Note: Hello, just a quick response that wouldn’t fit in DirtyWritingPrompts. It made me laugh, so I gave it a go. Enjoy.
See original prompt here:
https://old.reddit.com/r/DirtyWritingPrompts/comments/pg4zxf/wp_a_bureaucratic_freeuse_world_where_any_single/
Hello, /u/LastOfTheThrows
The Prompt: A Bureaucratic Free-Use World – Where any single adult can fuck any other single adult provided they’re both properly registered and licensed, the instigator accurately fills out form SE-10 prior to every encounter, and then files a copy with the Bureau of Free Use within 24 hours.
**Free Use Compliance Precinct 7, 0730, Briefing Room**
“…and one last thing? Make sure you check ID before issuing a citation. The city can’t collect a fine from Ben Dover or his wife, Eileen, for that matter.” Chuckles rang through the room. “Dismissed. And be safe out there.” The Free Use Compliance Officers, or FUC boys in blue, got up in unison and started filing out. “Bennett, Kowalski, can you stay back?”
“What do you need, LT?” Kowalski said, pausing by the front table he’d been sitting at. “And who the fuck is Bennett?”
“I am, sir.” A red-headed compliance officer, stepped in front of him and put out her hand to shake. “Just started this week. Ainsley Bennett”
“Ah, fuck…” Kowalski said, realizing what he was looking at…what was about to happen. He ignored the offered hand. Bennett withdrew her hand after a few awkward beats. “First of all, I am not a *sir*. I’m as sergeant. I work for a fucking living. No offense LT.”
“None taken. I don’t do anything but put up with your bullshit all day…that’s more torture than work, if I’m honest.” He sighed. “This isn’t the way I wanted to do this, but Bennett’s paperwork got messed up at the county level. She wasn’t supposed to be here until next week…*after* I broke the news to you about your new partner.”
“Ah, fuck.” Kowalski snarled.
“Is there any better officer to teach her?”
“No, LT, but there are plenty who are willing to put up with this bullshit.”
“It’s done, Kowalski. It’s this, or you take foot patrol down by the pier. You want to walk for your entire shift?” Kowalski frowned. “Yeah, I thought not. If you have a cruiser, you have partner…no two ways about it. Your old one retired, thus you get a new one.”
“She’s so fucking new she probably hasn’t sprouted pubes to match that ginger head of hers.”
“Sir…sorry…*Sarge*,” Bennett interjected, “I’ve been out of the academy for two years, and I worked undercover for the past year…I’m new, sure, but not fresh out. I don’t walk the three-foot academy march, I know my SE-10 from my SB-38, and I can assure you, I have a nice red carpet on my snatch.” Kowalski nearly—*nearly*—cracked a smile as the LT blushed.
“Well, I see I made the right choice with you two. Kowalski…be nice…and if you can’t be nice…at least don’t be an asshole. Dismissed.” Kowalski gave a mock salute that turned into a one-fingered salute as he left the briefing room. Bennett followed behind a moment later.
—-
**11 Westerly Commons, 0817, Shopping Center Parking Lot**
“Dispatch, show us on scene at 11 Westerly Commons, in front of the Target.” Kowalski said into his radio.
“Copy, Unit 215, on scene at 11 Westerly Commons.” The dispatcher replied.
“Looks like a Sam 90.” Kowalski said. He was clearly testing Bennett.
“Um,” she thought, “Failure to comply with an unexpected SE-10.” She said, trying to suppress a smile at knowing she was right. Kowalski nodded.
“You take the guy, I’ll talk to the woman. Looking at the creep, I have to assume she isn’t the complainant.” The guy wasn’t creepy, per se, but definitely not in the league of the statuesque blonde. They were both in Target outfits.
“Co-workers.” Bennett muttered. They got out of their unit.
“Unrequited fucking love.” Kowalski growled. He approached the two, hand near his taser. Neither looked dangerous to Bennett, but that may have been her inexperience. “What seems to be the problem here?” Kowalski said to the woman.
“I have a registered SE-10, and Chloe is refusing to give me what I want and—.”
“Quiet.” Kowalski said. “I wasn’t talking to you.” The guy shut up. “Chloe, is it, Miss? Let’s take a few steps over here while my partner talks to your friend.”
“We’re not friends…he didn’t even ask for my license info…he just…got it somehow. That’s not right!” Kowalski said nothing and moved her away from the guy, turning the girl so her back was to Bennett. Bennett mirrored the move with the guy.
“Let’s keep calm about all this.” Bennett started. “Can I see the SE-10?” The guy fumbled in the front of his jeans pocket and pulled out a crumpled form. Bennett took it and started reviewing the info. “Mr. Marks…can I call you Jake?” He nodded. “Well, Jake, it looks like everything is in order here, but the filing date was a month ago. This is going to expire today at noon.”
“I know! That’s why I approached Chloe. If I miss the deadline, I won’t be able to file for her for another year.”
“You don’t have to tell me the regs, Jake. That’s *my* job.” She was a little frustrated with him, but tried to smile politely. “SE-10s are basically contracts, Jake. Anyone with a license is subject to consent, assuming your sexuality matches, but you only paid for a SE-10 Standard…that requires four hours notice. So, technically, you’ve missed the deadline already. It’s past eight, Jake.”
“She stalled me! I think she knew it expired today, but we started talking before eight, so it counts!” Bennett glanced over her shoulder and saw that Kowalski had the woman getting undressed for a Field Intercourse Compatibility Review, or ‘fixer test’ in FUC-speak.
“Alright, I hear you, Jake. Why don’t you do me a favor and start getting undressed for an FIC review while I talk with my partner?”
“Completely naked?” Jake asked, looking embarrassed.
“Just the pants and underwear is fine…unless you’re really into nipple play?” He shook his head. “Leave your clothes on the hood of your car. I’ll be back in minute.” Bennett and Kowalski walked off to the side, keeping an eye on the naked blonde and the shyly undressing guy.
“He’s going to have big dick, I betcha.” Kowalski said, eyeing the tall skinny guy. “They always do.” The blonde had nice boobs, Bennett had to admit, though she hadn’t done a great job shaving her pubes…or hadn’t shaved in a while. It was mostly dark blonde stubble. Her tanlines almost made it look like she was wearing a white bikini in the morning light. “So, what do we got?”
“Jake Marks, 23, was apparently too shy to approach Chloe Davidson, 22, before the final day of his Standard SE-10. He approached her right around the last four-hour window. Now he’s pissed he might have to wait another year…and he’s out $25.” She added, half-joking. “Seems like a he-said she-said situation.”
“Sounds like it. They both start work at 0830, so…yep, Big Dick Jake,” he nodded over at the now bottomless guy who had a surprisingly long, though flaccid, penis, “told ya…anyhow, she says he got up his nerve to present his form in the final seconds. She claims he sputtered and beat around the bush and didn’t say a word about the SE-10 until after eight. I’m leaning toward believing her, though I also think they don’t really get along. Look at her…look at him. She deals with a new SE-10 every week. Consents with no issue, but I’m sure she has to put up with a lot of losers. I didn’t even have to look up her license to know that—.”
“Shit!” Bennett snapped.
“You didn’t look up his license and application record, did you, Rook?”
“No, Sarge…I forgot. This part of being a compliance officer is a little new to me…we didn’t run license checks while undercover.”
“Oh, *other* people did…so it’s about time you got with the program. Fortunately, I ran him down, too…he’s clean, but he has bad habit of filing for SE-10s and letting them expire.”
“He’s shy.”
“I wouldn’t be shy of that.” Kowalski nodded to the guy’s cock. “Go do your fixer on him. I’ll take care of the girl.
“Why? The SE-10’s invalid. We can’t prove who said what and when, so we just have to send them on their way, and—.”
“Being a good FUC isn’t just about determining the right or wrong of a situation, it’s also about preventing future problems. Just trust me on this, okay?” She sighed, but walked back over to the guy.
“So, do I get to have sex with her?” Jake asked.
“Sir, I have to administer a Field Intercourse Compatibility Review, first. Can you spread your stance a bit, please?” Jake moved his legs apart. Bennett resisted rolling her eyes as she reached between his legs and cupped his balls. “Does that hurt?”
“N-no.” He said. She started teasing his balls with the tips of her fingers, feeling his scrotum contract at the stimulation.
“Still good?”
“Yes…” He said. His penis was starting to swell, and she grabbed his shaft, starting to stroke him. It took a few repetitions, but he started to get hard.
“What are you, ten inches?” She asked as he got fully erect.
“I think so…never really measured. That feels really good, though.”
“I was about to ask, but thanks. Normally I’d work you to get some more pre-come showing, but it looks like you’re there,” She nodded at the tip of his cock.
“I haven’t jerked off in two doors.” He muttered.
“Whatever works for you.” Bennett said. She looked over at her partner, he was working the blonde’s clit and teasing a nipple at the same time. He was either very good at his job or she was someone who got easily aroused. Her thighs were wet, and she was leaning into his touch. “Based on what I’m seeing, you are Intercourse Compatible. Let go over to Chloe and my partner.” She kept the guy and his skinny bare ass in front of her and approached her partner. Chloe seemed to be enjoying herself as Kowalksi fingered her before pulling back his slick fingers.
“You passed, Ms. Davidson.” Kowalkski said, taking out a tissue and wiping down his fingers.
“I know I passed!” She said. “But his SE-10 is still expired. I don’t like being surprised, and—.”
“I didn’t surprise you! I asked you and you waited until—.”
“Enough!” Kowalski barked. “I tried to be a nice guy, here…you two are both revved up, right?” They nodded. “We can’t prove things either way, but what we can do is cite you,” he pointed to Chloe, for Accidental Invalidation of Compliance, and you,” he pointed to Jake, for Disorderly Application of an SE-10 Request. Both of those come with hefty fines, and both of those come with a 90-day ban on sexual activity…that includes consensual sex and masturbation.” Both of them went white. “So here’s what’s going to happen…Jake is going to get a blowjob, and he’s going to come, and in one year, Jake, if you still want to fuck her, file another SE-10 and put it in front of her on day one. Understand?”
“Blow him?” Chloe scoffed.
“Well, I’m not going to do it, and I have no idea if my partner gives a good hummer, so yeah, you, Chloe, are going to blow him. Or get a fine.” Kowalski said. “Your choice. Again, maybe your talk lasted past eight, but you clearly don’t like the guy, which makes me wonder about your motives. So, as a sign of good faith…gob his knob, willingly, no forms, and we’ll consider the matter closed.” The blonde frowned, then looked down at Jake’s steady erection, then at the FUC officers.
“Okay…I’ll do it…I consent.” She said and started to get on her knees.
“Christ!” Kowalski snapped. “Neither of you has a QZ-42 permit for open air sex! In your car, at least, you morons!” The girl blushed, but took her keys from the jeans on the hood of her car and unlocked the doors.
“Get in the passenger side, Jake.” Jake looked to the officers and smiled shyly as he opened the door and sat down bare-assed.
“Are you going to watch?” He asked.
“Til the bitter end, son.” Kowalski said. Chloe got in the driver side, still naked, and leaned over, stroking Jake’s cock for a moment, before closing her eyes, sighing, and easing her lips around his erection. “Damn, that girl’s going to leave a big ol’ wet stain on her upholstery. She was as wet and slick as a seal in water.” He closed the passenger side door, and let Chloe continue to blow her coworker. Bennett gave him side-eye. “What? You saw. Her thighs were slick after just a little finger work.”
“There’s no such thing as Accidental Invalidation of Compliance.” Bennett said, flatly
“No shit, Bennett…but I kind of got the sense she really was fucking with him, if you’ll pardon my turn of phrase, and once he blows his load, we *also* won’t have to worry about him turning all stalker-y on her, right?”
“I suppose…”
“No suppose about it…it’s the way these things work whelp…there he goes…getting a few grabs in on her tits, too. Good for him.” Jake was clearly coming, and Chloe did her part in working him into her mouth. “And…she downs it like a latte.” Kowalski laughed. He knocked on the glass and Jake rolled down the window, panting. Chloe wiped at the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. “We’re done here, folks.” He said. “You can go about your business…but word of advice, Mr. Marks? Maybe offer to return the favor to the lady…or at least finish my finger work?”
“Y-yes, sir, officer, sir…” Bennett and Kowalski started walking away, though Bennett heard Chloe speaking behind her:
“Just your fingers. Yeah, sure, you can do that, Jake, this once…but focus on my clit, okay? We still need to get to work.”
“And, that’s how you do, it Bennett…happy happy, friendly friendly.” Kowalski said as they got back in their cruiser. “Now…let’s hope we don’t get another call until after lunch.”
“You didn’t really expect me to blow him, Sarge, did you?” Bennett asked as he turned over the engine.
“We’ll save those lips for an emergency, Bennett. Besides, you barely looked like you could handle that nightstick of his with your hands, let alone your mouth.” He laughed and she said nothing as they pulled away.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ph9f91/fuc_boys_in_blue