A Spiritual Awakening [F]

Oh, to be a young woman again. So starved for something I didn’t even know I wanted. Something all of my friends did, regardless of gender.

Nearing adulthood, I was far behind those around me. I wasn’t expecting to find something so addicting and yet so fulfilling.

I had heard about masturbating my entire teenage life. I never explicitly found out what it was. I was scolded by adults for mentioning it, and the kids my age kept it hush hush in favor of not wanting to get caught saying something inappropriate. And for years, that’s the way it stayed.

One night, mom and dad were out of town for the weekend. They trusted me to keep to myself responsibly for one night. They had done it before. I had long since reached the age of maturity and was definitely capable of making one or two meals for myself.

After making myself dinner, I turned on the TV for background noise while I did some homework on my laptop. When I was done, I proceeded to scroll through Instagram until I came across a meme that told a joke that went something along the lines of “when your parents catch you masturbating” or something like that.

There’s that word again. Masturbating.

And that other word. *Catch?* You can only get “caught” doing something bad, or so I think.

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me. Never before had I thought of simply looking it up, in fear of it actually being as bad as I think it is. So I decided, if it *is* bad, then I can simply strike it out of my search history with a click of a button.

And so I did. I typed “what is masturbating?” into the search bar and lingered on the “enter” button. Why was this so difficult? Finally, I took a deep breath, and pressed the button.

Oh my.

“To stimulate one’s own genitals for sexual pleasure.”

What does that mean? Pleasure? To…feel good?

So masturbating is just your genitals feeling good?

I clicked on images and was greeted with vaginal diagrams and labels, cartoonish men and women with their hands in their underwear, and even funny stuff like a picture of a person gripping a banana.

Okay…not so bad. I was expecting it to be far worse, due to the reactions of those around me.

Reluctantly, I took my hand and placed it on my vagina. Nothing.

*Well, you wash it in the shower all the time.* I thought.

So I started moving my hand. Nothing was really happening. All of the people in the images seemed to be having a good time. My experience was just…boring.

So I made a second Google search.

“How to masturbate.”

I was greeted with a ton of articles, more diagrams, and more fruit.

I took a look at a preview for one of the articles. “Pull back the hood of your clitoris, and with a finger, firmly press on it and rub in circular motions.”

*What the hell is a clitoris?*

I went back to my previous search and found that diagram from before of female anatomy. I studied it until I found what was clearly labeled “clitoris.”

*Oh, that’s what that’s called?*

So I went back to the second search once more, placed a finger on my clit over my panties, and followed the directions to a tee. This felt a little better, but it still wasn’t exactly mind-blowing.

Then a word came to my head from the definition: “sexual.”

Then I got an idea.

My parents warned me about a restricted channel on the cable that they couldn’t figure out how to block, and strictly instructed me not to touch it.

Well, now I gotta look at it.

And holy shit did I find a gold mine. Several rated R sex themed movies, pornos, and leaked sex tapes flooded my sight. Girls Gone Wild commercial reruns, shit you’d find on the internet.

I closed my laptop, and surfed this restricted channel until I found something that piqued my interest. I came across a video of a man and a woman having sex.

Instantly, my heart began to race. I started to feel all hot. Both my body and my vagina. I pulled my panties off and opened my legs to fully expose my wet, glistening pussy to the cool, air conditioned room. Once more, I followed the directions. Slowly, the tingling began to get more intense. My breathing got heavier, and I felt even hotter.

I wanted more.

I opened my laptop and surfed through the internet a little bit more to find out more about how to masturbate.

I found even more great stuff. Stuff about fingers, toys…

…G spots.

Fuck it.

I dipped my two middle fingers into the opening and was overcome with a feeling of excitement. It felt so warm and wet. I slid them all the way in and gasped sharply at the unexpected feeling. I curled my finger upwards in an attempt to find this aforementioned G spot.

Then, I felt something spongy, and it felt EXTREMELY sensitive.

I went back to rubbing my clit. Simultaneously, I hooked my fingers back into my vagina and found this spongy little spot again. I rubbed both with a fair amount of pressure. All the while, this woman on the screen is GREATLY enjoying this man’s company. I imagined I was her. I moaned loudly and then giggled. I wasn’t expecting any noise to come out of my mouth. It was amazing. There was nothing like it.

I bit my lip and moaned under my breath, all while fully enjoying this porno in front of me. Several minutes later, I began to feel something. The tingling intensified exponentially, my vagina began to tighten. I could feel pressure building up fast. I knew that there was only so far the pressure could go before it was released. I couldn’t stop now. There was no turning back.

Finally, the “pressure” was released. It was like emptying a bladder after a 4 hour car trip, only far better. My vagina began to squeeze with immense pressure around my fingers, pulsating like a heartbeat. Clear, warm fluid leaked from my vagina. The entirety of my genitals was now extremely sensitive and warm. I panted, struggling to gain the air back into my lungs. Finally, the pulsating stopped. My breathing slowed back to normal, and I was now more relaxed than I’d ever been in my life. I sat intently and finished the porno that was on screen. I grabbed the remote, my fingers damp from my fluids, and excited the channel before turning off the TV. I got up from the couch, now with a damp spot on it, and did my best to clean up. I washed my hands, wiped off the remote, and tried to sop up most of my juices from the couch. After my extensive cleanup was done, I sat back on the couch.

That was incredible.

…I kinda wanna do it again.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/v79tbz/a_spiritual_awakening_f