Stay at my side Ch.4 [best friends][sharing clothes][sleepover]

Chapter 4: Not only girlfriends get hoodies

I laid on his sofa. Face down, trying to forget about the things I heard last night.

When I was ten my mom lost her job. At first it wasn’t a problem. Dad had inherited enough money from his parents to replace her loan for the next 10 years. Of course we didn’t plan on using the money that way but it was a solution until she found a new job.

The years passed and my mother stayed a stay-at-home mum. When we sat together she always told us how difficult it would be to find a job but she was happy to spend more time with us. As I grew older I understood what was really going on. My mum didn’t even tried to find a new job and the excuse that it was for the kids would have worked if she would have been there for us more. What she wasn’t.

Dad broke under the weight he had to carry. He had to care about us kids and earn enough money for everyone. When I was sixteen he started smoking again which he stopped after I was born. My mum hated it but didn’t say anything at first. Over time they separated from each other but held together for their kids’ sake. Mum didn’t even care when she found out that dad slept with one of his coworkers. They just agreed to bring no one home and to not be jealous.

Seeing your parents like this was definitely not good for a child but it was still better than to have two families. That’s what I thought back then. My opinion changed when they started arguing more often.  It was about small things at first but the fights became bigger and bigger until last night my mum said that he made a really bad job at parenting while she was out because she “had to find herself again”. This was nonsense. She just chilled at home and dad may not have been the best one at replacing her job but he did his best. That was also the exact thing he told her as an answer but she explained further that he was the reason their marriage failed because “he stopped trying”.

That was when dad lost his temper. He screamed at her all the things you never wanna hear your parents say to each other. Even if I would have wanted to remember the exact words. I couldn’t, my brain erased them from my memory to prevent trauma. I didn’t need a psychologist to know that. The argument ended with the words “I won’t stay with you. Not even for the kids.”

It was one in the morning at that point but I couldn’t sleep for the next two hours. Instead I laid in my bed. Crying. Thinking about going downstairs to talk to them. Thinking about running away. Thinking about calling Mathew, which I only didn’t because I didn’t wanna wake him up in the middle of the night. My whole world fell apart, I didn’t wanna risk to make the one person that never made me cry, mad at me by waking him up.

In the morning I was able to make myself look like I did sleep for more than three hours and managed to put a smile on my face. I paid attention in class and could distract myself like this for a while. Then came sport class.

Because everyone ran separately, I was left alone with my thoughts. My mind wandered to my family and I noticed how a tear ran down my right cheek. I ran faster and somehow managed to distract myself with it. I knew that I couldn’t run forever like this. This was when I saw Matt behind me.

I just let myself fall into his arms. After he gave me his water and I clinched myself onto him, I didn’t know what to say. It felt good to be held by him. I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore but I didn’t matter anyway. No matter how far I would fall, Matt would always catch me.

I knew that I ruined his run. I knew that I drank all his water. I knew that I wasn’t there for him as much as he was for me. I just wanted to thank him but a simple thank you would never be enough. Originally I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, to make him know I also cared about him. I totally forgot that he could say it back.

I never knew that you could feel such in such intensity. As bad as my parents hurt me, the feeling I got after he told be he also loved me was almost from the same strength. I wanted to be even closer to him but if hugged him even tighter I would probably have hurt him. The only possible way to satisfy the need to be close to him was…

I still wasn’t sure whether it was right to kiss him or not. But he seemed happy afterwards and it was just a little bit embarrassing. It also was just on the cheek, friends could do that right?

“Casey?” Right, I still laid on his couch. He looked at me from above. His hair was wet and he wore different clothes than before. “You can shower now if you want.” Well it was pretty obvious that he showered but my brain worked a bit slower than usual.

I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom. I peeled my clothes of, that still stuck to my skin and turned on the shower. The water rinsed down the seat and the memories from last night. I knew that I had to face all this shit one day but currently I was safe.

I started soaping myself up. I started with my arms and then ran my hands down my side all the way to my feet. I traced the inside of my calves and my thighs. I just shaved three days ago and you couldn’t see any hair on any part of my body. You could only feel it. I gently caressed the part just above my womanhood. When I stroked downwards it felt smooth. Upwards you could feel the little hairs poking through the skin. I was kind of mesmerized by this that I didn’t noticed that there wasn’t even soap on my hands anymore. A little bit ashamed I quickly put on new soap and scrubbed my stomach before I moved on to my breasts. They were pretty medium sized with little puffy nipples. Nothing to be proud about.

Before I could waste even more time looking at my body. I washed off the foam and stepped out of the shower. I opened my bag and looked after things I could wear. I had no usable pair of panties. A sports bra which also wasn’t reusable. A sweaty shirt, my used leggings but I found a pair of shorts I packed as an alternative for leggings.

Great, almost a full outfit. I almost broke out in tears when I realized how dumb I was. I caught myself when I saw something laying in the corner. A Hoodie. Matthew’s hoodie. It wasn’t fresh but it smelled way better than my stuff and it would also solve the problem with the bra. I tried it on. It was big, even for Mathew and I had to admit it was one of the first clothes I really liked on myself. Then it hit me. What I did was totally creepy. I just stood in his bathroom and tried his clothes on.

“Case?!” (Not a mistake, just a nickname) shouted Mathew from the other side of the door. “Your Pizza is getting cold.” I didn’t knew what to do. I had only his hoodie to wear. The alternative was to go topless. Mathew would have found a solution if he was in my situation. He always found a solution… “Matt?” I was quiter than expected. “I don’t have a shirt.” He understood me anyway. “Umm… there should be a hoodie somewhere in the corner next to the shower. You can have it or I can get you something.” Why the fuck did he remembered the exact position of his clothes?! I smiled. I wanted to keep this hoodie on anyway and now I had his permission. I stepped out of the bath. “You look kinda cute in this.” He surprised me. “Don’t say that.” We both smiled. Then laughed. The situation was ridiculous because we both knew that we totally seemed like a couple. Especially because of his hoodie.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/vc9eqd/stay_at_my_side_ch4_best_friendssharing