I head out to the African market to buy quinoa chips , and walked back towards my house to notice Yuval pull up at exactly the same time , horizontal panes of light and shadow where across his face , I knew it was him , yet I cant tell with the beard I joked to myself , as I veered to the right to double check and Yuval rolled down his window for me to get in … his face went incredibly close to mine like anime , with his eyes not quite bugging out just enlargening with swollen passion …we drove off past his house and onto the interstate after we already agreed too meat for passionate bondage style sex at his place after he said on the telephone , “ I cant invite you over my house , you just cry and break everything ,” I jokingly retorted , “ so tie my hands and only let me go for bathroom breaks “ “ okay I’d rather stay at home anyways” and now where turning onto the highway overpass to I hope not fuck in an abandoned alley again though I do enjoy it from time to time , “ so I booked the room for 3 hours.” Omg he booked the bdsm room after all , I’m so nervous I cant even submerge myself into my mind to visualize myself there . I’m just happily chittering and stuffing chips in my mouth hoping that its cute and not monstrous . …..Yuval looked at my psychic impression drawing …he also told me to worry about myself and not him so I just freaked out on how to afford food ,.
Yuval cheacked his phone to see if the management was there to unlock the door , “ should I be excited and get out ?” I’m not ashamed , It’s just , maybe I am nervous ?”Yuval briskly got out of the car and rounded the corner , I got out nervous he was going to leave me , so I got out of the car with my hand painted leather messenger bag and walked almost to the front office and stopped behind the corner waiting to perhaps pounce on and freighten Yuval I know It’s childish . I saw the hotel clerk was a giant and super tall ,I thought of joking he should join us, like a kat von D , a dark waifu with a husky voice and dirty attitude , and then , thought I wanted to be with yuval and wondered if the guy could tell he was a domm, I mean just look at his shoes , their clompity , I mean I don’t like his shoes yet he loves his shoes …I followed sheepishly behind them as I saw this dungeon in front of me , just like in the photographs , something I was too nervous to try with yuval seeing how hardcore he gets , I rushed into the room and instead of this time , whipping all of my clothes off and diving into the Jacuzzi on a free childhood sream driven whim , I ran for the cross , and pressed my cheak to it like , my ex bf would press his tea-pot-steam hands to my cheeks to warm them , giving a deep throaty chuckle as my whole body blushed , budded and filled with cute energy. I almost wanted to hug the cross like I would hug a tree in the middle of the city , incredibly self aware yet unable to contain my urges , Instead I kneeled into it sticking my ass out and seeing Yuval didn’t notice my pantomimging , I rushed back to the sofa to set down my belongings and , and dig for the homemade hummus yuval supposedly brought along it was in abag with the vodka and prickly bondage ropes , of course , in a small green Tupperware , it had this golden nugget in a way of rosemary and tofu with peppers , I avoided as I think he eats the ones with high scoville to get as hard as he does , I noshed away , as I watched the scene unfold before my eyes .
I sat on the couch watching ,yuval lit my hair on fire …I wanted to rip the champagne top off yet yuval said to be cool like a lady ….. Yuval cheak everything out , he walked to the cross , and reeled the lever of the mechanism that tilted it up and back , to see how he could best fuck my body on it , he walked to the tiger rug , in the center of the room , before the bed and in front of the t.v and took out his velvet satchel of sex toys, like a perverted santa claus , and dumped them all out , it came pouring all over the rug , ropes , butt plugs , at seeing the ball gag my eyes bugged out and flitted , should I move? Wouldn’t it speed up time and make everything move faster , to us parting ? I want to take everything in and besides Yuval is filled with this dark moving force , this prowl of aggressive demonic energy , I can tell all he wants to do is fuck me and it’s so flattering . To want to fuck my body. I feel like I’m not here . How can I feel more like im here ? I see yuval squint as the light from the t.v blares hes on the remote setting up this hilarious gothic nerdy music _. He slowly removes all of his articles of clothing ……
I wanted to take a photo to appreciate the moment ,
He knelt before me , I hate how we always rush into sex hen he used to give me hours long foreplay , there’s no dovening , and soft gentle kisses , a sense of sanctity a ritualistic placeholder of space , like a medieval ritual , that lets me slowly unfurl and open , so that my pussy breathes and I relinquish , and can settle into this moment , in the now , and open to gently met him as gentle as a softly shaved cheek , against moist lips , permissions and gentle parting …….. I heard him psychically say , “ I’ll just break you open, ill keep fucking you into you split apart and then youll become soft ” as he pulled my cobalt blue leggings off of my thighs and wedged them past my huge worn rosette painted doc martens , why? Oh , I could see the appeal of fucking a girl with huge combat boots still on . He peeled back my leather coat , as it hung onto my arms like a throw , I couldn’t move still , so he just hoisted my legs up , I wanted to say softly , “ no wait” yet hes going to thirst for me anways , and hell just break into me , I couldn’t completely feel pleasure , I let him amble with my legs , pull me closer to him , as I watched the room and delighted seeing him , before me , my body melting under his touch , as he reached back for the lighter and the rolled up torah , smoking it with the masculine gusto of hellboy , inhaling , the ambers light up heartily as I admired his bad boy energy and waved the air so as to remind him to not drop ash on me , he passed the giant roll to my open pert bird like lips in a tight inhale-o as I smiled to myself , giggling and kissing him full on the mouth , ….he got up and stood near the cross , and I took a moment to collect myself out of my bliss and follow him to it , taking a look at this display case of sex toys , I looked for an opening and then thought for a way to remove the glass as their was worn down grooves in it , as if people in here before tried to open it , yuval tsked , “ its just here for the beauty” , ah like an art piece, I stood with my chin forward as if holding my jaw in admiration . Yuval beckoned me to stand near the cross , as he wrapped the wrist strap around it , buckling me in …… felt weightless like flubber , my body went hot n cold like when he tied me to the tree I wanted to go and was afraid to go upside down ….
Then we went to the bed I wrote in my notebook
I said cum allover me he said …not yet!!! Im nit done w u !!!!!!!
Then he wanted me to go to the bench yet it moved and I was uncomfy about my ass …. Shame vibrations and sex would end , mybe a metaphor of shame vinrations and hatikva , or my rents house
Then the carpet tho it was uncomfy ….
Yuval said to listen to joan , yet the bdsm felt relly fucking good , so hat the fuck does he mean , does he mean with the other dumb shit shes said or … to not think about or seek bdsm culture and other bdsm shit bc its my shadow ? honestly I have no clue
I wanted to rush to the bathroom to wipe my ass as I asked yuval for permission , “ no , not right now , you should have cleaned your ass before sex” I’m not a gay man I thought wordlessly to myself . Yuval directed me too the thick leather arm chair with a slight curve at the top ,a long pulled out square bottom , like a deep dish Chicago pizza , with buckles and divets on the surface , it was a serious writers den chair. I waddled over with the butt plug still in my ass , trying to keep it in as I felt it fall out a bit…. , stricken with a nervous look ,littered with a slight smile at how funny it was. He pointed to the arm chair as I knelt on it , “no , not that way”he lifted my right leg up onto the armrest , my ass jilted to the right side as he fasted my pussy…. , I let out a happy yelp and braced against the oncoming onslaught .(butt plug) His left leg pinned my left leg into the left corner of the armchair spreading my legs apart , deadlocked , our sensitive ankles locked together , vulnerable pinioned ,a better angle; better able to thrust inside of me , he drove into me , while taking his squarish mit like hands and caressing my hips , molding my flesh under his touch . I felt like he psychically told me , “ let your lower back divet and bend as low as possible , grasp your abdominals like they want to come onto me , lift up and onto me , ride me , bisect your ass and lower back and elongate it , adding an extra section like an ant , and buckle , let your whole body ripple like a bunny” and I twerked , I grasped for my life and for and to his abdomen , like we where rushing to a paris accord in the midst of a cold war on fuel , I let my body writhe under his touch . I love when our abdomens join , it feels like we are united , under bedsheets , at supper , conjoined , the most intimate parts of our bodies fusing , into this helio’s a warm puddle. …I reached my hands for my clit , and my body has grown so they can’t reach , try as I might , was I also born like my friend anais mother with an abnormality that my arms are shorter then my torso , or is it just my body , am I out of shape ? Yuval chimed in psychically ordering me too , “ quit the victim talk , im dominating you ,” I shutup and gave up hanging my head as he reached for my clit , almost pressing the side of the entire length of his hand , reaching and wurming into my clit , just like ho when my hands get tired slamming the piano keys , I use the side length of my hand . He massaged my clit so beautiful it took me aback and I moaned , as his dick pulled out slightly , frozen in time , a space of his body and dick out of me and a space of it inside of me , I felt every inch of him inside of me , my pussy a black petal void holding him, as he also massaged my clit , my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I completely relaxed , submerging into myself like I do when , I turn off the lights and close my eyes and worries away , nothing is pulling at me and im safe . … then he started fucking away while kneading into my clit harder with this deft pressure and pleasure with which no man has touched me before . I felt my clit turn into a form that’s a cross between a stone rose …art reference…and a belly button , in that it could be lightly pressed yet shouldn’t be . I wanted to be a good sub , so I submitted to the pain of it as he rocked into me , I alternatively , switched and jostled my ass , grinding into him , moving my right leg for different angles , as he kept pressing into me I moaned like an animal , the sound escaping from my throat , I couldn’t handle this amount of pleasure so I let my head hang on the armchairs top my neack pushing into the rounded top , as if caught in place , I felt slight energetic rips in my throat ,Yuval asked , “ are you having fun ?”I giggled uncontrollably in response my mouth open, I kept calling in my mind , ‘Anton , Anton’ I felt like Anton , like an angelic Christ boy , that’s been betrayed , has felt loss and downtrodden like oliver twist and can’t lift himself up and loves to submit to and loose himself in dirty pleasure …, I felt for some reason like a drug addict , shadows beneath my eyes , the skin on my face held taught , my teeth spaced wide apart and my mouth full of darkness….and he picked up speed , gearing up to pummel me , my throat kept resting like an injured swan , pressing a bit into the rounded out leather , I stared at the empty space of the black wall , at the couch I held on to my small black notebook where I jot down notes for sex , erotic scriptures , and illustrations , I couldn’t hold onto reason , I couldn’t defy him with my need to honor him like a scribe , I couldn’t take something from this moment , to share with ‘everyone’ like the snap of an insta post for the status , something for myself a souvenier , I heard yuval psychically say ‘ just feel the sex , be feminine , it’s just sex’ it’s never just sex , I want people to know the intricacies and full lexicon like the voynich of pleasure , of how I feel , because I always want to feel this way, and looking at me and how Ilook now , you could never tell that I even remotely enjoyed sex , Yuval grabbed a fistful of hair , like an invisible cat ear on the left side of my head , like I was transforming , becoming docile , he picked up speed and touched my clit again in a way, my notebook dropped to the floor , ,my mouth was stuck open ,I became aware and conscious of the fact that my mouth was still open ,and it was stuck open , like the painting the scream , is there something wrong with me ? my mouth was stuck open for however long I plateu sometimes with him before I orgasm and he says , “ yeah I do that,” I felt this invisible runnel of energy , this pulse shoot through my jaw , as it opened and diveted in the center , like the line in the center of a petal , the musculature in my jaw snapped like a snakes ,I thought of the out-of-date at 30 fashioned like an old rustic bar in or hair Americana singer who sang at gargarin , watching her open her mouth to belt and then watch her writhe around her jaw , stretching it like a snakes watching it unhinge , I could be wrong yet my gut impulse told me she was on drugs , that’s how I felt , I wasn’t on anything , it must be how repressed my energy is , the same repressed energy as the scream painting ,except theres no scream coming out , only my moans , not loud yet free , filling the black void of the room where I usually am overcome with paranoid thoughts , and now Im free to defy them , and moan ,Yuval lessened his grip on my hair , and systemically drove into me as I ground into him , my Jaw closed and I rested my head into my arms with the peace of falling asleep(vacation) , the deep rest of submission of allowing Yuval to take over my body , I wanted to shout , ‘ do whatever you want with me’ my body was ready , I buckled into him , hearing an echo in the room , and the pain became too great as I swatted his hand away , as his hand automatically returned , I gingerly peeled his fingtertips away from my clit , with my fingertips like they where sewn together ,in a ballet , as I breathed deeply to survive , his hand returned and I let my body arc , amost into a circle back to him as he grabbed a fistful of my hair like a cats ear , the sheer pressure , I’m not sure if I can hold on , I let out an animal cry as I let my body fiercely fuck him back and meat his thwacks , and let him fuck me as it was becoming to fierce , I lifted my ass up to high , it must have been let my pussy catch a break , as Yuval thrust into me at a wrong angle , puncturing into the side wall of my pussy , I let out a loud moan , it felt equally as good , Yuval must have sensed it and got up , “ okay lets go to a different position/place” or he came all over me
Perhaps I need to reannargne when yuval gripped my hair and when my jaw was agape , and how my ass alternated w my right leg , my moans , … etc .. maybe a version w more normal jargon , … maybe a present tense version , and more details in between ? …more clarity on the symbolism ?
We got in the shower , I wanted to joke it was like a spa two showerheads he arranged it for me thankfully bc I couldn’t speak and was in total bliss , not a fool just in bliss , I worred about my parents yelling at me in my subconscious , I then joked we where mutants , and made us numbers and yuval said to shutup and choked me as I smiled and said back to my corner I pretended to be upset like a cat , and couldn’t say pet or trained , and then stuck my ass out goofily for him to slap it , …. God wish I had time to write more details …and I offered anal , while trying tog et my clit w the shower head and close my eyes and clean him , he saidto adjourn with him in the Jacuzzi and I laughed so hard , he loved it … I got him water and shouted in my mind im ff and made myself water and tea and got my notebook brought chips and put it in the cupholder , my clit caught on the jet stream and I couldn’t move I admired how he looked and how intense he looked looking at the t.v he asked if I liked the music is aid no , then thought of that Japanese couple and said , yes its ok , I liked the music from before or would like lo fi space ambient music , , I wanted him to massage my feet or touch me , or have more sex he wanted to be elft alone , I liked his masculine looks , and we admired each other , I felt stressed about writing and he told me to just write like how he told me to just sing …I felt so stressed and told him and wanted to be touched ….
Then he said there was anknock at the door 3 hours was up and I have 15 secs to orgasm , I started feeling sick and coughed a vapor hit my throat …. , bc he was fearing authority and I don’t like getting ready quickly right after such blissful sex , .. yuval became less macho and dom , and panicked wiping his har crouching voer and cleaning a lot , I tried my best to relax and embody antons energy to help yuval or write , and yuval said toe at some candies , I tried to tell him to live in the moment ,and realized he feared authority …. He said my chips where crumbly , I said couples do way worse here , he said they clean …I tried to get fresh air by the vent …patio that as locked bc my throat closed and I felt like uncontrollably coughing … and I said if I get ready fast will you get me susi thinking kid logic would turn him on and he said hed get me sushi anyways lets just go , guess he didn’t want to pay more , I said where famous …
The cleaning lady looked like an oopha loompah and I laughed thinking of willy wonka ,and yuval felt bad for her and explained about the crumbs , she seemed to say , that I know exactly hat im doing , im fine and I don’t need yuval , I tried to laugh and not see myself as a burdened lackey or mule carrying the burden of slight shame and sex after sex like the short one before we wnetered the building with the shy artistocrat .
We got in the car the camera was there
I tried to convince yuval too take me to his place in an indirect way …….. don’t recall what else yuval asked if I liked the sex and said my pussy was strong
My neack wants to hide
I went to touch him before giving him a massage and his elft arm curled into him like a rabbits paw and not a cerebral pasly or autistic , as he said don’t touch me ,,, what a weirdo .
We waited outside my house …… I felt like writing ands massaged him which felt great , ………I said I want piano lessons and everyone ignores my henrew …. he said I look pretty and is aid its bc I love massaging him …he had shorts on which means he doesn’t have time for laundry which is snhame since hes so skiny and petite and could have any clothes ….
Then when I brought up google one a guy raped on the window
Yuval is such a sexy race car driver ! wow ! I’m so glad some random thug raped on the window and startled Yuval enough to aggressively flick him off and race off, then race like a race car driver , I can’t stop smiling like..thought going to his place
He raced to get the food like on the hunt and explained whats up to the wolt guy …….Oro wine bar and deli …yum very French.. he said to cheakc the sandwhiches
We got in a fight about him texting other women in front of me …
I told him their was going to be war here and hes stupid to stay , he said that he skipped the army and that im a stupid whore , how do thosetwo things relate !? . am I psychic is their going to be war if I stay in the middle east or in the near or far future ?
I am livid , completely beside myself … he brought ym coat back …
full story and photographs on my website [soshitopia.squarespace.com](https://soshitopia.squarespace.com)
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/tn68x5/bdsm_room_insane_visual_hallucinatory_sex_bdsm