This is the vanilla, slow-build story of my only physical affair and it’s completely true. I learned so many things from this experience – not the least of which is just how wholesome adultery can actually be. I hope you enjoy it.
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We had so much in common. We were both Army spouses. Both stay-at-home parents to little kids while working additional jobs from home. Both fairly new to the same little town with no family support or good friends nearby. And… both her husband and my wife were deployed overseas. I won’t explain how I first came to knock on her door that summer day, but I was completely unprepared for what was on the other side. She looked remarkably like Holly Michaels from head to toe, with just the biggest, most stunning brown eyes I’ve ever seen. In fact, let’s just call her Holly. I was attracted to her immediately, but stayed completely professional as she invited me in to talk. We soon discovered all that we had in common and chatted for a long time about army spouse lifestyle stuff. The subject of childcare came up and we lamented how tough it can be when you have little kids and absolutely no support system. As I was leaving, she offered to baby sit any time I needed. Maybe a bit dubious coming from a stranger, but we’d been talking for half an hour by then and had gotten to know each other a bit. Both of us being decently educated and well dressed, her house being well furnished and tidy, and the great conversation had all instilled a bit of faith that we were both good, normal people.
Walking back to my car, I immediately thought ‘this could be trouble’ and decided I wouldn’t contact her again. Not that I thought I’d have a chance with her; I was 10 years her senior and pretty average looking. But the rates of infidelity during deployments (by both soldiers and spouses) is staggering. It’s almost expected to happen, so I decided it would be best to just avoid all temptation. She texted me a few days later to follow up on my visit and I politely concluded any business I had with her, being sure not to get too chatty. Then a couple weeks later she texted again saying one of her kids had deleted all her contacts and asked who I was. After a reminder, she asked how I was doing and offered again to sit for me any time. Again, I politely declined. The point is, I made an effort to distance myself from Holly. But after another week or so, I really needed to get some yard work done and my little one was just too little to leave in the house alone. I wouldn’t even be leaving the property and I trusted Holly more than some stranger. So I rationalized texting her.
That’s how it began. Holly and I would trade baby sitting services when needed. Sometimes at her place. Sometimes mine. Sure, I had my own private fantasies about her, but no ill intentions at all. She told me that a lot of guys had been creeping on her while her husband was away and she appreciated me being a gentleman. I told her I would never do anything inappropriate or try to take advantage of her situation and that meant the world to her. I realized later just how much that foundation of trust opened up the possibility of an affair later.
As time went on, we became better friends. We’d meet up even when we didn’t need a sitter to let the kids play at the park while we talked. Eventually, we were texting every day and FB messaging every night. We joked and laughed. We opened up about our marriages and often vented about how our spouses treated us. On one occasion, she came back from the gym to pick up her kids from my place, but they were still napping. We put on a movie to kill some time and she stretched out on my couch. I couldn’t look away, her amazing curves wrapped in spandex, her skin still flushed and glistening from the work out. When the movie moved to a sex scene, the energy between us was unmistakable. She told me much later that she had felt it too, but neither of us made a move that day.
We’d been good friends for a couple months when my wife’s deployment ended. She came home and we soon had to move to another duty station. The night before the move I dropped by Holly’s house to say goodbye. Her kids were asleep. Holly opened a bottle of wine, we talked and she confided in me about her husband’s true nature. I knew the guy was an asshole, but that night she told me things she’d never told anyone else. Her husband demanded sex every day. When she agreed, he was rough with her in bed (not in a good way). When she didn’t, he’d get violent and force himself on her. I held her as she cried and I promised her I’d be there for her even after the move and I’d make sure she was safe.
The next night, I was in a new house three states away with my family. Holly and I continued to message each other every day. We talked a lot about her situation and what was best for her and her children. She had convinced herself that her husband’s acts were not wrong. She thought maybe it was normal or somehow her fault. I assured her that was not the case and to contrast her situation, I told her about my own. I shared with her how my wife had never had *any* sexual desire and remained a virgin until her late 20s. I told her how we slept in separate rooms and didn’t have sex for months at a time. When we did have sex, it was only out of her sense of marital obligation and conditions must be met: lights off, clothes on, no foreplay, one position, wear a condom and be quick. I told Holly that I desperately wanted more from my wife, but I would never consider forcing myself on her and no decent husband would. With perspective and support, Holly began to gather the will to protect herself over the next few months. I was so proud and happy to see her confidence grow. Over that same time period, our friendship also began to blossom into something more. Going through all this together brought us very close. Conversations gradually evolved from both of us saying “you deserve better from your spouse” to… “If my spouse was anything like you, I’d be so satisfied” to, eventually… “If you were my spouse, this is how I’d treat you in bed”. I reminded her of my promise to never take advantage of her situation, but she brushed it off. She needed to explore this as much as I did. We jumped in.
And it was amazing. Holly and I learned so much about each other’s sexual desires and it turned out we were both aching for the same thing. We each simply wanted a loving and responsive partner – someone who wanted to share an emotional connection in bed as much as we did – someone who wanted to give pleasure just as much as receive it. Most specifically, we wanted to be able to look into our partner’s eyes while having amazing sex and say “I love you” and to truly mean it and really feel it. Sadly, neither of us had experienced that before. We’d both had great sexual partners and we’d both been in love a couple times, but those two things had never coincided for either of us. We talked about things like this often. Sometimes we examined love and passion and sexuality rather academically. Sometimes we’d just talk about our day. Other times we were full-on sexting. We’d get incredibly imaginative in our fantasies and text every detail of what we were ‘doing’ to each other. Wanting it to be a loving experience, I never felt a desire to jerk off on her face or dominate or degrade her in any way. Our stories were intimate. Sensual. Sweet. She knew my favorite thing was to finish inside and really played it up for me. I knew how much she wanted oral and I described giving generously. It’s something I’ve always loved to do, but of course my wife never allowed it. Holly even sent a few pics. They were incredibly sexy but understated and classy. (I promised to delete the pictures immediately which I did, so don’t even ask).
The fact that we were so far away made it seem safe to dabble in this new world with her. It could never really happen; it was only fantasy… until it came to be that I’d have to travel back to her town in a month. I’d be going alone, staying overnight and her husband would still be away. We had plenty of time to talk about it. Were we really going to do this? We agreed to meet, but without expectation or obligation. If it didn’t feel right, either of us could hit the brakes at any time. I remember telling her that fantasy was one thing, but if we really were to do this we should use condoms. She told me she hadn’t trusted her husband to be faithful and so she’d gotten tested recently. It had been more than 6 months since he left and she was perfectly healthy. She was on birth control and we both knew I was clean. Fuck. I persisted about condoms, trying to do the right thing in the middle of planning a very wrong thing. She just said “we’ll see”. Fucking fuck. Our night time texting was even hotter after that and satisfyingly pragmatic. Not just fantasy anymore, we were taking notes and making plans: this is what I WILL do to you in a couple weeks. Still, the common themes were mutual respect and desire, and a shared emotional connection. Perhaps the most dangerous thing we discussed was indulging the fantasy of being in love. We agreed that if either of us felt so inclined, we could say “ I love you” in bed and that it would strictly be roll play.
The night had finally come. I was so ready. Approaching her house, I knew every single thing she longed for in bed and I knew what lines not to cross. I knew her most intimate preferences like how she liked men to be groomed. Best of all, I knew we really cared for each other. So much more than a lustful hookup, this was adoration, romance with a great and trusted friend. And now this amazing person and I might become lovers. Her kids were asleep. We sat on the couch and talked nervously for a bit, the enormity of the situation crowding out any chill we tried to create. She sprang up a few times to put away toys or do whatever silly task her conscience demanded of her. As she fluttered around the room, every unassuming move of her body obliterated any rational thought left in my brain. She looked amazing – already dressed for bed in a soft little pair of shorts and a loose tank top. She knew I had a thing for tank tops. She also knew that no fancy lingerie was needed – I didn’t need to play out any fantasy. I was already living my greatest fantasy; I was with the authentic, every-day Holly. When she returned to sit down with me for the third time, I’d positioned myself sideways at the end of the couch and patted the cushion between my knees. She leaned back onto my chest and we both finally exhaled, but she still felt a bit rigid. We talked while I casually played with her hair and stroked her shoulders. I told her not to worry – that we didn’t have to do anything she wasn’t sure of. I said I’d be happy to just sit like this and talk all night. It was true and she knew it. It felt amazing to simply hold her in my arms.
Gradually, the energy in the room started to change. The tempo of our conversation grew slower. Her muscles began to relax. I nuzzled into her hair and took in the amazing scent of her shampoo as deeply as I could. My touch grew a bit stronger as I massaged from her shoulders, up her neck to her scalp. Spreading my fingertips across the back of her head through her hair, I could feel her melting into me. When our breathing grew deeper, we gave up on even trying to hold a conversation. I was sure she’d feel my heart pounding between her shoulder blades. She adjusted her position, arching her back a bit, and settling back into me with more contact and warmth than before. Her head tilted to one side, I brushed her hair back, tracing the contour of her ear with a fingertip and trailing down the curve of her neck. She encouraged me with the slightest little “mmm” and tilted her head a bit further, offering me more of her flawless skin. My lips just inches away, she must have felt my breath on her neck well before I kissed her. First a little peck on her shoulder. A shaky inhale from her and a squeeze on my leg, then a softer kiss higher on her neck. She sighed and dug her nails into my thigh, then I nibbled my way up to her jaw line. The tone was set right then and there. She’d reward me for the rest of the night with such clear body language that I wouldn’t ever have to ask how she felt or what she wanted. Each subtle cue from her was such a turn on for me, never having received such response at home. The tiniest movements of her body and subtlest vocalizations gave volumes of information confirming that this was really, really good. She turned her head toward me and as she did, my lips brushed across her cheek and finally found hers. It was a sweet, soft little kiss, if from a bit of an awkward position – her back still mostly turned toward me. She whispered “Let’s go upstairs”.
Her room was prepared, the bed turned down and the lights low. She lit a candle and led me by the hand to the foot of her bed. In a blur we were together, my body on top of hers, kissing deeply, touching, tugging at clothes. We’d anticipated this for so long, we couldn’t get started fast enough. Having talked about it so many times, I think we both knew I would go down on her first and I couldn’t wait. She lifted her hips, then her feet as I pulled her shorts and panties off in one motion. She lost her top too and was completely naked within a minute or two of landing on the bed. Taking in the sight of her stretching and writhing on her back in the candlelight was heavenly. She really did look like an angel. I don’t remember whether I worked my way up from her toes or down from her lips, but I know I teased her thoroughly on the slow journey to my destination. When I arrived, I took in her form. The shape of her womanhood was simply beautiful. I loved how unashamed and unafraid she was in that position. I gave her a soft kiss on top, then glided my tongue up the center of her. I licked and explored and tasted every contour for a minute or two – as much for my own satisfaction as hers. Then I lavished my affection on her clit, circling, flicking, rolling, sucking, until I found what worked best for her and really got to work. Meanwhile, my hands played their own game, lightly scratching her inner thighs, tracing the outlines of her amazing hip bones, lifting and holding her right where I wanted her. Feeling her body bloom, I could have stayed there forever, but it didn’t take long for her to reach her first peak of the night. She held my head and began to buck and tremble. I kept at my task as long as I could as bliss overtook her, but her knees drew up and together and she rode out the tail waves of pleasure on her own. After she finally went limp with her head thrown back, chest heaving, I remember reflecting on the fact that I’d given her this orgasm, yet it felt like a gift to me. I guess we were both pretty satisfied, but she soon sat up with hunger in her eyes.
She knew I hadn’t had a blowjob in years and was eager now to give *me* a gift. She took charge, rolled me onto my back, opened my pants and took my hardness in her hands. She squeezed and stroked me at my base, the swollen head standing proud and dripping with anticipation. Holly settled in on her elbows and moved her lips closer. That first slippery contact was like the hit of a drug; feeling her sweet, warm mouth slide over me and engulf me literally gave me a full body rush. I relaxed and just… received, then softly caressed her head, being sure not to add any pressure – a preference of hers I remembered from our endless conversations. The physical sensation alone was mind blowing, but the vision of this nude goddess worshiping me so enthusiastically as well as the thought of my friend caring for me so, so much made the experience absolutely sublime.
I didn’t want to finish too soon, so after a few blissful minutes I rolled us over again and positioned myself on top of her. We worked together at getting my clothes off and arrived at the moment of truth. I was poised between her legs, aching for her, but in one last attempt to be pragmatic, I managed to form the words “I have a condom”. She left the decision to me, saying “You don’t have to”. Some delusional part of me still thought I was going to put it on as I sank down and let my shaft rest between her lips. I lied to myself that I’d just tease a bit first before wrapping it up as I traced little circles on her clit with the under side of my head. But the battle was already lost. Nothing could stop this. I guided myself lower and aligned with her entrance. I gave the slightest press and nuzzled my head between her lips. From the angle of her hips, to the spread of her legs, to the undulating of her torso, to the coaxing of her hands, to the lust in her eyes, Holly’s entire body begged me. I pushed. Slowly. We looked into each other’s eyes as it happened. I was inside her – skin on skin. The sensation triggered another rush of chemicals and emotion and blood that took my breath and shuddered my body. Regaining control, I rocked gently forward and back, I slid deeper and deeper into my new lover until we were fully connected, bone resting against bone, my tip kissing her cervix. As her body adjusted to mine I held myself there, as deep as possible and we kissed. Our tongues dancing and our hands cradling each other, I began to move. Slow strokes. Short at first, then longer and longer, bottoming out in her with each tender thrust. Our lips broke apart and we looked at each other again. We were making love and it was perfect in every way.
I know my body well and if I can elude that first window of orgasm, I can typically go as long as I want. With Holly, that was a challenge. I had to slow way down a couple times in those first few minutes to let the edge outrun me. But soon we were in the zone. Our bodies fit so well together and responded to each other effortlessly. We were perfectly in tune, picking up on each other’s cues and changing positions as one. We tried it all and all of it was incredible, however we didn’t spend much time in doggy. It seems a shame given the gorgeous shape of that booty, but I needed to be face to face with her. When she rode me, her heavy breasts swayed above me and drove me crazy. She’d lean down and my lips would find one nipple, then the other. No matter the position, our hands were always caressing and holding and guiding each other. And no matter the position, the incredible sight of her gave me absolutely as much pleasure as the feeling. She was such a beautiful woman and the entire night was so loving and affectionate and tender. Sometimes we moved fast, but more often it was slow and sensual. Holly’s second orgasm came as we made love slowly with me on top. She’d never climaxed from such slow, passionate sex before and as it approached, it caught her off guard. We wrapped our arms around each other, I laid my weight on her and she let herself go. She quivered and whimpered below me in the most adorable and vulnerable way.
We took only a couple short breaks throughout the night. I remember her returning to bed at one point wearing a short white bath robe and lying on her back. One of my sharpest memories is climbing back on top of her, untying the belt and unwrapping her like a gift. I paused and drank in her image. Her tan skin against the white fabric. The curve of her hips. Her toned core muscles and yet the softness of her flesh. Her absolute comfort and relaxation in being on display. Her disheveled hair. Her body already opening up to me – ready for more. It was a rare perfect moment in human history.
As we neared the end at who-knows-what hour of the morning, things got amazingly intense. With me on top again, I picked up the pace. Loving her faster and harder than I had all night, Holly said to me “that’s right, take what you want”. At first it put me off a bit. I wanted this to be about both of us and the idea of me just taking what I wanted seemed selfish, almost rapey. But as she said it again and again I started to get it. She was giving herself over to me completely – a woman willing to give or take anything to please her lover. “Take what you want, baby. Take what you want”. Such a gift is not to be wasted, so I owned it and pounded her as hard as I could. Our pleasure started building together. We were a frenzy of moaning, hands groping, legs pushing and pulling, backs arching, and bodies straining to be as close as possible. I could feel us both getting closer. I felt so much for her and when I told her so, she encouraged “Tell me. Tell me what you feel”. “I love you” I said, without hesitation or conflict “ I love you so much right now, Holly”. “ I love you too” she gasped as she clung to me. “I love you”. Faster and harder still, we fucked.
When we chatted in months past about good, hard, aggressive sex, we often used the metaphor of uncaging our inner animals and surrendering to primal instincts. That was our level now, clawing, biting, mating with unsustainable speed and power. Holly knew we were both close to the edge, and at just the right moment begged “Cum for me baby. Please. Please cum inside me”. Again, perfection. We both arrived at the exact same time. First the chemical dump hit our brains. Light headedness, then pure ecstasy washed over us. I buried myself deep inside her and our forms tensed. With my hands under her back, my fingertips, like claws, wrapped over the top of her shoulders and dug into her flesh. The beast I’d become sank its teeth into her collar bone and she cried out as our bodies finally began their physiological response to one another. Muscles deep inside both of us involuntarily flexed and released, flexed and released, over and over again. To that pulsing rhythm I flooded her with my essence and her core spasmed and plunged and swallowed my seed even deeper inside her womb. We gave everything up to each other. All we could do is hold on to one another and ride it as the debilitating pleasure consumed us and bound us together. Coming down from our high, we whispered “I love you” to each other again and again. I love you. I love you. And in that moment, it was real. I felt it. I loved her.
Bodies still paralyzed, we laid connected for a long time just breathing. When we finally separated and the high wore off, there was no crashing guilt or regret. There was only pure satisfaction, gentle aftercare, and the immediate desire to do it all again as soon as possible. But that wasn’t meant to be. We fell asleep in each others arms for a couple of hours, then we said goodbye with one last kiss and I slipped out before her kids woke up. Within two months her husband would return home. Over the course of our half year together, Holly had gained the confidence to leave him. She had it all arranged and moved out of the house with her kids before he even got back. Understandably, she needed to get on with the rest of her life, so we eventually wished one another a fond farewell. Holly and I gave each other exactly what we needed back then: support, friendship, laughter, pleasure, perspective and hope. It was years ago, but I still think of her often and smile.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/sluo5d/the_army_wife_mf_cheating_long
Very well written and a true love story so the two of you didn’t end up together for ever