I posted this the other day in r/straightturnedgay and was told some of the people on this sub would be interested. So here’s the true story of how I turned from being attracted to girls to being attracted to men:
I fell in love with my best friend Kate when I was 18 years old. She was cute, smart and fun. Beautiful beyond words. Long black hair, tight abs, firm big boobs and hips any guy would die for. I truly loved her. However she was quite a strict moslem, or so I thought, I knew she probably wouldn’t want to be together with me.
At a week long school trip to Italy I took all my courage together and confessed my love to her. It was a nice romantic sunset at the beach, just kate and me. She started to cry and said she really liked me but since I wasn’t a Muslim we could never be together. I was devastated by that but I kind of expected her reaction. The last evening of the trip the whole class went out for some drinks and I just went along to drink away the sadness.
Later that evening I went outside and took a walk to get some fresh air and get my head clean. I was pretty drunk. I heard some heavy breathing and moaning in a back small back alley and I took a look. Kate stood there, pressed against the wall, her trousers and panties lying on the street. Behind her a incredibly muscular Italian guy, surely 6’4 with a huge penis, taking her pussy. She didn’t even make him wear a condom.
He noticed me but didn’t care at all and kept pounding her. It took Kate a full minute to realize I was standing just a few meters away. She looked at me but didn’t say a word, she just kept on moaning an stared at me. She looked like possessed. Her eyes were empty of emotions and just filled with primal lust. I wanted to leave but I couldn’t. I just kept staring at how the only girl I ever truly loved got fucked by a stranger. Her knees started to give in so he picked her up and used her on his massive cock like a flashlight. I only stood there like three minutes but she surely had 3 orgasms during that time. It was more like a constant orgasm with a few seconds break. He pretty soon came inside of her, put her on the floor, cleaned his dick with her trousers and left. When he passed me he said in Italian that it’s my turn with the bitch.
I went over to her. She first smiled at me but it turned into crying just a second or two later. The guy’s cum still flowing out of her pussy. She didn’t even try to cover herself up. I didn’t know what to do so I just sat next to her on the floor. Kate laid her head on my shoulder. She told me she loved me but I just wasn’t her type. She wanted to be friends like as children because it wouldn’t work. The whole situation was really surreal. Both pretty drunk, the girl I loved half naked besides me, cum dripping out of her, telling me why we can’t be together. I took her to the hotel and put her to bed.
She didn’t want to be with me because I wasn’t a Muslim. She didn’t want to be with me because she didn’t like me. She refused me because I would have never been able to make her feel that way. A girl like her just wanted a real man not a boy. Something inside me changed that night. She didn’t even think of me as a man she could be together. For Kate I probably was closer to a girl than a guy. And instead of thinking about her naked I couldn’t get that guy with his massive cock out of my head.
A girl like Kate just wants and deserves a real man not a boy. We spent less and less time together. She said that us was never going to happen and that it wasn’t good for me to be around her so much. I’d never find a girl with her around. She didn’t understand that for me another girl wasn’t an option. After we finished school some months later she broke of contact completely. I haven’t heard from Kate for over 4 years. I didn’t only lose the girl of my dreams but also my best friend.
I wasn’t in a good mental state. How would I ever be able to get a girl if even the girl who loved me wouldn’t be with me? It’s not even like I was ugly, but I have a really feminine figure and I knew I just would never be able to compete with masculine guys for girls. I kept imagining the feeling kate must have felt getting fucked like she did. I probably always was a bit submissive but definitely into girls. And I think if she became my gf back then I would be a happy straight men, probably engaged already. But the total denial of my masculinity by her changed my sexual preferences slowly over time. At first I didn’t want to suck cock. But I still obsessed with why those masculine guys were so attractive to women, I envied them. I started going to the gym myself but firstly I’m not very tall and secondly the gym only seemed to make my stomach flatter, my abs tighter and my ass bigger. Over time my admiration for masculine guys slowly turned into desiring them myself.
I discovered trans and sissy porn at that time. Guys who turned into girls because the were addicted to the feeling Kate must have been feeling. Pretty soon it turned and I was exclusively watching gay porn. I thought it was only a phase until I get my confidence back up.
Not so long ago I met an other girl, Lara, she was a model on the side, so you can imagine she was really attractive. We met at Uni and I had the same feeling I had with Kate. It was so promising. I was still a virgin at 21 because I couldn’t get over kate for 3 years and my new insecurity with girls. She however wanted me. After a date she came to my flat and we started making out. When we were about to have sex but I just couldn’t get a boner. A girl that most guys would jumnat the opportunity to fuck but my dick wouldn’t move an inch.
She left. But she wanted to see me again and Lara said it’s normal and quite a few guys get nervous with her and don’t get a boner the first time (what’s wrong with some guys?). I still was embarrassed and I realized this night that it wasn’t just a lack of confidence but genuine attraction to men. I realized I didn’t want to be with girls anymore so I ghosted her.
I got myself a dildo. Turns out I am a natural. Fourth time I managed to come hands free. Two months taking dildo daily and I cracked. I found myself a guy on Grindr just like the one Kate got fucked by, muscular with a dark teint and a huge cock. It was amazing. He came over, fucked me, came and then left. I had the best fucking orgasm ever had and I have not thought once about a girl since. And you know what? Kate has been right from the very beginning. Love is nice and all but getting fucked like this from time to time is really worth it. I hope though I can find myself a masculine boyfriend I love and I love to get fucked by. Turns out the rejection by Kate was the best thing that could have happen to me. She turned my gay and I have come to the realisation that it’s better that way.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/sng18h/how_the_only_girl_i_ever_loved_turned_me_gay