I did not want to awaken the following morning. The shame and anxiety that was caused by my sister seeing me masturbate had kept me awake for half the night, and thinking about the man on the bus the other half of the night. I really hoped that Amy would not mention my lapse of chastity.
Lying in bed, annoyed and angry with myself, I started my usual morning routine of rubbing Cocoa nut butter onto my growing tummy and flourishing breasts. Although I am not body conscious, I am not a fan of stretch marks.
I placed a small dollop of the oily butter onto each nipple to condition them ready for feeding the baby. Although I would be handing the baby over, we had agreed that I’d be the wet nurse for at least three months. I was really pleased with the current size and shape of my breasts, they had gone from their pert A cup to a perky B cup, and I think they had more growing to do before the baby came. My inverted left nipple had also “popped out” a week ago, which I was really pleased about.
My fingers rubbed the oil around my nipples, over and squeezed them firmly, I was eager to see milk droplets, and each morning during my routine I was slightly disappointed that I was not yet lactating.
As I was oiling my nipples with thumb and fore finger of each hand, I started my Kegel exercises to strengthen my pelvic floor. I didn’t like them, it made me feel like I needed to wee.
Amy started to make noises in her room, typical Amy morning noises, groans and moans and sighs of pleasure. I am sure she sleeps with a hand down her panties. Hearing her masturbate always made me smile with happiness – she was having fun, confidently enjoying her body and having enough orgasms for both of us.
The final step of my pregnancy morning routine began, I didn’t want any tears and stitches, so I want to make myself as supple as I could. My hand slid towards my PJ bottoms, lowered them slightly to the top of my flame orange pubic hair and slid my oily hand under the waist band and slowly started oiling the inside of my vagina, I had to try so hard no to get aroused, it’s normally not an issue, but I kept thinking about the man on the bus yesterday looking down my top; that thought really excited me for some reason. Amy’s groans had turned into a chant gathering speed and volume, I knew she was close and her orgasm was moments away, I retreated my hand and rolled out of bed to get ready for work, I couldn’t – then Amy did, it sounded powerful and a smile fell onto my lips.
In the office I sat at my pc trying to work, but I was so distracted, I had thoughts about the bus man and wondered just how much of me he had seen. I wanted, I hoped that he had seen my breasts, my nipples, hoped that he was aroused and longed for him to be thinking of them as he masturbated. This was my first ever erotic fantasy I had had in my life. Damn pregnancy hormones were driving me mad, I couldn’t focus.
I had decided not to wear any panties to work that day, I needed to buy some bigger ones during my lunch break, and I regret not wearing any to absorb the moist spot I was causing on my skirt and chair.
I needed to change the narrative in my mind before I left any noticeable evidence. My head turned to my therapy sessions and what my therapist and Amy have been telling me… that I need to learn not to fight my biological urges. This was definitely a biological urge, but I… could I? At my desk?
I decided not to put on the new black silky bikini cut maternity panties that I had bought over lunch, I enjoyed the freedom that my vagina had, and enjoying anything to do with my vagina was a step towards recovery.
Home time soon approached, and my thoughts soon turned to the man on the bus, and the way he eyed up my passenger belly, then had an eyeful of my breasts. He seemed hypnotised by my big belly, enchanted.
I hoped he’d be on the same bus. I made one final wee break before finishing work, removed my bra and undid an extra button on my blouse, just in case he, or anyone else wanted a peak. I realised there and then, I like being admired, a big step towards self love.
Upon entering the bus, I saw a familiar face light up when he saw me, and it lit up even brighter as I placed my hand on my tummy, and give him the type of smile that I make when I hear Amy orgasm.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/pq5g8h/f23_starting_to_learn_to_self_love_pt_2