First time hooking up with the dude who taught me BDSM [FM]

By popular demand, you fucking weirdos. I avoided this for reasons that are about to become clear, including the fact I just wrote a damn novella. Enjoy.

*Disclaimer: Because so many people have asked questions about this first interaction, I’m going to use this opportunity to explain how I got into this kind of relationship. For narrative purposes, a lot of times I speed up timelines in my stories (combine days and conversations for clarity). I’m not going to do that here. It’s going to be real and a little embarrassing on my part. Skip this one if that’s not your thing.*

I’ve written about this dude a lot because we had colorful sexual experiences. I haven’t written about this specific moment because I wasn’t sure what to include, but whatever. It gets hot by the end.

No, we did not meet in a BDMS chat room and I did not come up and say, “Hi, I’d like you to choke me” upon our introduction. If you met me you would not be like, “That girl probably likes being called a whore in bed.” I’m a lawyer with an affinity for color coding my life, so this does not happen to me everyday.

Our meeting wasn’t totally normal either.

To make a long story short, I was in an obscure part of the world and he heard me talking. He came up and was like, “Oh my god, you’re an American!”

Usually, American or no, I would have told a random dude in a foreign country to fuck off but I was craving conversation. Also, this interaction occurred in front of my very creepy landlord who I was looking for an excuse to avoid.

*He would later almost punch this landlord btw. He has anger issues. Good times.*

One thing leads to another and we end up spending the day together and hit it off. We argue who are the best war correspondents, we trade Ted Talk recommendations, and we buy each other our favorite novels when we find an English bookstore.

*I added in this paragraph because in my experience rough sex is the best when you have a level of friendship and respect for each other before the physical stuff. If we had never fucked, we would have still been friends. If we hadn’t been friends, I would never have fucked him.*

I kept thinking there was something there, but he was almost standoffish. I’m usually not intimidated by how people look but he was off the charts hot and I thought maybe he just wasn’t into me. However, every time we’d finish an activity we’d find an excuse to keep hanging out.

Finally we go to dinner. Dinner turns into drinks. Drinks give me liquid courage to say, “Do you want to just go make out?” Relief washed over his face and he was like, “I thought you would never ask.”

*As it turns out I had made some comment earlier about how I was sick of creepy dudes in my neighborhood saying shit about my body and he thought that was my way of rejecting him.*

He’s a damn good kisser. We make out for a while but I tell him I should get back. He tells me he should too and discloses where he’s staying.

“Holy shit, that’s fucking dangerous this late right?”

He shrugs and tells me he’ll be fine and makes it a point to remark on his height (*Lol, subtle*). I tell him he can sleep on my couch but that he should check expectations now because it’s not that kind of invite. He does not mind.

We stay up all night talking and making out.

I THINK I knew he was kinky then, or at least would be good in bed. Every time we kiss he’s kind of all-consuming. He’s not aggressive, but rather really slow, controlled, and firm with each action. Like, he opens his mouth really slowly but at one point kind of holds my tongue down with his. He pulls me into his lap, and even though I was on top, he was certainly in control.

The only way I can describe it was that he was moving me almost like a puppet (I know that’s a weird analogy). He grabs my thighs and moves me so that my hips are rolling over his at the pace he wants. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s certainly deliberate.

He doesn’t really pull my hair, but he gently weaves his fingers into it so my head can’t really move and holds my face a few inches from his so he can look at me as we grind into each other.

While we do this, he very closely watches my body until he can tell exactly which spot he’s hitting and then grinds me harder into him. When I let out an involuntary gasp, I notice his face changes to this mischievous smile like he’s enjoying that I can’t control it. He jolts his hips up and watches me slam a hand to the wall and cry as I feel myself get tight too quickly.

Holy shit, it is hard not to fuck him right there.

However every time I tell him I need a minute to cool down, he IMMEDIATELY stops, resumes conversation like nothing had happened, and waits for me to initiate again.

*This is sad, but too often in my life “no” has been taken as “convince me.” I’m almost jarred by how responsive he is to boundaries. I think that’s why I was able to take my boundaries so far with him.*

A few times in conversation certain things slip out that gives me pause.

Like I told this story about how my friend threw up when she was hooking up and I watched him visibly get uncomfortable. When I asked him about it he tells me he hates sex when his partner is too drunk. I tell him to elaborate and he goes off on a tangent about how the whole appeal of sex is what someone will “let you do to them” so if they’re wasted it’s already a “compromised mission.”

*Let you do to them? What?*

When I mention I have sex with women it barely even registers. This was when it was still cool to be homophobic. He kind of shrugs and says, “Oh yeah my ex was bi. It was cool because she was already used to toys.”

*Already?*

Finally I ask if he likes being the more controlling person in bed and he just stops, smiles, and raises an eyebrow. I just nod and say “noted” because it’s painfully obvious from our make out sessions that’s the case.

*Should I have known? Maybe. I wasn’t thinking “Damn one day this dude is going to make me lick cum off the floor.” TBH, he was older than me and I thought maybe he was just more experienced.*

So the sun comes up and we part ways. He has a bus to catch and I start my internship the next day. He tells me he’s coming back to town next week for two more nights before he heads back to the states and I invite him to sleep on my couch (*Lol, the couch*).

*I’m going to spoil anticipation now. He’s only gone for two days. He comes back early to see me and never gets on his plane back home. He moves in with me and stays all summer.*

The first night he’s back, we just make out and dry hump. I’m going to be honest, it’s the best make out and dry humping I’ve ever experienced, but I’m exhausted from work and I pass out.

The following evening is Friday. He meets me outside my office and we go to dinner and have a couple of drinks. When we are in my elevator on the way to my apartment he smiles at me. I keep asking what he’s thinking and he says, “I’d tell you but I’m not about to scare you off.”

The moment we get home he scoops me up and takes me to the couch. He lays me back and asks if he can take my underwear off. I nod.

“Tell me if this gets to be too much, ok?”

I don’t get understand what he means but I agree.

He pulls me into his lap. “I’ve been thinking about you like this since the other night.” He starts moving me back and forth across his jeans. I pause because I’m wet and it’s embarrassing.

I try to pull him on top of me but he holds me in place. “You should just get on top,” I whisper.

He shakes his head. “We don’t have a safeword and we’ve been drinking. You don’t want me on top right now.”

“You need a safe word to be on top?”

He shrugs and moves my hips again. “I really want you to get off like this.”

“It’s just-“

“I already know you’re wet. You were wet the other night. I got off to it.” He holds up my underwear which I did not realize were still in his hands. “And your underwear is soaked,” he grins. “You’ve been thinking about it too. So please,” he presses into me, “get off for me.”

“You’re very… honest,” I try to say. The words barely even come out. I’m already moving against him again. And fuck, it feels good.

His hands move to my back and wrap around me as he puts a hand in my hair and tilts my head down so I’m looking at him.

“I want to suck you off,” I say.

“No.”

“What?” I’m taken aback.

“I want you to get off like this. I’m serious.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I don’t care. Try.”

I close my eyes and try to escape into my own head, but he tugs on my hair.

“No,” he says. “Look at me while you do it.”

“This… is kind of embarrassing.”

“That is… kind of the point,” he mocks me.

Well fuck. This is a first for me. Every single thing about this situation is first for me and its overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, my head is spinning. I don’t know if it’s the rush of hormones or the fact that he’s staring at me, but I get kind of emotional.

So yes, I start crying… which is far more embarrassing than getting wet btw.

“Hey! Hey!” He stops me immediately. “I’m so sorry.”

I get off of him and collect myself. We are both apologizing to each other but I don’t even know what for. He asks me what’s wrong and I say I don’t know if I can get myself off in front of someone this early. I don’t know him.

“That’s totally fine! We don’t have to do anything.”

“No! I’m happy to get you off.”

“I’m good.”

“No, no I want to. I really like giving head and I really want you to fuck me.”

“How do I put this? That won’t do much for me. I’d rather get myself off later.”

And that is when we have one of the most honest conversations of my life.

I have such hang ups about “being bad at sex” that I cannot get off before the other person does. He laughs at this and says, “You don’t know it yet, but I think you’d like being someone’s sub.” I don’t even know enough to respond to that.

He explains he has a hang up about getting off first because he cannot get turned on unless he knows the other person wants him.

*He always says “person” instead of “woman” btw. That takes a fun turn later.*

He likes watching when the other person is embarrassed because they want it so bad they’re willing to do anything for it. He likes watching what he can do to them. He especially has a thing for people who are “put together” because they’re “fun to tear apart.”

*I find out later his fetish is orgasm control but he fails to mention that in this little therapy sess.*

He also says the weirdest fucking thing. “I don’t so much receive oral as I fuck people in their mouths. I don’t want to do that unless we’ve established a safe signal and are completely sober.”

*How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that? Why is that so hot? Thanks for making me wet again, asshole.*

Because I get turned on by pleasuring others, I actually see the logic of getting off the way he wants because it will come full circle and make him feel good. I had just never had anyone articulate and demand it with such vigor.

“Would it help if I reminded you you’re doing this for me and not you?” He asks.

*Obviously! Fuck me and say that every single day until I die. Holy shit. I’m going to touch myself to that sentence later.*

I nod.

He offers to eat me out, but I climb back into his lap and pick up where we left off. He moves my hips at first and then lets me explore for a bit until I find the right place to rub my clit back and forth on him.

“You’re only doing this for me, do you understand?”

*Well fuck. That’s pretty fucking hot.*

He reminds me to look at him as he circles my mouth with his thumb and presses it into my mouth. I suck on it for a moment and then he slowly dips each of his fingers in and out of my mouth.

“I cannot wait to fuck this mouth, btw. There are so many parts of your body I’m going to use and defile.”

*Holy shit.*

He unbuttons a few buttons from my shirt and then puts a hand up it. He goes under my bra and cups my breast at the same time he puts a hand firmly on my back to keep me in place. This REALLY heightens stimulation for me, and I cry out a little as I feel the roughness of his fingers.

“Has anyone ever told you that your body is incredibly responsive? Oh Viola, the things I’m going to do to you.” He pinches me and laughs when I smack the wall behind me.

“I’m using you right now, you know that? I’m using you to get turned on. Can you feel how hard I am?”

*Yep, I most certainly can. And sir, you have a very large penis.*

When he massages my breast a little hard and grinds into me, I lose it. My eyes snap shut as I let out a cry. It feels too good.

“No,” he tugs at my hair. “I want to watch you as you come. I want to see what I’m doing to you without even taking my pants off.”

That does it. It’s like a wall of pleasure. I grind into him a final time as I come without breaking eye contact. He has a weird sadistic smile as I do it too which somehow makes this experience hotter. I cannot explain it.

He holds me in place while I climax, pressing into my back and squeezing my chest one last time.

*I come so hard the pain doesn’t even register but I definitely have bruises the next day. I have bruises that entire summer. It’s fucking magical.*

When I’m done, he puts a finger back into my mouth for me to suck and messes with my hair for a few more seconds, laughing at how I’m gasping to breathe.

“Do you want me to fuck you now? Would you like that?”

“Yes,” I respond. I’m fucking helpless.

He flips me over so I’m on all fours and he’s behind me. He just bends over me and puts his mouth to my ear. “That’s too bad then isn’t it? Because I’m not going to fuck you tonight. You’re going to be in agony wanting it for days and I’m going to make you beg.”

“Oh no. I really want you to fuck me. It’s ok! I really want it.”

*I haven’t quite caught on to how this whole “sub” thing works. I think he’s being a gentleman because I flipped out earlier.*

“Be quiet,” he tells me. Open your mouth and lick my hand.

*Weird but ok.*

I do and he starts stroking himself with that hand. With his other he pushes my head into the arm of the couch. “You wish I was in you, don’t you?”

“I promise it’s ok if you want to-“

“-I SAID, you wish I was in you, right? You want me in you?”

“Yes. I really do.”

“That really sucks for you then.”

*What the hell?*

He starts really beating off and I’m aching between my legs. What’s worse is he starts playing with my ass. Not really spanking, but just kind of fondling it, which is really hot.

“I’m going to fuck this ass. I’m going to fuck every part of you. You’re going to beg me to do it too.”

*I mean, I’m starting to understand that’s probably true.*

“Please just fuck me,” I whimper.

“I love hearing you beg.”

“Seriously. You can do it hard or whatever. Just please do it.”

He laughs at me. “Nah, you’re going to think about me fucking you from this point on. It’s all you’re going to think about until I decide I want to do it.”

“Please!”

“I’m going to come on your ass btw.”

“I’d rather you do it inside of me.”

“You’re not really getting how this works but I promise that’s going to change.”

*It would.*

He does come on my ass and it is entirely unsatisfying. My need to fuck him has officially surpassed any shred of dignity and I’m just sitting there contemplating how I can somehow slip away to get myself off.

I turn and gape at him, and he reads my mind. “I want you to wait to get off again, even with yourself.” His voice is weirdly casual and for the first time I realize he sounded entirely different while we were fooling around. His face even changed.

I think I just stare blankly at him like an idiot. “Why?”

His eyes narrow and he lifts an eyebrow. “Because when I fuck you I want you to be so tight and deprived we both lose it.”

“I… really need to do it now.”

“You know, for someone who cried half an hour ago when I told you to orgasm, you’re being pretty fucking greedy.”

“And what if I say no and get myself off?”

His eyes darken again. “Then you have no idea the hell I’m going to put you through before a drop of my cum is inside of you.”

*What the actual fuck is happening and why is it working?*

I gape at him. “Who the fuck are you?”

He shrugs a little too casually. “I don’t know. A somewhat fucked up human?”

“So what exactly is this?”

“Whatever you want it to be. I like you. I like fooling around. I leave in a week but I want to keep hanging out.”

*He didn’t leave in a week. That’s also a fun story.*

“Ok… just don’t murder me. I can’t tell if you’re a genius or insane.”

“Oh I am DEFINITELY insane. Were you uncomfortable with anything?”

“No… just somewhat sexually frustrated now.”

“Exactly how I wanted it on all accounts then.”

*Well, fuck it.*

So yes, that is how we met and how it began. I was weird. Hot but weird.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/rx5a8x/first_time_hooking_up_with_the_dude_who_taught_me