Need a review on my first writing that im doing for my girlfriend.

Context- We’re dancing in prom night

I held her waist tight with my hands and her arms were on my shoulders. The music was loud but I could still hear her nervous heavy breath, or was it mine? Her beautiful brown eyes were locked into mine. As we danced I could feel the tension between us, her eyes would take a break to look at my lips for a second and would shift back up to my eyes. I ran my hands onto her back, going downwards for a second as if to tease her then pulled her closer slowly. She looked surprised. I leaned in but just as I was close enough to smell her lipstick I shifted towards her ear, I whispered “You wanna get out of here?”my heart was racing, unsure of her answer. She took a second as if to think about it then nodded as though in a hurry. She couldn’t wait to be alone with me either.

We walked out, away from the noise, holding hands, we walked through a few corridors, enough to barely be able to listen to the music anymore. I stopped holding her hand and wrapped mine around her waist. She was wearing the perfume that makes me go crazy. My mind did not stop, where were we gonna go? What if we get caught? It’s not smart taking these risks in a school building at night. But that was not gonna stop us. As we turned the corner of the hallway I pushed her up against the wall, putting both my hands on her hips, she gasped, i covered her mouth with my hand, someone might hear us. I moved my hand to her neck, lightly choking her. I moved in for the kiss slowly. She couldn’t wait not for another second, she jerked me closer and our lips had barely touched when she stopped to look me in the eyes and smile, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling too much. We finally kissed, I had been waiting for this all night long. I moved my other hand from her hip to her ass. The kiss had turned into an aggressive lip bite, I had to pull back to free my lip from her bite then moved it to her neck. Starting at the neck I slowly went up to her ear, I whispered “I love you *her name*” She let out a little giggle. I then bit her ear and whilst I bit her ear I moved both my hands towards her breasts, shifting the collar of her dress as low it could go, she was wearing her black bra which made her look like the sexiest girl on the planet. I bent a little to place my lips onto her bra, biting it and moving it downwards, then kissed her breasts and just as I made my way to her nipple I heard footsteps around the hallway. Shit. Shit. We’ll get in trouble, she quickly adjusted her dress and we ran, there was an empty room, well shit fuck it, we went in and locked the door behind us.

We stood in silence, waiting for the person outside to pass by, as we did I could feel the heat in the air. It was quite enough to hear her heartbeat, it was fast. She was nervous too. As I slowly walked towards her I slowly slipped my blazer out, taking it off and throwing it to the side as I maintained eye contact with her. She stood in the corner, breathing heavily, one hand on the wall next to her and the other hanging by her side. As I came closer to her she moved forward, as if our bodies were calling out for each other. What followed is to this date the most intimate kiss I could ever have felt. The energy was unexplainable. Everytime I bit her lip she would let out a little giggle, smiling whilst her lips were engaged in mine. Slowly her hands ran across my body and onto my chest, she felt my buttons and started unbuttoning them, one by one. She started at my neck, slowly making her way down to the last button. With every button she opened, her breathing got heavier. This was exciting for her. She hadn’t ever stripped me down, it was hot. My heart raced faster every second. As she got done unbuttoning my shirt she put her hands onto my chest and abs. She pulled away from the kiss as if to admire me. It gave me butterflies. This was the love of my life. She started kissing my neck, leaving a trail of marks every few seconds. I kept my hands around her hips, slowly moving them to her back. I felt the chain of her dress and unzipped it in a rather faster motion. I want her and I want her right now. As the chain was fully open, I felt her bare back, it was comfortingly warm. I slid my hands down her now open dress, reaching her ass. As I ran my hands onto it and grabbed it softly, I let out a deep breath, this was getting hotter. She still was kissing my neck, biting and licking my soft spots. She pulled off my shirt and dropped it on the ground, then made her way to my ear,”move” she said. Confused, I wanted to ask where but by the time I opened my mouth to phrase a word she had pushed me onto a table, keeping a hand on my chest to fully lay me flat down. She jumped up to the table and made her way on top of my thighs. As she did, she reached back and pulled off her dress, and threw it away. She looked so hot, like the goddess of love herself, ready to give me all of her body. I was mesmerised. Her round, perfect breasts which stood out beautifully In her tight back bra. Her shoulders, collarbone and arms, all perfect. Her sleek abs looked excellent. Her hips made her look so desirable. The waistband of her panty rested perfectly on her waist. I could not wait anymore. I spoke in a slow voice, “You are the sexiest girl on the planet”. “And you? the sexiest guy. Now let me make you feel like one.” she replied. My heart was doing backflips.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/rh1mb3/need_a_review_on_my_first_writing_that_im_doing