**CW: Uses addiction as a framing device and written by someone with no first hand experience of it. I appreciate any feedback on how to describe it better if anyone sees issues. Also it’s a bit on the darker side in general and there’s not a whole lot of sex**
My life had been spiraling out of control, and losing my job was the final sign that something needed to change. After years of denying my addiction, quitting, relapsing I knew it was a problem I desperately need to fix for good. I love my wife Susan more than anything in the world, and we have a child on the way. Both of them deserved better than this, I made a resolution that they would get it.
I’d cut myself off, signed up for AA. But I needed to get myself together quick and get our finances back on track before the baby was due, and I couldn’t believe my luck when I found a new experimental implant being offered that was having very promising results. If I signed up to be monitored for the final study not only would I not need to pay for the treatment, but I’d be compensated for the time I spent in the checkups. Details were a little sparse, and they had to wait to finish validating the prototype before they could start the final study, but this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up, I entered my phone number and a photo of my ID to be added to the candidate list.
Two days later, I woke up groggily to a call. I rolled over carefully to the edge of the bed trying not to wake up Susan. The woman on the line introduced herself as the head researcher for the study, and she informed me that they just had someone drop out of the prototype study and needed someone to pad the numbers. She apologized for the short notice, but asked if I’d be willing to come in this afternoon to begin the trial. She assured me that the prototype was safe and showing the same benefits they expect from the final model. As I hesitated, I felt a breath against my neck and turned to see that Susan had quietly crawled over to listen in on the call.
I asked for a minute, set aside the phone and met Susan eyes, “I really want to do this. You’ve had to put up with so much because of me, and I can’t put you through any more. I need help, and I need it now.”
“Vincent…”
I saw sadness in those eyes, a torrent of feelings held back by a dam that had become strained and fractured, but I also caught a reflection of the old me in them, and her hope that he would be here to stay this time. She didn’t deserve to be proven wrong. I picked my phone back up, said “I’ll be there” then tossed it aside as Susan embraced me with an angry, sad and loving passion unlike anything I’ve felt before.
Half an hour later Susan reluctantly tore herself free from my arms to get ready for work, only to immediately become ensnared by my parting kiss. Susan laughed and shoved me off, before planting one final kiss of her own on my forehead. As she locked the door to leave, I reached over to my phone to check the time. My heart leapt into my throat; the call was still running. I frantically ended it and buried my face in my hands. Surely it must have been unattended on their end? Mortified, and my face beet red, I dressed myself and prepared for the appointment.
When I arrived, I was surprised to see the lab looked far less clinical than I expected. The receptionist handed me a stack of consent forms to look over. As I skimmed through them and initialed in the boxes, a blonde woman with dark glasses and an unbuttoned labcoat draped over her dress shirt approached me. “I assume you’re Vincent? I’m Doctor Green” she said in a warm and unfortunately familiar voice. My face flushed again. She smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t the get chance earlier, but I’d like to thank you for being so accommodating. Would you mind coming back to my office with me so I can get you set up? We can finish up the consent forms later”.
I nodded, and she guided me to a network of hallways behind reception. “I’ll just fill you in along the way. Unfortunately we aren’t able to provide many details in the flyers due to the novelty of our results. How much did you pick up from the consent forms?”
I averted my eyes sheepishly, “I uh, remember that there was an implant involved?”
Dr. Green laughed, “Don’t worry about it, no one actually bothers reading them”. She opened a door and gestured me inside. Dr. Green’s office was warm and welcoming; the floor carpeted with a desk and computer in the corner, and what looked like a psychiatrist’s couch next to it. A glass wall and door hides an adjacent room with lowered blinds. “Please make yourself comfortable on the couch” she instructed as she brushed me gently to the side and sat in the chair at her desk.
As I sat down, Dr. Green leaned towards me in her chair. “Now, I’m going to be giving you a bit of a simplified picture here, but the psychological component of an addiction relies on your brain’s ability to draw an association between the source of an addiction and the feelings you get from indulging it. Even when an chemical aspect of an addiction has passed through your system, it can become very easy to relapse because the habits, associations and responses that caused the habit still remain. Dismantling these mental pathways can be very challenging, especially when they’ve been reinforced with pleasure over many years.”
“What we are testing is a way of circumventing that. Instead of trying to dismantle those pathways and associations, we retarget them. As an example, for alcoholics in our study, we find which pathways are triggered when they drink alcohol, and which pathways are triggered when they drink, say”, Dr. Green picked a small clear package filled with liquid off her desk, “carbonated water. And then we simply cross their paths, .” She gives a pleased smile. “Well, ‘simply’ does undersell the process a bit”.
My heart was racing, this felt like exactly the sort of thing I needed. “This sounds incredible, this has actually been working?”
With a glow of pride, Dr. Green replied, “So far none of our subjects have had the slightest relapse. Of course, the physical dependency of the addiction is a whole different matter and had to be dealt with using traditional means. Past alcoholics are even able to drink again with no risk of future addiction. The most of our subjects haven’t out of caution. You don’t just put your addiction into remission, you immunize yourself against it.”
I was practically beaming at this point. “I don’t think I need to hear any more, doc. What do need I do? Do I take a pill? Are you going to have to shock me? I’m ready for it, whatever it is.”
Dr. Green’s smile softened, “I’m very pleased to hear about your enthusiasm. However, I should warn you that the procedure is a little… invasive”. She turned around in her chair and used a pair of tweezers to pick up a small metallic object off of her desk, bringing it close to me to inspect. It was flat and silver, with a collection of thin metallic fibres branching off the ends.
“Is that… a computer chip?”
Dr. Green nodded. “We will need to make a small incision at the base of your skull to insert one of these. When we monitor the pathways your neurons take in response to the stimuli we’re targeting, these fibres will operate as bridges to help redirect the mental pathways.”
A shiver went down my spine. “I didn’t realize that it was going to involve actual brain surgery. Maybe I should have been reading those consent forms a little more closely”
Dr. Green waved her hand dismissively, “This is hardly brain surgery, we will only be placing the chip on the surface of your brain stem, the fibres do most of the work from there and can’t exert enough force to do damage. Of course, if this is something you’re uncomfortable with, you are able to withdraw from the study at any point without any penalty to yourself. You will even receive the same compensation.” Dr. Green placed the chip back on her desk, and picked up a stack of records “However, withdrawal from the study is permanent, and you wouldn’t have this chance again until we release the product officially.”
“And how long would that be?” I asked.
“About 4-6 years”, she replied curtly, “These things take time”.
I swallowed. As anxious as the procedure made me, the thought of letting Susan down again was petrifying. She deserves better, I repeated in my head. “I’ll do it.”
Dr. Green looked pleased, “I’m so glad to hear that. We’ll call the nurse and take you to the other room to begin the procedure.” She opened the blinds on the glass wall revealing a sterile white room with a large chair at the center.
***
About half an hour later, the base of my skull had been shaved, EEG electrodes placed across my scalp, and I was being strapped into the large chair. “Just a precaution in case you squirm”, Dr. Green said smiling gently, “Unfortunately we are only limited to a local anesthetic since we need your brain to be operating as normally as possible to keep the data collection accurate. There may be some initial discomfort when we insert the chip, but that will pass quickly.”
Once she finished strapping me in, Dr. Green glanced over me in a way that felt a little uncomfortable. “That looks like it’ll do it. We’re now going to lean you forward so I can insert the chip”.
There was a brief prick at the back of my neck, and I felt my spine shudder at the coldness. Shortly after Dr. Green stepped back. “There we go. Now we’re going to monitor your responses on the EEG.”. She adjusted the chair to lean backwards.
“We’re first going to see the response to the carbonated water, then we’ll expose you to the alcohol.” She pressed a few keys at the computer, then walked in front of me and tilted my head back by my chin, giving me a sip of the soda water. She went back to the computer, a beep sounded, then came back with the alcohol. Just seeing the bottle sparked feelings of fear, anxiety, and more than anything else, a deep need. Dr. Green tipped my head back again and poured whiskey in. And stopped far too soon, wasn’t she going to give me the rest? Would that small amount have even been enough to register? If I was going to be cured anyways, why not just let me enjoy it all this time? Another beep from the computer.
“Now we’re just going to let the chip do its thing.” Dr. Green typed a few commands into the computer then I felt a buzz in my brain. “Want the rest?” she asked slyly.
I actually… didn’t? I was shocked how sudden it was. Dr. Green still sauntered back with the bottle and poured some more down my throat. It just felt like any other drink. She then gave me the carbonated water, and suddenly the craving was back. I needed to finish it. She let me down the whole bottle, smiling.
I couldn’t believe it. “This is incredible…” I said, completely awestruck.
“I told you there was nothing to worry about,” she squeezed my shoulder and returned to the computer. “I just have a couple of final adjustments to make”.
“I don’t know how I could ever thank you enough doc, you’re amazing.” I don’t think I’ve ever experienced so much joy in my life. Things were going to get better this time, I knew it. No more relapsing, no more struggle, no more self loathing. I couldn’t wait to come home to–
“Your wife’s name is Susan, right?” Dr. Green asked.
I didn’t remember telling her that, maybe she saw it in the emergency contact? “Yeah, why do you ask?”. Oh my god, maybe she had heard?
“I imagine you care for her a lot. Can you tell me a little about her?”
This was getting very weird, “I mean, she’s a very kind and understanding person, and she’s helped me through a lot.”
“But you don’t love her, do you?” Dr. Green’s eyes still did not leave the computer.
“Of course I love her!” I shouted. Why wasn’t anyone else in this room? I tested my arm against one of the restraints.
“Almost got it.” she muttered , “I suppose you did say as much when she was fucking you this morning. What was your favorite part of that?”
The images flashed through my mind, “What the hell are you trying to do?” I shouted. It was useless, I couldn’t move. The computer beeped again.
Dr. Green kept typing as I struggled futilely. Then she walked over, reclined my chair so I was almost lying down. She slipped her leg over top of me, straddling my hips. “Now, I need you to think about me”.
Panic rushed through me. I need to stop her, I can’t think about her. Think about anything but her.
She leaned back, grinding against my cock, which was hardening despite myself. She began unbuttoning her dress shirt, one at a time, exposing her magenta laced bra. She looked deep into my eyes and said “I want you to fuck me like her”. I couldn’t move my head to look away, so I forced my eyes shut. It was for nothing, I heard another beep from the computer.
I felt her warm breath against my neck “I want you to love me like her”. And suddenly I did.
***
I came to in a daze as Dr. Green and a nurse were removing the EEG electrodes from my head. “Is it over already?” I asked. Dr. Green gave me her usual friendly smile.
“Yup, all done. It seems like you’re experiencing one of the side effects of the prototype. No long term damage is done, but some patients can lose some short term memory surrounding the period where it’s being calibrated. Thankfully this is on track to be fixed in the final version.”
“Damn, I really should I have read that consent form a little closer, huh?”. I raised my hand to feel the scar at the back of my head. Susan’s probably going to be a little freaked out when she finds out exactly what they did. I looked back at Dr. Green. “Did it work at least?”
“Looks like it did”, she held up a bottle in front of her, “does this make you feel anything?”. As I looked at the bottle I saw just behind it one of her dress shirt’s buttons was undone. A sudden wave of arousal rushed through me.
“Nope, bottle isn’t doing anything to me”, I quickly stammered. “It looks like it worked.” Come on, you’re not a teenager anymore, get ahold of yourself.
“You’ll have to come back in a week to monitor your status. Please don’t hesitate to call if you have any concerns.”
“Will do, thanks a lot doc”
“We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, please just call me Ellie”.
I thanked Ellie, and walked out of the lab feeling on cloud nine. Susan’s going to be so happy when I tell her it worked.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/uc0x59/curing_my_addiction_mfcons_ncfdombondagelong