Losing My Faith [M/F, religious]

Sorry in advance for any grammatical errors as I wrote this on the notes of my phone. Let me know what you think! Any feedback is welcome as I’m new to this!

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Sitting in church was always boring, but today was different. Today the congregation welcomed a new preacher.

I had been coming to the same church with my parents ever since I was a child. I turned eighteen about a month ago and I know I could tell them that I didn’t want to come anymore but it would break their hearts. Listening to pastor Johnathon go on and on every Sunday for my entire life so far had gotten unbearable. This lifestyle had just gotten stale.

My parent’s and our church always preached about abstinence, saving yourself for marriage, blah blah blah. It partially worked. I had never had actual sex with anyone but what my parents didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

I often used the family computer to watch porn when they weren’t home. It started off simple. I wanted to know what a boys dick looked like so I searched it one day. Then I wanted to know what they did with it. That’s also how I figured out how to use my fingers, my hairbrush, and anything else that was vaguely phallic shaped.

Being sheltered from all of this stuff just built up my desire to do all the things they preached against. I was scared though. The thought of potentially getting pregnant, catching an STD, it was all scary still.

I realized I was drifting off into my mind while I sat in the pews listening to pastor Johnathon drone on, but then there was clapping. I snapped out of it and saw him standing on the stage at the front.

Logan was the new preacher at our church. He was going to be handling weekend services and also Sunday school for the little ones. My heart raced, I froze. He was a little over six feet tall and had on a blue plaid shirt tucked into pleated black dress pants. His hair was slicked and parted to the right. He pulled his sleeves up and I could see tattoos covering his arms. I couldn’t believe they let him on here. He was definitely giving off that “I’m the cool preacher” vibe but it was definitely working. I felt my panties start to get wet so I whispered to my parents that I had to use the restroom and would be right back.

I guess you could say I was sexually frustrated. At eighteen you would think I would have already lost my virginity but I was always torn. Do I break every promise I’ve made to my parents and the church for a moment of fun? I had no problem masturbating in private, but losing my virginity was a whole other story.

I pulled my pants down and felt my panties peel from me. They were soaked. I reached down and pressed my finger against my clit, rubbing it slowly. I tried my best to imagine him. His hair. His tattoos. Fuck he was hot. But he was a preacher! What was I thinking?

I moved my hand down and slid my finger inside myself. I knew what I was thinking. I was thinking about the pictures on the computer. Did his dick look like those? Was it big like the ones online? I started fingering myself faster.

What if he fucked me? What if he took my virginity. That had to be the best option for me, right? It’s not some random boy, if my preacher took my virginity then he could do it correctly so I wouldn’t break my faith. I just didn’t know how I could manage something like that though.

I closed my eyes harder and pushed another finger in. I was so close to cumming. I wanted him. I wanted him to do it. My mind was made up. Preacher Logan could take my virginity and it would be the correct way to do things. My breathing got louder as I pushed myself to the edge imagining if his cock was like the rest I saw.

Right as I was about to cum, I heard the door to the bathroom open.

“Honey, are you okay in here? You left pretty fast. You’re not sick are you? If you’re sick we can go,” my mom said from the doorway.

“No, I’m fine. I’m alright,” I said out of breath. It sure didn’t sound like I was alright though.

A few days had passed and I finally thought I came up with a plan. I would give a confession. That’s what those booths are for anyway, right? I could just come clean and not only would I be doing right by God, Logan would know my problems and be able to help me! I went downstairs and let my parents know I was going to be going to the church to help out for a little while. I gave my mom a kiss and my dad a hug and headed out.

Once I was at the church pastor Johnathon welcomed me.

“What brings you in,” he asked me.

“I, uh, I was w-wondering if I could do a, uh,” my heart was racing. I was so unbelievably nervous. “I wanted to give a confession,” I finally let out.

“Sure, sure. I’m a little busy with paperwork right now. I know that Logan is new here and all but would you feel comfortable if he listened to your confessions, if that’s a problem I would be glad to-” he was cut off.

“That’s fine, that’s fine. Logan can do it,” I said.

I made my way to the confession booth and heard him sit on the other side.

“Bless me father for I have sinned. This is my first time,” I said through the opening.

“Please, what have you done,” he asked me.

My throat went dry.

“There is a lot. I am afraid I am losing my faith. My sexual desires are so overwhelming. It seems like the only thing on my mind lately is that I’m a virgin and that I want that too change. I haven’t prayed, I haven’t asked God what to do. I’m lost and I’m sorry,” I confessed.

“My child, you are a virgin?” He asked me with an intent.

“Yes, I’m a virgin,” I said quietly back.

“And you are torn between practicing your faith and losing your virginity?” His voice sounded so soft but so direct.

“Yes, I wish that I could just get it over with so I could stop letting it control my life,” I pleaded.

“My child, you should save yourself for marriage. For the right man. Don’t you agree?”

“Well, yeah, but-” I was cut off.

“Let us pray for you,” he said abruptly.

I felt defeated. I knew this wasn’t right. I knew I was getting out of control. At least I confessed, maybe God won’t be so mad at me now.

As I stepped out of the confessional booth, Logan stopped me.

“I appreciate your honesty. That’s what the confessional is for. Being honest, open, and confessing that you have sinned. Repentance is possible no matter what,” he said to me as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

Feeling his touch got my heart racing again. I immediately thought of his cock, imagining the ones online.

“I think I might be able to personally help you with your problem. I believe my Bible is downstairs in the basement, in the Sunday school room. Would you follow me,” he sounded like he demanded.

“Of course I will,” I whispered.

He led me downstairs to the basement then to the back of the hall where Sunday school was held. He turned on a lamp in the room, but otherwise the floor was dark. The only other person in the church was pastor Johnathon and he was busy with his paperwork.

“There is only one way I can think to remedy this for you,” he said to me.

He grabbed my hand and placed it on the front of his pants. I could feel his bulge. It felt so much bigger than how they look online.

“Your best option is to lose your virginity, put it behind you, and confess your sins again. Repentance is possible,” he said again.

I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care about the faith. I didn’t care about confessing, repenting, none of it. This is what I wanted. I made my decision that day.

I looked up at him while I unzipped his pants. He had a fatherly look to him, caring and sweet. He thought he was in control but he would never know I planned all of this. I felt his bulge release tension from inside of his pants. He was fucking huge compared to what I saw online. I reached in and pulled it out. I didn’t even take the time to stroke him as I took the entire thing into my mouth and down my throat. I wanted him to use me. I wanted to be like the girls on the videos.

“Fuck,” he gasped.

“I’m yours right now. You can repent too, Logan. Do what you want,” I moaned up to him.

He grabbed a handful of hair at the back of my head and filled my mouth with his cock again, shutting me up. I took the whole thing. I had been practicing my gag reflex on my hairbrush. He pushed in and out fucking my throat. It felt so good. I knew it would.

After a few moments he reached down and yanked me up face to face with him.

“You little whore, you think you can come into my church and tempt me,” his voice was deep, almost animal like.

“I’m sorry, I confess. I tried to tempt you. I deserve this. My body and virginity is penance for my sins,” I whimpered.

He shoved me around and threw me on the table. I didn’t even have time to orient myself before I felt his cock push into me. It hurt, but the pain immediately gave way to pleasure. He slapped my ass as he started to thrust deep into me. His cock went so much farther than my fingers could reach. I couldn’t believe how good it felt.

“I’m going to fuck the sins out of you whore. Do you want to be a good girl?” He demanded my answer.

“Yes, I want to be a good girl. I want to be a good girl, I want my sins gone, I want you to take them from me,” I said out of breath.

“Cum on my cock. I want to feel you cum,” he demanded again.

Not even seconds later my breaths turned into little screams as I felt my soul leave my body. My pussy throbbed around his cock. It was warm. It was so warm. He must have came inside me. I didn’t care at all.

I felt his cock slowly pull from inside me. I stood up and turned around to face him.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

“You need more help keeping your sins under control. Why don’t you come by tomorrow and ask to see me again. Tell pastor Johnathon that you are apprenticing me and my work. Do you understand?”

It was cute seeing him think he was in control.

“Yes sir,” I whimpered.

“Good girl,” he said, “we will continue tomorrow.”

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/uymp4n/losing_my_faith_mf_religious