(Disclaimer: this story involves cheating. If that vexes you, write your concerns on the back of a $20 bill and I’ll tell you where to mail it so your concerns are addressed by the right authorities)
“Hey man, you free to head up to Reno next week? Our supplier is changing the T&C of our contract again and I want you to ensure we’re not being taken to the cleaners”
So starts this story, with a text from my boss. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded. The flight duration from the Bay Area to Reno is about two Frasier episodes long, 2.5 if we encounter a headwind. While there, I enjoy Noble Pie (recommend the Wrangler with a good IPA). Not to mention the quiet time away from a quarrelsome long-term relationship beginning to come apart at its seams.
This time however, I was annoyed. Week after week I’d been flying to Reno – I was on Season 7 of Frasier already, to give you an idea. I wanted nothing more than to stay put, to go to happy hours in SF with friends from business school after work, instead of nursing a lonesome pour in my hotel room as I pored over Excel models. I had bought 10 CrossFit classes off of Groupon months ago, and dammit I still needed to redeem 7 of them. So no, boss, I wasn’t free to head to Reno!
“Sure Jake, I can take the Sunday evening flight and meet with their CFO first thing Monday morning? Personally though, I’ve lost faith in these guys and just want source business to that Chinese supplier.”
As I trudged into my hotel room late Sunday evening, I was 6/10 on being tipsy (free Southwest drink coupons), 7/10 on being horny (sat next to a fiiiiiine Asian woman in her 40s who got rather touchy after I used some of my drink coupons for her), and 9/10 on being frustrated (*why am I sleeping in yet another hotel room, but also WHY THE FUCK hadn’t I gotten her number? Do I never pick a hint?*).
My internal monologue wouldn’t shut up, so I headed to the hotel bar to grab a nightcap.
*Fuck, its cold in Reno. Fuck, I could really use a warm mouth around my cock right about now. Fuck, the Asian was chubby in all the right ways. Fuck, this IPA tastes like shoes.*
*Fuck. My. Life.*
I remembered my old Yoga instructor, a 50-something gorgeous woman with the ass of a 20-something. “The universe evens everything out, eventually”, she used to say, which sounded deep as I used to sneak glances of her cleavage, her thigh gap, her ass, for later spank sessions.
With my tipsiness at 8/10 now, I searched “Reno F4M” on RAOBJ and RAOMD. Found a couple older posts. Shot them a very innocuous PM with a photo of myself.
*Fuck, its late. I better sleep.*
———————-
“Hey man, sorry to push our meeting out, have a few urgent fires to put out”
I liked the CFO of our supplier. He and I went to the same MBA program, many years apart. He was sharp, quantitative, a nerd like myself. We had a huge mutual respect that comes from working together over multiple months and learning from each other. I still was annoyed that our meeting was to be much, much later in the day.
Turning to Reddit, *OH HEY SOMEONE REPLIED*! It was a 21 year old girl who wondered if I’m still interested? Of course I am! I shot her a note and started refreshing my screen every 5 seconds.
Orange Envelope!
“Let’s meet this evening…” “Wow you look cute with glasses!” “Here’s another photo of me…” “Haha yes we can grab dinner beforehand”
*Was this happening? Was my yoga instructor right about this? This sort of thing never happens to a nerd like me!*
Hopes up, I take a few phone calls and prep for my CFO meeting later. Moments before, an orange envelope arrives.
“Hey sorry, I don’t feel so well, I think I’ll have an early evening”
*…..what? Damn you Yoga teacher, I wish a lifelong shavasana for you.*
Cloud over my head, I go into the meeting I came to Reno for.
“So I wanted to tell you that we’ll have to redo our payment terms. Tariffs and shipping shortages are fucking with the raw material prices and….. You okay?”
*No, I’m not. The only thing more fucked than your supply chain is my goddamn luck.*
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll run the model again with newer inputs this evening”
Hotel. Gym. Excel. Beer. Bed
—————–
Next morning, as I’m headed out of the hotel for another round of meetings, an orange envelope arrives. “Sorry about last evening.. I really wanted to make it happen”. *Oh, is that so?*
“You feeling better? I can pick you up if you are”
She had me pick her up from a 7-11, 2 miles from my hotel. As I’m pulling into the parking – *wow, she’s gorgeous! Porcelain white skin, delicious lips, are those C cups? Hair long enough to grab and fuck her throat. Wait.. wait, where are my manners??*
“Thanks for still being up for this!”
more small talk as we drive back to the hotel
“Why did you decide to do this?” *why are you looking a gift horse in the mouth you idiot???*
“It’ll make for a good story – I post sometimes on stupidslutclub”
*….oh*
—————–
We walk into my room, she drops her bag on the couch. *What are the rules now that we’ve gotten to this point?*
“Let me know if you’re uncomfortable with anything. For now, I’m going to unwrap my gift” I say, cheese factor at an 11/10 as I kiss her lips and start pawing at her button-down shirt. Holy shit she tastes delicious! Still kissing her, my hands unbutton her shirt and let it fall to the floor.
*C cups, called it!*
I kiss her beautiful face some more, sniff her hair (one of those weirdos that get turned on by that), her neck, blinded by lust and frustration of the past few days (flustered?), I put my tongue in her ear. *What am I doing?? Oh, she seems cool!? Cool!*
I walk over to my bed, sit on it and motion her to come hither.
“Undo my shoes, take my socks off, I want my feet licked”
*Moment of truth. This is where she walks out, or things get interesting.*
She gets on her knees, in her bra and yoga pants, and does exactly what I asked of her. She gives slow and deliberate attention first to my right foot, then the left.
*So glad one of us didn’t get cold feet.*
“Unzip me, I want your warm mouth around my dick”
She does as she’s told. At this point, I’m half man, half pre-cum. Holy shit her mouth around my dick feels amazing! Suddenly, this trip didn’t feel so bad! She bobs her face up and down, I grab her hair. *Good lord they’re silky smooth. I want her conditioner. I want to pull her hair but also not really. Fuck it, I’ll pull them.*
I grab a handful of hair from the base and give them a yank. She’s unperturbed, lost in her own world, her pink lips making my dick vanish halfway and then unleashing it with more spit on it than last time. I wanted her so badly. I didn’t have a condom.
“I’m on my period. I do have a condom though.”
*fuck. yes. Sorry Yoga teacher, shouldn’t have wished death on you.*
“I want you to put the condom on me”
She takes the wrapper off, tries. It’s taking her longer than it should.
Now look, I don’t have a long schlong. No GWS trope here. It’s pretty average in length.. However, it *is* girthy. Which is why I use magnums. She had with her a durex thingie, which just wasn’t….working out. I’m feeling bad, she’s feeling bad.
“Let’s forget this, I just want to blow you”
*She for real?*
“Sorry about the condom fiasco. I’ll visit next week and I’ll bring own then. Right now, I want you to lay on the bed for me”
She does as told. I take off her bra, her yoga pants, there’s a buck naked beauty on my bed. *Holy shit holy shit holy..*
I get on top, kiss her, and start working my way down to her neck, kissing it as I go, final destination tit-ville. As my mouth is working on her tits, my watch buzzes. *Fuck, if I don’t leave in 15 mins, I’ll be late for my meeting. Fuck.*
I sit up, and tell her I need her to rim me. *This is where she draws the line, I bet.*
“Okay”
I sit on her face and she proceeds to lick and slurp my asshole like the fat kid in Willy Wonka. She’s under there for an eternity. I spot the Pearly Gates through my peripheral vision. *This is real. This is happening. I’m rock hard. My asshole is wetter than a Seattle tuesday. Her hair look so pretty as they’re spread out under me on the bed. I want to kiss her so bad.*
So I did. Passionately. *I’ve wanted this for so long*.
10 minutes to go before I’m late. I need to nut.
I get her to kneel by the side of the bed so I can fuck her throat, just as we’d discussed over PMs. One thrust, two. Gag. *Easy there bud*. One thrust. Gag. *Fuck*.
“Suck on my balls”
She does as she’s told. I’m rubbing my own dick now, getting there, quickly.
“Open your mouth”
I cum inside her mouth, the life draining out of me. Head light, spinning. Balls emptied in her, she opens her mouth to show me my cum, and with one gulp, its all gone.
—————–
The supplier meeting went as expected. We *were* being taken to the cleaners. I now have to visit the Chinese supplier next week.
For once, I wish I were headed to Reno.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qurko5/finding_my_unicorn_a_nerds_unexpected_raobj