*Gabe*
I’m sorry I have to do what?
I thought I was going to sit and have a bunch of girl’s try to make me cum for some money.
Nope.
Well they did tell me there was going to be ‘*games*’ and all that.
But I didn’t think they would start them off the bat.
After our little stay in the room yesterday where we pretty much fucked the day away, which I would have been completely ok with if that’s all we did the entire trip I’m being completely honest, and slept. We woke up kind of late and had to rush to check in for these *games*.
Summer and Kel were guided away, along with Nadia, and I was guided to another location.
Then I stood around with a bunch of guy’s to a god damn **crowd**!!!
I looked around to see guy’s standing with their dicks hanging out while the **crowd** hoots and holders at us imbecile’s.
We stood around for what felt like *forever* until a guy comes out and starts announcing and going over the rules for this cruises *games*.
Then the announcer introduces us to the judge’s. Most of whom I have no idea about beyond that most are girl’s and most are *repping* a porn studio.
*GGGRRRREEEEEAAAAAATTTTTTT*
Ok I’ll admit a *few* of the judges were kind of hot but still I didn’t want judges being from a fucking porn studio.
I had already saved Kel from a porn studio. I didn’t need the extra attention as I stood there with other contestants as my fucking dick was hanging out.
*Sigh*
Guess it can’t be helped.
Then the announcer tells us about this *first*competition as were led to a stair case completely covered in plastic. At each flight, which there are five, there will be a test that will allow us to continue up or fall to our doom.
The doom being going back to the bottom.
Oh and the *ENTIRE* area: stairs, floors, walls and barriers are covered in baby oil.
And to make matters worse, us contestants will be covered in baby oil as well.
And this was the **first** game.
Yeah this was going to be a shit show.
Funny for everyone watching. For us contestants not so much.
What’s the prize at the top you ask?
$5,000, an entry into the lotto for bigger prizes that will be handed out at the end of the night and credit at the island’s that will be visiting tomorrow.
So I have to get up the stairs. Pass the tests at each, I counted, 10 step interval. All while myself and the area is covered in baby oil without eating shit.
That’s if I want to move into the next round that is.
Yeah I see **A LOT** of falling in my future.
I was half tempted to just sit at beginning and let these idiots try their hardest to climb those stairs without testing to see if gravity still works.
My bet was that gravity will be a fickle bitch.
But if I wanted to get my dick sucked I had to win this challenge….or at least take second place if I heard the announcer correctly.
I looked around to hear the fairer sex laughing and some yelling at one of the guys standing around trying not to fall.
A girl walked up to us handing each of us a big ass bottle of oil to drench ourselves in.
I looked at the bottle thinking *you can’t be serious?*
But I sighed and upended the bottle over my head letting the oil pour over my body until the bottle was empty and began rubbing the oil all over my body.
Then us six ‘*contestants* stood at the barrier just mere steps away from the *course* and waited for the whistle to blow.
As I stood there I couldn’t help but think this whole *course* looked like it was pulled from some foreign game show. Just twenty times more funny….and lewd.
I just wasn’t seeing the comedy in it.
The whistle was blown and I made it exactly two steps before my feet *magically* was above my head and I did my first gravity check as I somersaulted and glided into the barrier.
Looks like my tall stature wasn’t going to help me in this event.
At least I wasn’t the only idiot that didn’t make it far before they were careening into the barrier.
I stood up again and was immediately on my back as my air left me gasping.
Ok standing was out of the question.
Maybe I should crawl and hope I get further than two steps.
I did make three strides before one of the guy’s who actually made it to the second step of the stairs before he unceremoniously fell and started gliding towards the starting point. And in the process taking me and two other guys with him to the barrier.
Crap!
Ok fuck this.
I used my feet and pushed off towards the stairs as I became my own boogie board as I slid on my stomach until I reached the stairs.
Then I started crawling on the stairs taking each step up one careful movement at a time.
I made it to the fourth step before I found myself sliding backwards until I lost my imaginary grip and picked up speed until I slammed against the barrier.
I was getting no where with this.
Still I tried different approaches.
I tried climbing the stairs while I was next to a wall being away from the middle as that was where all the idiots kept going and falling as they took everyone with them.
That *sort* of worked but I was moving slowly making sure my hands, knees and feet didn’t slip….or I didn’t start randomly moving backwards for no reason.
That is until I got to the first landing and my dumbass stood to cheer I had made it to the first test.
And I was back at the barrier because during my mini celebration I slipped and traveled down the stairs at neck breaking speed as I twisted and clotheslined everyone’s ankles and taking them with me on my way down.
This shit sucks. Though from the laughter coming from the crowd it seemed like they were enjoying the show that us bubbling baboons were putting on for them.
I guess if I were in the other side I would be laughing too but I was too focused on not hurting myself.
I tried to get up but I was already getting exhaust by this little activity as I knew I was sweating like a pig.
I got up and retried my tactic of staying close to the wall using it for support as I gingerly crawled up the stairs….again.
Apparently one of my comrades in this laugh fest had already made it to the first flight **and** unlike me he somehow remained upright without falling to do the first task.
He turned to the wall hitting the button that was there.
The wall dropped down to show one of the cute judges from earlier as lights behind her that displayed ‘*whack*’ and ‘*fuck*’.
She took one look at him and smiled as the light on ‘*whack*’ became bright.
Now I had **no** idea what that meant as the guy didn’t either.
But the judge did as she brought out this gun looking thing that looked like it was made out of pvc pipe.
She quickly took aim and fired causing the man to double over and proceed to fall down the stairs and tripping the remaining player’s who were still trying to get up.
I looked down at where he was to see a small nerf ball was right where he was.
What the Fuck!!!
I gulped as this would be my fate but had to do it.
Only problem it was on the other side of the flight if stairs.
I looked behind me to see if there was a button but no luck.
I looked down at my comrades to see them slipping and sliding trying to get back up.
Not seeing any real option I pushed off my wall in a diagonal direction towards the next set of stairs hoping I don’t take another tumble down the stairs and have to start all over again.
I slid across having no real way to guide myself in a straight line as I found myself approaching the edge ready to go down but I reached out catching myself on the only thing that kept me in place….the button.
I gathered up my courage hoping I don’t eat it as I stand up and pushed the button.
Just like the previous guy the wall fell down to show one of the judge’s as she looked me up and down before smiling.
*Fuck* was lit up and the judge motioned for me to show her my bracelet.
I did as she asked not really understanding the meaning as she pulled out her cell and scanned my bracelet.
Satisfied she scanned my bracelet a loud noise was heard nearly scaring the shit out of me as I watched dividers below me in the walls extend out.
I blinked in apprehension.
I just helped the other players get to the first landing of stairs more easier…..sort of.
The dividers that extended only came out a couple of feet but the divider’s were every other step on either side.
So if any of us were to fall and went down the middle we would travel all the way down.
Well most of us….I had some reach that I could *possibly* save myself from tumbling all the way down to the bottom.
I turned my attention to the next set of stairs and reapplied my previous tactic hugging myself against the wall and gingerly climb-crawl my way up.
At least that was my plan. When I took my first gingerly hand on the first step I noticed there was a slight downward angle in the step.
At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me but my *suspicion* was confirmed when one of my *buddies* took one step on the slightly altered step and proceeded to eat plastic before tumbling down taking two of his mates down the center of slip and slide with him.
I sat there for an extra second to alter my approach but the best I could come up with was take my approach *more* gingerly.
So I resumed climbing.
Each shift of my weight as I crawled up I felt like I was going to lose my hold with each step but somehow I was able to keep my hold with each step I got up until I made the second flight to where I had to face a challenge.
I looked around for the button to start the challenge but couldn’t find it….until one of my competitors stepped right in the middle of the landing as I heard something from the top of the challenge and caught in time to watch a big boulder looking thing that looked like an inflated breast smack him the head and watched him fly back off the second landing.
I quickly laid down hoping none of the inflated breasts hit me and knocked me off the second landing as I tried to use my finger tips and toes against the wall to hold me in place.
I felt quite a few of the inflated breasts hit me making me think they were just inflated rubber balls painted to look like a breast.
I waited and waited until I heard a sound but ignored it as I remained in place making sure the tit balls were done flying.
My patience was rewarded as I saw some feet next me before a *boink* sounded followed closely by an *oh shit* as the idiot fell.
I looked up to make sure there was no more inflated tits flying my way as I looked back to see the majority of my competitors near the bottom of the course all while my happy ass remained where I was.
I looked forward to see nothing was flying at me before I started to move and resumed my weird crawl attack as I climbed the next set of stairs and found the next obstacle.
Looks like this set of stairs every third step was slightly more angled.
I felt for the more angled step and simply by passed it using my long stride as this set of stairs seemed easier to my pass.
My patience rewarded me as I got to the third floor of the course.
I was about to think of where or what the challenge on this floor was as my question was automatically answered by a siren and two girls on both sides stepped out.
Both had back packs strapped to their backs with what looked like water pistols attached to them.
I didn’t think as I quickly flattened myself to the floor and felt a literal spray of warm liquid grace me before I watched them turn their attention to the climbing horde of guy’s until their pistols ran dry. Then they simply stepped back as the walls went back up and I realized what exactly they sprayed….more oil.
I couldn’t move as I kept slipping and flopping down. Feeling my slow slide back I stopped panicking that I couldn’t do shit and simply waited to let myself calm down.
I looked back to see the remaining guy’s couldn’t even stand before simply dancing in place and was back down on the ground.
If I fucked up here I was done.
I had to do something but what?
I first tried to stretch out my hands and used my finger strength to help slip my along until I hit the stairs but didn’t get very far before I felt myself begin to slide back.
That wasn’t going to work.
Think damn it!!!
There had to be something that could help.
I reached out again but was too far away from the stairs and had too much oil on and around me to get any grip on anything.
Maybe….
I kicked off the wall launching my tall ass towards the stairs. With the extra oil I felt like I was flying **WAY** too fast to where I was going to bounce and join my comrades.
I stuck my hands out and grabbed onto the first thing I could hoping I would be saved.
And to my surprise I was able to grab onto the stair.
Apparently they didn’t tightly wrap these stairs with plastic as they padded all these stairs so us idiots falling so much wouldn’t get hurt. And that was fine with me.
I grabbed the padding and was able I pull myself toward the stairs.
I reached out to grab the next stair to see if it’s padding wasn’t wrapped tight enough as well to find it wasn’t so once again I hoisted myself up.
I lightly wondered if they meant to do this or if it was an accident. If they meant to do this the question was why.
No sooner had I pondered the question as I reached out for the next step in the corner of my eye one of my comrades took one step onto the lightly padded stair slipped, fell and the angle sent him on his way down as he became a human bowling ball knocking down the human pins as he traveled down.
Well that answered that question.
I returned my focus and rinsed and repeated my tactic slowly going up the stairs until I hit the second to last flight before I was king of the stairs.
I was so close to winning though I didn’t think I’d make it up the first flight of stairs but now that I was passed forth there seemed to be a light at the end of this fucked up game that I’m sure looking from the outside looked fun as hell but actually doing this course was grueling as hell.
I looked around to find the *test* to pass this floor too afraid to find out what it was.
I looked and found a button.
I was so happy it was next to me but I needed to get up to get to it.
I got up onto my knees to reach for the button as I thought *please don’t be fucked up and send me down* as I pressed it.
As soon as I pressed the button my heart dropped as the wall partition next to me dropped and a woman stepped out.
She wore sandals that wrapped up around her ankles and up her calf. She wore some type of skirt. A metal helmet with fur on top. And a cape wrapped around her.
Her tits were hanging out.
And she had a smug smile on her face.
I looked at her thinking two things *Is she dressed up as a Spartan?* and *I’m fucked.*
The woman screamed “THIS IS…” as I heard the crowd finish the chant “SPARTA!!!!”
She brought up her leg about to kick me into the abyss below but I immediately thought *Oh no you don’t bitch* and did the only thing I could think of…..I grabbed the back of her foot and pulled.
The wanna be Spartan lost her balance and landed on her ass…. In front of me.
I grabbed her by the ankle and her thigh and tossed her to the side ultimately pushing her off the landing and down into the guys.
I scrambled and crawled as fast as I could towards the stairs as I slipped but wasn’t too bad.
I climbed the last flight of stairs and ultimately made it to the top of the summit hitting the button on the pedestal signaling I won.
I had done it!!!
I had fucking WON!!!
Now the only thing I needed was electrolytes!
As I stood there just basking in that I had won I lightly thought…..how were the girl’s doing in their challenges?
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