My Affair With A Much Younger Co-Worker [FM]

*posted with the full knowledge of my husband, who now knows the whole story*

My husband knew that Matt and I had a close emotional relationship and he suspected that Matt had romantic feelings for me. I think on some level I knew it too, but he had never been inappropriate so I kept telling my husband there was nothing there. One Monday morning, after I had worked a late shift at the hospital, I told my husband that the night before, Matt had walked me out to my car after my shift (this wasn’t unusual, we typically would walk out together for safety; then I would drive him to his car) and I said that when he got in we talked for a minute and then Matt kissed me. I told my husband that I was taken by surprise, and that I didn’t pull away immediately. I also told him that after a few seconds I did pull away and told Matt that “I can’t”.

This is what actually happened:

The actual affair started about a month earlier, one night when my husband was out of town. Matt called me (that was routine for us, we talked almost every night when my husband was away, mostly just to pass time and for him to keep me company).

He said he had been drinking (he had just turned 21) and he asked me what I was wearing. I naively answered truthfully; I was wearing shorts and a camisole. He proceeded to talk to me in a way that took me totally by surprise. He was telling me things about my body that he’d never said before and telling me that he wanted to see things and do things that were totally surprising and inappropriate. I had never had phone sex before, and I was taken by surprise. I let him continue, but there were two voices in my head, one screaming “OMG you are married! WTF are you doing!?!” And the other one saying, “OMG, he really does like you! Listen to him, he is totally turned on. He’s totally touching himself. This is so hot!”

I know I should have stopped him but I didn’t. It felt good to know that he was into me. I couldn’t help imagining the things he was saying to me. He told me to do things to myself and I did. He told me to say some things back to him and I did. It was like I wasn’t in control, like I was watching myself do it. When he finished, he said somethings about how long he had fantasized about that and then hung up. I felt awful. I felt dirty. But I was also turned on. I had never felt anything like it before.

About a week after that my husband was at work and my kids were at the neighbor’s. I don’t know why, but I called him. This time I asked him what he was wearing. And he knew what I meant. We starting talking to each other the same way, and after a few minutes I got a call on the other line. My neighbor was sending my girls back home. I had to end the call. Again I felt dirty and ashamed. But I kept thinking about him.

The next time we worked together, a few weeks after the second phone call, he walked me out to my car after our shift ended, at about midnight. He did kiss me, but not only did I not resist, I kissed him back hard. Before I realized what I was doing, he had taken himself out of his scrub bottoms and I had taken him into my mouth. After a couple of minutes, I raised my head up and we began kissing again. I lifted my top for him and he fondled me while I untied my bottoms. He used his fingers on me and I used my hand on him. He pulled me on top of him and my conscience screamed at me to stop but I didn’t. He rubbed himself on me, over my panties, and I began to grind on him. Soon, I couldn’t stand it any longer and I reached between my thighs, pulled my panties to the side and positioned myself right over him. I was so wet he slid in effortlessly. I rode him, moving my hips forward and back, and he grabbed my ass tightly. I told him that he could not finish inside me, and he said he was close so I climbed off of him and sat back in the driver’s seat. I was horrified at what I had just done, but I still didn’t stop. He guided my head back down and I stayed there until he finished in my mouth. At that point, I was only thinking about what would happen if my husband found out so I swallowed so that there wouldn’t be any mess.

It was awful. It was not passionate. It was not pleasurable. I regretted it immediately. I felt dirty and used. I couldn’t tell my husband, but I couldn’t live with the guilt either. I chickened out. I told him only what I needed in order to relieve my guilt.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/t1w6h3/my_affair_with_a_much_younger_coworker_fm