I sexted with a celebrity [FM]

There’s probably no way to get yall to believe this is true, but here goes…

I can’t tell yall who he is, but you would indeed know him. I had to write this *very* carefully.

So I went to law school in a very large city where celebrity sightings weren’t uncommon. I had never really run into anyone I particularly cared about until one fateful day during finals when I realized I had just gone 14 hours without eating and needed breakfast to survive.

I quite literally threw on sweatpants and my ex-boyfriend’s fraternity t-shirt with no bra. I don’t think I even ran a brush through my hair and almost certainly hadn’t brushed my teeth. My hands were stained with highlighter and I even brought my notecards to practice as I waited in line.

My point is this: I looked like a god damned lunatic when this occurred.

So I’m in line to get a breakfast sandwich and hadn’t even looked up from my Crim Pro flashcards when I hear a vaguely familiar laugh behind me. I turned around and low-and-behold, it was *him* (“Celebrity”). I had been a fan for years and my jaw dropped as soon as I realized.

I very shyly asked, “Hey are you Celebrity?”

*I promise this is relevant: he’s not white*

He shakes his head and says, “We don’t *all* look alike.”

I assumed my brain had just turned to mush during finals and apologized profusely for my mistake. In the depths of my humiliation, I notice a faint smile on his face. Finally, he breaks out laughing and admits it is indeed him, but motions for me to keep my voice down. I just nod, still in shock, and go back to my notecards because I have no idea how to engage in conversation with this man.

Luckily, he peers over and asks me to explain “felony homicide” to him. I think I just blurt out “I’m a law student!” He laughs and says he figured I was either a law student or a serial killer, but either way I must be interesting.

I can’t quite tell if he’s flirting at this point. It takes *a lot* to intimidate me, but I am entirely starstruck and the fact that I’m dressed like a homeless person is not lost on me. Despite my unfortunate appearance, we continue our conversation and he offers to buy me breakfast if I’ll stay and eat with him.

So as we eat and I am surprised to find that he is remarkably human and even a tad nerdy. He starts calling me Elle Woods (I’m blonde) and casually asks if my t-shirt belongs to my boyfriend. I tell him I don’t have a boyfriend and his face lights up a little. “So I can take you to dinner sometime then, huh?”

We exchange numbers and go our separate ways because I actually do have to study. I am still in shock and not really expecting him to text because well… he’s Celebrity. I promise this dude is hurting for a hookup.

So I’m in the library later with a few of my friends and my phone lights up. One of my friends looks down and laughs at the very recognizable name that flashes across the screen, asking how someone got *that* nickname. I just kind of laugh it off, but I absolutely melt at his text. He said something about how eating breakfast with me was the best part of his day.

So it’s kind of a long story, but dinner was just impossible to schedule. He was on a project that required him to work weird hours and I was really limited by my exam schedule. I was studying like 16 hour days at that point. Worse was that he actually didn’t live in my city and only had a few days left on his project.

That didn’t stop us from flirting.

Things started out really simple. I asked him what his first impression was of me and he texted, *I assumed you had just fucked a frat boy and lost your bra.* I once messaged him that my roommate was watching his show and he asked what I thought about it. I responded, *The acting is subpar but this character is kind of hot*.

Things started getting a little more heated. I told him about a legal case involving a very weird sex act and he asked if I’d ever try it. I told him it was bold to assume I hadn’t.

So… During law school finals, I got myself off basically every hour, on the hour. It was the only way to calm myself down and keep my mind fresh. When he asked how I stayed sane during finals, I was honest. He really liked that.

I asked if he wanted me to turn on his show and get off to him, and he responded that I had just made him hard. He said if I was looking at him it was only fair for him to get a picture, but I just generally don’t feel comfortable with that.

Instead, I told him I’m a really good writer…

So, I wrote out a detailed story where he came over and fucked me against the wall. He said he was getting himself off to the thought of me sucking his dick, so I wrote in detail about how I would take him deep in my throat and let him come on my face.

He told me he wanted me to get myself off to the thought of me bent over a table as he pounded me from behind. Finally, he called me and listened as I touched myself. I said his name over and over again as I did it…

*Side note: I had definitely gotten myself off to the thought of this dude before we ever met. Sometimes life comes full circle.*

To my surprise, we actually talked for like another hour after that until I decided I really did have to study again. I don’t think our personalities were ever going to be super compatible on a deeper level, but he was a really cool dude and fun to flirt with.

The next day, while we were texting he found out I was bisexual and very respectfully asked what I was like with women. He had never been with a queer girl (well… that he knew of). I just responded *I have A LOT of toys I let them play with*. He asked for a picture of just my toy stash and I actually did agree to this. I said I’d even let him pick out which toy I should get myself off with.

It was actually surprising and kind of cute how many questions he had about what each toy did. I thought he was messing with me at first, but it turns out he was apparently pretty vanilla in bed. Finally, he picked one for me to get off with and called me again so he could listen to me come. He got himself to the thought of him using it on me and kept saying how much he wanted to tie me up (I had a lot of bondage back then). I told him maybe one day I’d let him.

When I was studying Evidence, I remember specifically being bored out of my mind and texting him how much I hated “hearsay” exceptions. He texted back, *I don’t know what that means but I can also make HER SAY whatever I want in bed*. He was cheesy. However, he then proceeded to write me a three-page text about how much he loved eating pussy. The man went into incredible detail. I texted him from the library bathroom as I got myself off.

We really did try to meet up that week. I did want to fuck him, and not just for the story. I genuinely thought he was a cool guy and we definitely had a spark. Alas, our schedules were not meant to align. He flew back to start a different project, and I left the country for an internship. We eventually lost touch.

A few years later I did drunk dial him at a party when my friends and I were talking about what celebrities were like in person. When he picked up the phone I heard someone yell in the background, “Bro, who is in your phone as Freaky Lawyer?”

This will forever be my badge of honor.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/r7htz7/i_sexted_with_a_celebrity_fm