Year was 2010. Old buddy and I picked this short beautiful goth gal he was supposed to fuck. Well, many beers, a bottle of Jack, and straight Absinthe later, him and I were playing guitar. He was always a cocky shit.
I caught her giving me the eye. She starting flirting. Last thing I remember is him throwing a tantrum (he was 19, I was 21) like a kid because she wanted me.
Now I wake up to “Matt…MATT…GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” So confused!!! Well, her and I were completely naked. On the couch. Passed out. His mom found us 🤣🤣🤣
So we stumble out to my Trans Am, instant road head. We pull up to my place aaaaand my ENTIRE family is there. Well, shit. I said “ok, when we go in I’ll say hello and goodnight to them. You stay back”
Sure enough, she follows me. Aaand what does my drunk ass say “Oh, this is Ashley. We’re gonna go sleep together.” Hahaha.
Mom is an old country farm girl and knocked on my door with the whole “keep it open!” While my dad stood there with the “he’s 21…” look.
So we get in there. She turns into a goddamn ANIMAL. I still have scars. She tore me apart and as I did her. And because of the whiskey, 6hrs of fucking.
I shot a load about 12ft. She wanted it on her tongue. It shot over her head and feet and my bed and hit my half stack.
Woke up later to her saying “is it cool if my fiance picks me up?”
Aaaaand that was a hell of an adventure.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/szmrvc/mf_that_one_time_i_got_caught_on_my_friends_couch
This totally happened