Another quick funny story to distract me before I continue my main story series.
You know those tests people give you, where they’re trying to make you admit you wouldn’t still be with them if xyz happened?
What if I lost an arm?
What if I cut all my hair?
What if I gained weight?
What if i lose my sex drive?
You know, [that shit](https://youtube.com/shorts/v4KS1lyytHs?feature=share)
1 You can still do a lot with one arm.
2 Charlize Theron looks hot as fuck in Mad Max.
3 That’s a highly subjective thing to each person’s preferences but I don’t hate some extra healthy weight, a little bit of a beer belly on a girl can be pretty sexy actually. But if you get obese I’m breaking up with you (she hit me).
4 Babe, we both know *I’d* lose my sex drive *waaaaayyy* before you did you fucking slut. (She was about to hit me, then nodded and said “yeah you right”).
However, I should have seen this next one coming. Somehow I’d fooled myself into thinking I’d gotten used to Cat’s chaos.
“What if I wanted to peg you?”
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. Don’t play dumb. I know you’re a lot smarter than you pretend to be and look. And you look and sound pretty dumb usually.”
She got me there. I’d actually given this a lot of thought. She knew I had. Because she knew that my brain literally never turned off. She knew she could ask me nearly anything and odds are I’d have written an imaginary peer reviewed scholarly article about it in my head already with works cited. (Please send help).
“No.”
“Noo?! You can’t say no!”
“Yes I can. I just did.”
“So you don’t really love me!”
“Gahh you can’t say that! I got you a god damn KitchenAid for your birthday!”
“I just did! And you can’t buy love Smalls! And besides you obviously hate meeee!”
“Listen, no offense to anyone that likes that, it’s not for me.”
“You realize that means you don’t get to ask me for anal either right?”
“Yep.”
“Guys always want anal!”
“Good for them! As you continually point out *every fuckin’ day*, I’m a weird guy!”
“That’s putting it lightly.”
“Annoying me is not going to help you get what you want.”
“Sooo, what you’re saying… is there *are* some things I can do… to get what I want…”
She leaned in close, her smile wicked, playful, full of mischief and arrogant confidence.
I smiled slightly, leaned towards her very slowly, tilted my head to whisper gently in her ear, “Baby.”
“Yeahhhh?” She groaned a little.
“There is no one on this planet hot enough for me to let them peg me. Not even you.”
She gasped and pulled away in horror.
“You haaaaaaate meeeeeeee!!! I’m saaad! Saaaaaaaaaad!!!”
I smiled. She’d tire herself out eventually and then sheepishly ask me if I wanted to go down on her. She always did. Mostly cuz she knew I *always* wanted to down on her.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/sokl0b/she_f_asked_if_id_m_let_her_peg_me_i_didnt
Shame, you’re missing out