Guilty Cringeq. Serious Apology.

I have been really craving crazy dirty talk/role play/ fantasy/ humiliation (boyfriend tells me he wants to fuck hot women – at my request) and he really does try but it’s just not his thing… which is fine. So I decided to write in my notes app while he was a sleep and I was feeling extremely horny… I wrote quite a few “fantasies” or “erotic literature”… something along those lines… but kinda goofy. Been writing a lot today and re read my stuff… which sounds good to me… I don’t write in the appropriate way that an author should. I guess I could try but it doesn’t feel authentic to me. I’m finally off some manic hyper sexual kick I was on and now it feels cringe to re-read all the spelling errors I have made…  which I thought would be a great idea to post to the public. 😣

Now it feels a bit embarrassing. More so about the awful way it’s written rather than the material… although that is highly debatable… I understand most people hold judgements overly highly horny/kinky people… but all this shit I fantasize about is not real nor would I ever make it real… some yes but most definitely not all.

I struggle to make myself cum unless I’m thinking about my husband fucking another woman. It’s really hard if I masterbate a lot in a day.

I have a lot of interests and kinks… so much that it would be annoying to list out. That’s not really important here. I wonder if I am judging myself too much? Feels like it. Maybe 10 people have read my shit? I still made a terrible impression on them with my awful writing. I do enjoy writing. Not just erotic nsfw, but I enjoy it to just get my feelings out.

I like to journal. I guess it’s safer to just write on paper at home. I do enjoy actually writing. Very therapeutic.

But regardless of my own judgements and fears I hold against myself, I 100% will go back, probably tonight and try to rewrite them better… more cohesively… I do struggle with maintaining a subject for a long period of time. I enjoy the disorganized chaos. It’s what I am use to. I guess that should be my sign to get out of my comfort zone…

I would love critiques and suggestions of any perspective! All is appreciated, positive or negative.

Would also love to collaborate with some other erotic writers… maybe we could assign roles and pass a google doc around?

I doubt I will get any feedback from this. It’s just better to not get my hopes up at all. Learned that lesson early on. Anyways.

Happy New Years y’all.

Thank you ❤️

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/rqbkgr/guilty_cringeq_serious_apology