn’t this how guys masturbate?” she asked.
“I can’t seem to relax,” I replied, tugging away at my dick uselessly.
“Oh. Well, do you need some visual aid?”
Maybe some porn would help. “Yeah, sure.”
All of a sudden, Emma pulled her top over her head. In seconds, Emma went from clothed to being topless, her breasts covered up by her bra.
Jesus. Whatever porn I saw up till now, it didn’t compare to the full, voluptuous tits Emma had. They were so big and round, and way more than a handful.
My cock throbbed, and I felt it harden in my hand.
I pumped and pumped. Sometimes I had my eyes closed, still feeling semi self-conscious of Emma’s penetrating gaze, and sometimes I tried not to feast my eyes on her fantastic breasts.
She didn’t seem bothered by me looking at them.
I still wasn’t rock-hard, though.
“What’s wrong? Is it this hard for men to induce arousal?”
“I dunno, still feels a bit hard to fully relax.”
It was weird, but Emma’s eyes had a strange, glazed over look. As if she was mesmerized by my hand movements.
“That is understandable. These are peculiar circumstances, after all. Let me help.”
She reached out and grabbed my shaft, pushing my hand away.
“Oh crap!” I cried out, not used to the sudden sensation of someone else’s hand on my dick. Emma’s hand felt silky soft and warm against my throbbing shaft. I hardened immediately.
“Much better,” she breathed.
My dick inflated until she couldn’t wrap her fingers around my thickness anymore. It grew to its full size in my sister’s hand. Her fingers danced up and down along my shaft until it curved and pointed towards her.
I stood there ramrod straight, not really knowing where to put my hands.
Emma kept pumping away, slowly and methodically, almost in sync with her breathing, which seemed to me to be a bit more laboured than normal. Her face was so close to my cock, I felt the warmth of her breath brushing against my dick.
It was all so surreal and exciting.
A drop of precum beaded out of my slit and ran down, coating my sister’s fingers.
“Oh shit, sorry,” I said.
“That’s okay. I don’t mind it.”
I swallowed down a gulp.
My heart pounded hard against my ribcage. Emma seemed happy to do… this for me. I wanted to chance something. She was so perfect, so beautiful, and I wanted to see more of her…
“Ems, do you think… If you wouldn’t mind… Think you can give me more of a visual aid?”
She looked up at me, an eyebrow raised. Her hand still kept pumping away at my cock and if I didn’t know any better, I swear she was giving me a slightly bemused look.
She reached around with her free hand and unhooked the straps of her bra.
Her bra fell away, and I groaned.
Emma’s massive tits bounced freely as she jerked me off. Her grip tightened even more. It felt amazing, with my precum lubing up my shaft.
But her tits… Fucking hell, I haven’t seen anything so perfect in my life. Her nipples were as hard as acorns, with a blushing of brown around them. Her breasts were so big and natural, and the sight of them sent a bolt of excitement that went straight to my dick.
“Am I doing this correctly?” she asked, moving her hand maddeningly slowly up my shaft and giving it a delicious twist at the tip.
“Y-yeah sis. Feels even better than when I do it myself.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled at me and her face blushed a little.
They say that when you’re aroused, you gave off a smell. I wondered if Emma could smell my arousal, but if she did, she didn’t seem to mind it.
My balls tightened. That familiar tell-tale sign threatened to overwhelm me soon. It was all too much; her velvety soft hand on my cock, her gorgeous breasts bouncing in time to her hand movements… The very fact that my own sister, by all intents and purposes, was jerking me off right now…
“Oh god, Ems, you need to stop. I’m going to cum…” I groaned.
But she didn’t stop. If anything, she tightened her grip on my desperate, aching cock. I bit down on my lip, my fingers clenching and digging into my palms. Anything to stay the inevitable.
I cried out. My cock swelled for one last time and I came.
Emma had her eyes down on my cock, her hand a rapid blur as she pumped and pumped. She yelped as the first load of cum blasted forth and hit her square in the face. Then another load shot out just as violently. Then another.
Ropes of cum blasted out, coating Emma’s beautiful face and hair. Because she gasped, some of it landed in her mouth and glossed over her lips. But her hand didn’t stop. She kept milking me, coaxing the rest of the cum out of me.
The rest streaked downwards, hitting her chest and painting all over her cleavage. I grunted and moaned uncontrollably, at the complete mercy of Emma’s pumping hand and not stopping until I emptied my balls out all over her.
Only when my semen was reduced to droplets, did Emma let go. I staggered backwards, spent and weak, and barely managed to stay upright.
“How did that feel?” she whispered.
“G-good,” I admitted.
“I meant if it triggered any anxiety.”
“Oh. Y-yeah, nothing triggered. I just felt good.”
She simply nodded.
I didn’t know if she was aware of it, but she licked her lips, seemingly not bothered about the taste of my cum in her mouth. The sight of it made my cock twinge with need again.
Almost methodically, as such was the way with many of things Emma did, she folded her blouse up neatly and draped it over her arm.
“I’m going to go clean up. I will help you with your condition when I have the time.”
“Okay,” I answered.
Emma walked off, not concerned about her exposed breasts. I kept my eyes on them, bouncing as she took each step upstairs, trying to commit the image to memory.
Wait, did she say she will continue to help with my condition?
===
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