She’s out of our league[FF]

For years I’ve had a small crush on one of my friends. I’m married, but I’m pretty sure my husband is just as much in love with her and we’ve reached a mutual understanding that we both periodically stalk her social media for her political posts and photos of her in effortlessly sexy outfits.

*Being married to a bisexual woman has certain advantages.*

I met her at a random event about three years ago and almost couldn’t speak to her I was so nervous. She’s a teeny bit famous so I knew who she was, but I was kind of hoping her TV/online persona didn’t live up to expectations. She exceeded them. I simply wasn’t expecting her to be so down to earth and sweet. I was almost praying she was a jerk so I could find a damn flaw.

The thing is, it’s not just that she’s kind of famous and beautiful. Although the fact that she’s basically perfect looking doesn’t help the situation. I usually don’t describe people physically but her body is just… Wow. She’d be fun to have sex with. Still, I’m an 8 who can pretty easily pull a 10 so this does not bother me.

The hardest thing is that she’s fucking brilliant. If y’all think I’m confident about sex, you should see how I am about my damn intelligence. I work in a field where I’m generally not the smartest person in the room, but I can always hold my own. It is very rare that I meet someone who genuinely makes me feel dumb because her IQ is so high. I’ll be around her and think, “What am I actually contributing to this conversation? Should I go back to school so I can keep up?”

For some crazy ass reason, she’s always wanted to be my friend. Our social circles overlap just enough so that I run into her at parties and we’ve occasionally hung out with a small group. She comments on my social media and we send each other book recs. I’ve gotten to the point where my mouth doesn’t go completely dry when I see her.

She is also sadly taken. I think the whole world mourned a little when she changed her Facebook status.

So one night she asks if I want to grab drinks after work and I basically drop all my plans to make this happen.

My husband walks in to see me dressing up and asks what I’m doingZ I say, “Grabbing drinks with our mutual crush.”

“Are you serious? V, is there any way you can maneuver this so that she is our best friend?”

*I changed my outfit three times and have on a push-up bra but I’m glad you’re this secure, sir.*

When we meet up, we have like 2 minutes of niceties before we dive into this deep-ass conversation I was not prepared for. This girl does not really do surface level. We talk about politics, religion, and… sex.

Boy, do we talk about sex.

We talk about our partners in bed, we talk about our past sex life, and we talk about the repression our society puts on female pleasure and expression.

*She’s deep, y’all. This bitch doesn’t half-ass conversation.*

We get into kinks. I know a little too much on this subject and she is intrigued. When I start discussing the importance of mutual masturbation to learn how to pleasure your partner she stops me and is like, “Are you a sex therapist or something?”

I blink and realize how far this conversation has gotten. “I um… I used to have pretty weird sex and I’ve been known to practice BDSM. When you’re passionate about something it becomes something you study like any other hobby.”

*Also, I write a sex blog on Reddit.*

She folds her arms, leans back, and smiles at me. “That’s not what I was expecting…”

*I get this a lot.*

“…Like you’d let men dominate you?”

“People. I’d let people.”

“Oh I’m queer too.”

*Fuck! No! Mother fucker. Why did you have to tell me that?*

I swallow and order another drink. I think I down like six on a school night and am feeling quite drunk, but at least I’m less nervous. Meanwhile, we continue to talk about relationships and sex.

“Are you and your husband open?” She asks.

“Not really. We make out with people on occasion but we’re pretty damn monogamous.”

*Does she look disappointed?*

“I think that’s how my boyfriend and I are. I think we’d swing though.”

“The problem with swinging is I’d almost always rather fuck the girl and my husband is tragically straight.”

“How straight?” She asks.

*This isn’t in my head, right? She’s into me.*

“Like all the way, ‘Jon Snow’s ass does nothing for him’ kind of straight.”

We giggle about this for a while and finally get our check and agree we have to hang again soon. On the way out, we actually bum cigarettes and smoke them in the ally.

*I’m not sure either one of us is a smoker and subconsciously I wonder if we just wanted to go into the ally some together.*

When we both put ours out we chat for a bit and, in a moment do weakness, I look down at her body.

*I’m only human, damn it! She has very large breasts.*

I’m not 100% sure how I ended up against the brick. Like seriously, I believe this was a mutual endeavor. Next thing I know though, I am making out with my girl crush in a damn ally and she has me pinned against the wall.

*Fuuuuuuck.*

Bro, whoever says gay sex isn’t natural has tragically never experienced the sensation of two sets of boobs pressed together. It’s magical.

We are REALLY going at it too. I’ve gotten myself off to this woman for years and here she fucking is with her tongue in my mouth. Our chemistry is off the charts. I wrap a leg around her and she pushes me up so she can run a hand through my hair.

I stop her.

“Listen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell my husband this was a possibility and we always clear it with each other first.”

She apologizes profusely and I ensure her it was 100% mutual. I tell her I’ve had a huge crush on her for years.

I am SHOCKED to learn this feeling is mutual, so much so that she had told her boyfriend about it and he was apparently alright with this possibility.

“I don’t know if you know this, but you pretty squarely out of my league,” I say. “And that’s not a knock against me- I think pretty highly of myself. I’m just not convinced you’re really a human.”

She starts laughing. “I wanted to ask you out when I met you. I was really bummed you were in a relationship.”

*Curse my happy marriage!*

We actually do hold hands as we call an Uber to split and occasionally grab each other’s faces to giggle. We agree to be platonic friends but say we have to hang out more.

*Idk dude, I never say NEVER but I’m not sure what else can happen.*

I get home and my husband is like, “Hey V, why are you wearing lipstick?”

“So funny thing, it turns out OUR mutual crush was also my mutual crush with her.”

No, he was not mad. I think he was just sad he wasn’t there.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/spy5ee/shes_out_of_our_leagueff

40 comments

  1. *Reads title*

    Me: “Finally a post I can relate to”

    *Gets to the end*

    Also me: “Motherfucker…….”

    It’s a bit refreshing to see your somewhat “mortal” side, but still congratulations are kinda in order, a win is a win after all. Congrats Ms. V!!! Lmao

  2. … I’ve said a lot of nice things to you lately.

    I feel I’ve earned this.

    ~~*Go fuck yourself, ma’am.*~~

    I can’t even pretend to be mean. Great story.

  3. V…I’ve read several of your stories, and I’m newerish to Reddit, but I will easily admit to your stories being my absolute favorites, as well as very much the hottest that I’ve read in a long time…I have written small erotic stories to some past women friends as a device to get in their pants, and I’ve always wanted to write something, but you take this personal approach that I don’t think I can get to…please continue to share these absolute masterpieces with us, as I will definitely continue to read and enjoy, in awe of your work, and consider whether I could- or should- ever try this myself….

  4. This is a stupid add but I’m sure you’ll appreciate the catch. I think you wanted to make out in an alley.

    In an ally seems difficult given that I’d assume an ally is human

  5. Was hubby like, “that one would of been a free pass w/ no hard feelings”

  6. Awesome story, and very human. If you get the chance to take it further, I hope we’ll get an update!

  7. Sometimes it’s wild how differently others perceive us compared to how we perceive ourselves. I’m still in shock at the number of genuinely amazing people that are like “hey you’re cool I like you we should be friends ;)” and I’m just sitting here like *I am a fucken gremlin what do you see in me??*

  8. The more of your stories I read, the more I can’t help but ask, “Who is this woman?!”

    I know you’d never reveal your identity (nor should you), and I’m not asking, nor even suggesting a hope or want.

    I’m just saying your writing reeeeaaaaaallly pulls me in, right up until the very end, the very last syllable; at which point I snap back to reality and….

    “Damn – who IS this woman?!”

  9. I am straight, but your stories makes me want to experiment. You’re a swell writer.

  10. I am straight, but your stories makes me want to experiment. You’re a swell writer.

  11. I feel like you need to be really brave and send her this 😇

    “Oh btw, I write a sex blog and this one is about you!”

    How could that not lead to Part II… ?

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