Authority exchange [satire, exhib]

From:
Office of the Director,
Transportation Security Administration,
Department of Homeland Security.

Subject: Distressed agents.

Ma’am,

Let me forego niceties and be blunt. Please, stop traveling through airports with objects inserted in your rectum to get pulled aside for mandated cavity searches to feed your paraphilia.

I have received multiple reports through the chain of command. Agents across the country were left distressed after encounters with a passenger who became “deliriously excited” when the metal detector pinged. The woman reportedly wasted no time leading the way to the inspection room, disrobing, bending over and spreading her buttocks in an open invitation.

I am told you claimed to be conducting “freedom of navigation operations” when requested to relent. Ma’am, this is not the South China Sea. Navigating with a vibrating toy that has to be extracted from your anus does not help protect the right to travel for citizens through our airport.

I hope a request directly from the head of the department will convey the weight of our concern. Again, ma’am, please.

Signed,

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/qq911m/authority_exchange_satire_exhib