A break goes better for my ex [FM] than I [M]

This is a bit different than the stories I see on here. Kind of from a voyeur perspective. Potentially sort of like cheating but I don’t consider it full cheating.

My ex fiancée Juliana and I met freshman year of college. She was adorable – and we were each other’s first relationship. Both of us were so inexperienced and awkward. She was super hot and didn’t know it – Russian and cute. We fumbled through sex and were having a lot of fun even though the sex was very mediocre in retrospect. I had trouble lasting more than 15 seconds and she was super shy and wanted one position with the lights off. I was elated and couldn’t get enough of her even though I was probably very selfish in bed. Tbh I rarely saw her naked – she was so shy.

Sophomore year we lived together in an attic off campus. We ended up fighting a bit more and she became jealous of a friend I had met in class. It was partly my fault as I liked the attention this new girl was giving me. Juliana took my phone and read the messages and flipped out on me. There wasn’t anything damning but she was really upset. I decided I wanted a break. We were both poor so we stayed in the same apartment – we even shared a bed but never had sex. It was very awkward.

I was frustrated with her and wanted to spite her and planned a “date” with the girl she was jealous of. I made sure Juliana saw and knew what I was doing. For me – the date didn’t go well and I was friend zoned. Deep down I did it to make her jealous.

On the other hand I really upset and angered Juliana. She asked me if that it was how it’s going to be? We could date others while living together? What would happen if someone brought someone home? Me being and idiot thinking no way she would do that said fine the other can just use the guest room. It was all in theory – I was being arrogant.

Unbeknownst to me she had a “friend” also she met in class who had been after her. She asked him to get drinks.

I asked her where are you going on Saturday. “To get drinks with a friend”. Suddenly I felt on fire and jealous – the tables were turned. With who I asked? “A friend it’s nothing” “you did the same thing right”. I couldn’t argue with her. I tried not to watch her get ready. Obviously she was trying to make me jealous and wanted to look stunning. She put on a little black dress which she almost never wore as it was too short for her.

I had nothing to do that night so I stayed in playing computer games. I was feeling twinges in my stomach wondering where she was and what she was doing. How was she not back yet it was already 1 am. I texted her and asked if she was ok. She replied I’m great I’m drunk!. I said you should come home. Nothing for a half an hour.

My phone lit up at 2:00 am (bars are closed). Her text “I’m bringing someone home please don’t disturb us”. My stomach dropped. I was completely trapped. I was panicking- I contemplated telling her no but I was frozen just staring at my screen.

I heard the keys in the door and her giggling and a man’s voice with her. It was a blur as they walked in. She was drunk and he was all over her. The both said hi to me and went into our bedroom and locked the door before I could say anything.

I’m sitting there wanting to throw up as I just a saw another guy take my girlfriend into my bedroom. I can’t help it but go to the guest bedroom which shares a wall with the main one. The walls are paper thin.

I hear the obvious sounds of them making out and taking off clothing. I can hear muffled voices and giggling by her. She’s enjoying herself. My heart is racing beyond belief as I listen so intently my ear is almost against the wall.

I’m hoping she stops him. She’s maybe too drunk and she will want to sleep. That’s happened with us before. She doesn’t – I hear her moaning and slowly deduce he’s eating her out. My sweet girlfriend who has only known me is obviously now naked for another man and allowing him to lick her beautiful pussy and she is loving it. I know what’s coming next.

I start hearing the unmistakable sounds of the bed start to rock and hit the wall that separates us slightly. He’s fucking her in our bed. This is the 2nd cock she’s ever taken. I’m almost in tears – how could she do this to me. Much to my horror it’s not the end.

The bed start hitting the wall harder. Her moans get louder and I hear her ask him for it rougher. They are bolder now and louder. I can hear him talking to her. “You are fucking hot you little slut – you take my cock so well” I’m sick – how is she letting him talk to her that way. All I hear is her moan in approval.

Now the bed is really rocking and I can hear skin slapping. I’m actually so dumb to think she was too shy to ever want sex like in a porno – I was sure I was good. Now I’m realizing he’s actually fucking her like I couldn’t. The dirty talking is continuing and I can hear how now telling him how good it feels. It’s been 15-20 minutes which is 15 minutes longer than I have ever done with her. I am just laying their stunned and completely defeated. They finally finish and I can hear heavy breathing and sighs.

I hear someone get up and leave the bedroom. The shower starts and I know it’s Julianna. For some reason I think I need to confront her. I quickly go out and I run into her friend who just fucked my gf like she’s never been fucked before.

Hey dude he says nonchalantly. Like this is just another day for him. I can hardly speak. Just getting a beer I reply softly. He smiles and goes into the bathroom where Juliana is showering. Fuck he’s going to shower with her. My stomach drops again – that’s so intimate we had only done it once or twice now he’s doing it the first night.

I’m devastated. Just to try to get the thoughts out of my head I start masturbating in the guest bedroom. I hear them come back to bed. Soon enough they start going at it again. Another thing I haven’t done. Twice in one night – she was always sore she said. I actually masturbate to them having sex and cum to them really hard. Next i feel absolutely disgusted. I can’t sleep and just listen to them having sex for what seemed like another hour. I miss her more than anything – I just want to feel her next to me again.

I check my phone and it’s 5 am and it’s getting light out. They seem to have finally fallen asleep. I haven’t gotten 10 minutes of sound sleep. I just can’t stop thinking about what I heard and I masturbate again to try to forget and it just makes me feel worse. 4 hours go by and I finally get up and starting making breakfast. It’s finally 11 and I’m hiding in the guest room again and I finally hear them whispering to each other.

And of course they are having sex again. This time slower and in my mind gentle and passionate – what I thought I did.

Finally around noon he leaves. I try immediately to confront her. The door is locked and she texts me she doesn’t want to talk about it with me. It’s really awkward. She finally comes out and ignores me and she is going to wash the sheets – which reminds me of everything again. I am so angry with her

4 hours later she texts me and asks for a hug. All the anger washes away. I just want to hug her. I get into bed with her and we hug and I start trying to get friskier and she immediately denies me. I just want to be hugged she tells me.

She starts crying and I ask her what’s wrong thinking and hoping she made a mistake. She did make a mistake – she admits they didn’t use condoms and she’s not on birth control. He was cumming inside her all night. I never have not used a condom with her. When I was with her I couldn’t be angry though for some reason when she was crying. I told it would be ok and I went to cvs and got her plan b. I bought my gf plan b after another man came inside her.

I changed over the next few weeks. I felt myself as more submissive to her. I was suddenly trying to do everything I could to win her back being extremely supportive and caring. She liked how I was acting and she was getting more bold. She joked that that date was good for me as I was now so much better to her.

We ended up dating again. She opened up more about the sex with him as I pretended I just wanted to hear more. She being innocent but honest explained it was a different type of sex she didn’t even know was possible. That stung but I prodded more.

They did every position they could think of – all new to her as we only did missionary under the blankets. She learned she liked it fast and rough and she learned she liked doggie style. She told me luckily we had lube in the side drawer. (We had condoms there also but those seemingly weren’t used). Unknowingly she devastated me by telling me she was shocked by his size and couldn’t believe it fit. She prefers smaller she said ( I guess referring to me) but she was so shocked she could fit him all and not get sore – I was sensing she was proud of herself. She gave her first blowjob ever – to him in the shower. She told me she didn’t like it as her jaw hurt and she felt degraded by kneeling in front of him with his hands on her head. I never got one from her btw but now I was stuck with the image of her naked on her knees in front of him with her first cock in her mouth trying to pleasure him. To take the cake – I finally found out she had her first orgasm ever with him. She never had masturbated before and we thought I was giving them to her but she knew that wasn’t the case when he made her cum. The way she came was being fucked from behind and him reaching around and playing with her. I was just tickling her before – which naively she assumed was an orgasm. After him I have to admit our sex got way better. She was more open and confident and would “teach me”. It was slightly humiliating – she would show me how he did her doggie and ask me to play with her just like he did.

We ended up dating 2 more years and getting engaged. Not surprising to many she ended up cheating on me at the end and leaving me for another guy but I have to thank her or curse her for giving me a wake up call and allowing me to get better at sex and not be a complete push over.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/sjogl3/a_break_goes_better_for_my_ex_fm_than_i_m